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Disappointed in gifts, is it just me?

(300 Posts)
Herewegoagain2 Fri 20-Oct-17 22:53:27

I’ve just reacted openly about a gift that I didn’t like from MIL for our new baby (3rd due in 6weeks). Feeing dreadful for hurting her feelings but I’m just fed up of getting gifts I don’t actually like. Does anyone else feel disappointed when recieving a gift they really don’t like or need? I know I sound really ungrateful and I feel bad about that too, but I feel like it’s such a waste of money and always think about what I would have preferred or liked instead.
As a child I had these feelings too, to the point I would actually rather nothing than an unwanted gift. Sorry that sounds terrible but just how I feel and wondering if I’m the only one?

TheOtherNNB Fri 20-Oct-17 22:55:20

Of course we’ve all been given gifts we don’t want/like/need

But it really is polite to keep schtum about it, unless it’s someone you can truly trust not to be offended (eg, NOT mil)

MrsOverTheRoad Fri 20-Oct-17 23:03:09

Did you say something in front of MIL? What was the gift?

crimsonlake Fri 20-Oct-17 23:04:08

You sound very rude and ungrateful, it may be your hormones but you really should fake it. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you would feel if you gave someone a gift and they responded the way you have just done.

Blondielongie Fri 20-Oct-17 23:04:41

You are not alone. But it's nice to be thought of by people who care about you so it's hard when you have different tastes.

Is your MIL ok? What did you say? Can you tell her what you meant was you didn't want her spending money on you, and you didn't mean to offend her?

Blondielongie Fri 20-Oct-17 23:06:34

I think the op does feel dreadful about it and has put herself in her mils shoes.

Santawontbelong Fri 20-Oct-17 23:09:05

Maybe when I disclose what my now exmil bought me when dd was born you will feel a bit grateful. .
A tefal frying pan...
After years of yearning to buy pink(her words) after 6 dgs that's what she bought.

Blackcatonthesofa Fri 20-Oct-17 23:10:10

I once got a new toilet seat for christmas grinconfused

Bluntness100 Fri 20-Oct-17 23:10:47

You sound grabby to be honest. I very much doubt no gift would go down as well as you indicate. You are unable to see a gift as a gift, it’s more simply something you’re entitled to and you’d rather go without that get something you didn’t want.

Honestly, I’m glad I’m not you. Looking down on gifts and allowing it to cause you unhappiness. Such a sad way to live with no joy, just grabbing. I guess you just have to accept that’s who you are.

ukelelebanana Fri 20-Oct-17 23:11:45

The gift wasn't for you though, was it? It was for the baby.

Softkittywarmkitty123 Fri 20-Oct-17 23:12:07

Yep, ungrateful. Buy the stuff you need yourself.

TheOtherNNB Fri 20-Oct-17 23:12:16

Bluntness - get back to the 1800s

dantdmistedious Fri 20-Oct-17 23:12:50

Rude and ungrateful. Play the part, take it back if you can.

are you my sister

SnorkellingCat Fri 20-Oct-17 23:13:21

I received some awful clothes from DHs uncle and aunt for DD when she was born, really not to my taste. But we see them so infrequently that I dressed her in it for a quick photo which I emailed to them and then stuck it in the charity shop bag.

If it's clothes will MIL notice if it goes unworn?

OohMavis Fri 20-Oct-17 23:13:41

Hmm, I actually think it isn't too common to have reached adulthood without being able to act graciously when given a gift that isn't to your taste. If a small child can manage to do it, so can you!

You should work on that.

Namechangetempissue Fri 20-Oct-17 23:14:22

You can't help not liking it of course, but did you say nicely 'thank you so much but it isn't really me, would you mind if I exchanged it?' or did you curl your lip and look pissy? It is crap getting a disappointing gift, but I would never be rude or ungrateful about it.

Butterymuffin Fri 20-Oct-17 23:18:09

Are you Rachel from Friends?

PidgeonSpray Fri 20-Oct-17 23:18:18

I agree. I would rather they give money to charity than buy me a naff / generic gift .

We have a birthday pool thing at work. EVERYONE knows I have at least 3 passions/interests so super easy to buy for...but I got chocolate (I don't like chocolate) and naff piece of jewellery that I'll never ever wear.

I faked the happiness but it's disappointing that people can't put some effort in

WeAllHaveWings Fri 20-Oct-17 23:18:19

Everyone feels the same, but most people manage to keep themselves in check, anything else is rude and ungrateful.

You owe your MIL a big apology.

December11 Fri 20-Oct-17 23:19:59

I've a friend who always gives the best reaction to any present, she shows a lot of appreciation - if its clothes, jewellery or perfume she'll try it on straight away. Its so hard to know if she actually likes it!

Fruitcorner123 Fri 20-Oct-17 23:20:23

I dont get like that OP. Quite often the gifts i get are not what i would have chosen but i appreciate the person has gone to effort and expense. You can always buy the things you want yourself gifts are a bonus surely, not something you expect!

LadyWire Fri 20-Oct-17 23:20:57

But you're not a child any more and you should have learned to do a "that's lovely" face by now. Even children can fake gratitude.

LadyWire Fri 20-Oct-17 23:20:59

But you're not a child any more and you should have learned to do a "that's lovely" face by now. Even children can fake gratitude.

Softkittywarmkitty123 Fri 20-Oct-17 23:21:12

Just give it back to your MIL so she can return it and give the money to someone who is actually worthy of it and not ungrateful and whiney. Get a grip.

allinclusive Fri 20-Oct-17 23:21:30

It’s definitely poor form, especially as the gift wasn’t for you. I’m sure your daughter appreciates gifts thoughtfully chosen by her grandmother even on a subconscious level.

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