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Childcare let down

(12 Posts)
Minaktinga Sat 21-Oct-17 01:47:27

I was supposed be working tomorrow at a festival as part of my 9-5. I arranged a month ago for my FIL to look after DS.

Unfortunately the festival had to be cancelled because of dangerous weather warnings, and I sent FIL a message this afternoon saying it was cancelled but could he have DS anyway so I could do some things. He responded at 9:30pm saying he’d heard the festival was cancelled so had arranged to do something else but that he could come by for a couple of hours to help “if that would help.”

To be honest, I knew this would happen as he has a (little bit of a) track record, but to cancel an arrangement made a month ago on third hand information seems really rude. For all he knew I still had to go out and help with the fallout of the cancellation. I’m upset and having trouble thinking of an appropriate response.

We very rarely ask for help from in-laws as I feel like I have to beg for their help. So when I do ask and Just get dropped last minute, I feel propper angry.

Am I being unreasonable?

NoCryLilSoftSoft Sat 21-Oct-17 01:56:06

So he has still offered to provide free childcare on his weekend so you can “do some things” (all of which I’m sure are not essential or urgent) and you’re pissed at him? hmm

pinkyredrose Sat 21-Oct-17 01:59:08

How is he being rude?

steff13 Sat 21-Oct-17 02:01:39

If the festival was cancelled surely some sort of public announcement was made. That's hardly third hand information. He still offered to help. You are being unreasonable.

SilverySurfer Sat 21-Oct-17 02:04:11

To be honest, I think you are a bit. If your FIL heard about the event being cancelled I don't think it would be unreasonable of him to assume that you no longer required childcare. He offered to babysit for a couple of hours, was that not sufficient time for you to do what you wanted?

It's nice if PIL agree to help with child care but it shouldn't be assumed that they will automatically do it - they have their own lives to lead. It may not always be convenient.

salsmum Sat 21-Oct-17 02:05:18

Sorry but you ABU ....maybe you DFIL has arranged to do 'other things' too I used to help run charity stalls and as a lone parent and no babysitters at hand I had to takes my DCs along (aged 6 and 11 they really enjoyed helping out too and we made it a fun thing to do.Can you not spend a day with your children?

notangelinajolie Sat 21-Oct-17 02:11:55

Your DS so you should be looking after him.

Butterymuffin Sat 21-Oct-17 02:21:15

Or his dad should, angelina. Where's he in all this, OP?

Italiangreyhound Sat 21-Oct-17 02:22:32

YABU, yes. Your FIL offered free child care and then heard it was not needed and made other plans. I do think he should have checked with you that you were not needed in work, but as he was offing to look after his grandchild I guess he can withdraw that offer. He has not dropped you in it because your job was cancelled.

liminality Sat 21-Oct-17 02:26:16

What salsmum? What has your taking kids to a charity stall have anything to do with this?
I'm sure the OP spends plenty of fays with her kids. She just wanted a few hours to do some stuff!
I think it was pretty bad form of your FIL to make other plans without at least checking in with. Ignore the posters who think you should spend every waking hour of your life with your children.

salsmum Sat 21-Oct-17 02:38:10

'Working at a festival' festivals are usually family occasions as were the summer fetes in which I used to run a stall. GPs looking after GC is NOT compulsory BTW.

Minaktinga Sat 21-Oct-17 07:03:13

Thanks all. I did think I was just being a bit daft for nothing. Hard to tell sometimes. DH is working. He often takes time off to accommodate my work and actually I do sometimes pay for a childminder if working weekends. But this once I thought I would ask FIL.

Would have been nice if he’d asked to just make sure I didn’t still have to work, which in my job is totally feasible, but I appreciate as a volunteer he can’t be relied on. FIL has chosen to be on call at work in case there was damage from the storm. Which I KNOW is important. It also means I have to be with them if he comes so it’s not really a couple of hours childcare. Will be nice to see him though. We do get on well. And once again I’ll swear never to ask for help.

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