I've realised DH and I are drifting apart. Different interests, excessive alcohol

WadoSun · 2017-10-21 00:15:10

DH and I got together 6 years ago. We were both heavy drinkers at the time and for 5 years in. I stopped drinking a year ago and feel amazing. I've joined a gym, reached some personal fitness goals, lost a stone in weight and have become more confident (if not a little more reclusive as the alcohol gave me Dutch courage which masked my social anxiety. Since I stopped drinking I've realised that all the stupid arguments, nasty words, paranoia and general negativity was caused by alcohol. Unfortunately, DH continues to drink heavily and he's a twat when he does. He's argumentative and nasty. When we're out he pisses other people off by saying stupid stuff to people and generally being an idiot. He embarrasses me. I never used to notice when I was drunk too but now it's purely mortifying. We once went to see a band and he tried to pull the guitarist off the stage by his guitar. Almost caused a huge fight. In his head he's being "playful" but other people see it as aggression and trouble causing. He's 46. I'm 36 and I feel too old for this shit. All he ever wants to do is go and watch bands where he insists on going right to the front of the stage and going mental in mosh pits, getting absolutely hammered. I used to do this stuff when I was late teens, I can't do it now. Tonight we went to see a band for his birthday and he dragged me to the front, pushing and shoving people out of the way, got hammered, mosh pit erupted around us. I got knocked about all over the place (often by him!) and I just had to get out. I stood at he side to watch instead and he suggested that I was ruining the night being boring. I just can't do it. He's currently in the bathroom being sick. I found myself wishing we could go to a country pub, have a quiet meal and talk - but he says that's boring. A walk through the forest is boring. A drive to the coast is "pointless". When we do these things (extremely rare and I have to push for it) we don't actually talk either - we just sit there in silence trying to make conversation. It's awkward. We're going on holiday in two weeks, just the two of us and he'll be drunk most nights. I then spend the nights on edge wondering when the argument will start. I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that we have drifted apart. AIBU to expect him to curb his drinking for the sake of our marriage? He won't entertain the idea and says the alcohol isn't the problem and that all our arguments are caused by me but since I've stopped drinking, I've realised this simply isn't the case.

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AIBU?

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Thanks to those who reported. We're sorry to say we've found quite a number of inconsistencies in the OP's posting history.