This is my first post!
So to add some context to my dilemma, here's a quickish overview.
I had been engaged for a few years and wedding had been put off for a number of reasons, redundancy, landlord selling up (quick move meant raiding the wedding pot) and very close family members ill health.
Early last year we found out that DH bonus holiday (in some industries this is quite common, apparently) was close to a popular wedding destination abroad. DH and I said if he was awarded it we would get married there. All close friends and family members were aware and supported us eloping, I literally banged on about wanting DH to win this holiday for months. During this time a friend of ours got engaged and asked me and our close circle to be a bridesmaids. I was so happy to be asked.
DH wins holiday and we share our firm plans (where, when etc)with family and close friends. So, this is where things take a bit of a turn. Close friends of mine and soon to be married friend start messaging me separately, 'i honestly can't believe you would even think about getting married before *' 'i find your sudden need to get married very strange' 'what would you do if I wasn't happy with this?' etc etc. The bitching went on for a few months, friends hen do was awkward to say the least. Even on my wedding day and the friends wedding day I had bitchy comments thrown towards me. No hen do for me, they couldn't even meet me for a drink as they were all busy with life admin and other bs reasons. I was flexible on the day, time etc. Some couldn't even say congratulations, instead sending 'sorry wrong group' type messages. After both weddings I was told from other mutual friends that they referred to me as the 'fat bride' and stated I was only getting married because she was. It was all very bitter and childish.
I distanced myself from them and then receive abusive messages from the main instigator and other bride about how my actions had hurt them all and how selfish I was. How we were wrong to share that we got married with other people. I cut off contact with them all at this point.
Anyway, next year we are having a bit of a vow renewal party.
One of the women asked me to meet her for lunch recently. I met her as I felt she was more of a bystander in it all. During lunch she apologies for her part and burying her head in the sand and asked me if she was invited to next years party. I was quite taken back to be honest, I said yes as I felt a bit cornered.
DH says I should invite them all and be the bigger person, put it all behind me. Honestly I don't want to see any of them at this party. Seeing them would bring back all those horrible feelings and memories for me.
Not so quickish!
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AIBU?
Aibu to not invite them?
100 replies
Glittergirl1 · 21/10/2017 14:14
OP posts:
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