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How can I help my Dad? Think he's depressed.

(6 Posts)
CatWranglersAnonymous Sat 21-Oct-17 00:15:07

Not sure how best to help my Dad.

I came to visit my parents for the weekend, and we had some food and then chilled out in front of the TV for a bit. All of a sudden, I'm sure I heard him whisper something like: 'I wish I was dead' (meaning him). He's got a volunteering shift with Samaritans early tomorrow morning as well, and he said something along the lines of not wanting to go to it.

I tried to suggest to him gently that it may be worth booking an apppintment with the GP and then maybe looking to see if they can refer to him to anyone (ie. counselling). He's been to see a private counsellor in the past, briefly, which I think helped him. I wonder if maybe he's a bit nervous about talking about how he feels in front of the GP and then, if he gets a referral to counselling, repeating how he feels in front of a counsellor, which could be upsetting for him. He's absolutely brilliant at helping other people and giving guidance to them - I just feel like he always puts others first and himself last, and dismisses his own feelings sad

He's got a tendency to get depressed - I'm not sure if it's because he's predisposed to it or if it's more reactive depression brought on by situations around him, or if it's a bit of both types.

To give a bit of background, he and my Mum married really young (in their very early twenties) and are still together now in their seventies.

Although my Dad's retired now, he worked abroad a lot when he was working. Before I was born, my Mum would go abroad with him, and we would all go away with him until I was around 7. After that, he would go abroad on his own for work for three or four months at a time, and my Mum would stay at home to look after me.

Now that he's retired, he spends a lot of time at home, but does some volunteering, especially with Samaritans. I think he gets a lot from the volunteering, as he's helped them out in lots of different ways, and it seems like he's found it really rewarding. But it sounds incredibly tough. With the Samaritans work, while I thinky Dad loves to be valued and to do something helpful and useful (as he did when he was in a paying job), and actually possibly misses the feeling of being valued and having the kind of routine that comes with work, I think it can be really overwhelming to deal with too.

Any ideas on how I can help him please? I'd love for him to get a counselling referral if that's what he needs. Really want him to feel better sad

CatWranglersAnonymous Sat 21-Oct-17 00:29:41


Fascinate Sat 21-Oct-17 00:32:12

Afaik counsellors are supposed to have their own therapists, in order to help them cope with what they hear. I'd think as a Samaritan he would need similar support. Can you word something around that?

CatWranglersAnonymous Sat 21-Oct-17 13:35:24

Thanks Fascinate, that's a good idea smile - I'll try that.

I spoke a bit about it with my Mum this morning, and we talked about if she could maybe go with my Dad to a GP appointment.

CatWranglersAnonymous Sat 21-Oct-17 14:05:57


CatWranglersAnonymous Sat 21-Oct-17 15:52:21


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