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To not "do" xmas this year?

(9 Posts)
Doggymum88 Fri 20-Oct-17 23:55:31

Am i being a miserable inconsiderate being if I don't do xmas?

I don't celebrate the religious side of Xmas and I find the retail side of it a real annoyance.

A few years ago i stopped doing cards and that felt like a weight lifted on its own! My sister and I made a pact not to buy for each other and as neither of us have kids that was easily done.

I absolutely dread the buying for others when I have no idea what to buy (all adults in the family, kids would be much easier!). Also I always ask people not to buy me anything as a. There is nothing I need, and b. It's hard enough finding space for the things I already own let alone more stuff!

Xmas day my MIL (who is a diamond!) likes everyone round hers. This isn't a problem per se but as her, her partner and her other children live there its a cheerful boozy day that my DH misses out on as he can't drink due to driving home.

I would be quite happy staying home with my dog (we can't take him to MIL) and for DH to go to his mums Xmas eve and stay over. To me it's just another day and I wouldn't get sentimental over being alone on Xmas.

MyBrilliantDisguise Fri 20-Oct-17 23:56:51

That sounds really miserable.

Why not spend the money you're saving on Christmas presents on a taxi to and from your MIL?

pallisers Sat 21-Oct-17 00:00:14

I would absolutely stop the gifts. It is one of the things that annoys me most about christmas (we only buy for our own kids and whoever is staying with us though so absolutely pared down).

But why wouldn't you just go to MILs and both of you stay over and enjoy the party or get a taxi or uber back? Is it the dog?

Doggymum88 Sat 21-Oct-17 00:01:10

I guess miserable sums me up!

I will probably buy presents anyway as I know people will still buy for me and I would feel awful not giving something back. I don't understand the appeal of Xmas. To me it seems like a religious occasion that I can't opt out of because it isn't about religion anymore.

ukelelebanana Sat 21-Oct-17 00:01:24

Why don't you drive him home? Or both stay? Or get a taxi?

You seem to be missing the point. Focusing on money and presents when you have the opportunity to have a lovely fun day with family. That's the point, not the gifts.

Doggymum88 Sat 21-Oct-17 00:05:34

Nice to hear non gift giving can work out pallisers.

It is a case of not being able to stay over with the dog. We did have one year a while ago where DH went alone because I was working Xmas morning and it worked out well for both of us. Nobody likes the thought of me being home alone on Xmas day, but when DH is working away I spend weeks at a time alone!

AgathaOHara Sat 21-Oct-17 00:05:51

It’s only miserable if the OP thinks she will be miserable.

Will you, OP? If not, then stay home & let your DP go and have fun with his family. Or will he be miserable without you?

Not everyone enjoys Christmas. Claim D&V and sit it out if you want. Why not?

Doggymum88 Sat 21-Oct-17 00:08:43

Banana I can't drive for medical reasons.

You are right, it is about family. I guess deep down facing up to the fact this is my first xmas without both of my Grandparents (who loved Xmas) is playing on my mind.

Doggymum88 Sat 21-Oct-17 00:11:32

Thank you Agatha!

I would not be miserable at all!

My DH is the kind of man who wouldn't like the thought of leaving me alone but would be absolutely fine once there as he knows how I do like my own space!

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