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To feel trapped

(12 Posts)
Teawithtoast Fri 20-Oct-17 06:49:24

I have a six month LO and for the past month I have started to resent her.

My DH is a hands on Dad when he is around and I have plenty of relatives around who I am sure would lend a hand, but to me, to ask for help would be admitting that I am not coping and therefore admitting that I am a pretty rubbish Mum.

LO is exclusively breast fed and won't take a bottle. LO also not that interested in weaning yet, although I am introducing food every day through m baby led weaning. Because I am her main source of food, it's difficult for me go out anywhere by myself for any long period of time. LO is also sleeping really badly and whilst my DH helps by rocking LO to sleep when he can, I'm awake incase she needs a feed.

I feel so trapped at the moment. I know how much my LO needs me at this age, but something in me is feeling resentment towards her, rather than motherly love. I do love my LO, I'm just not sure how much I like my her at the moment. The thought of spending the oncoming days with her fills me with dread, even though we keep ourselves busy with baby groups, NCT met ups and baby activities.

It's really come to a head last night. I've had hardly any sleep and she's woken up really early. I'm currently downstairs with her, but she just wants to be entertained by me, rather than her toys and it's exhausting. I don't know what to do to get back to the relationship we once had.

Pengggwn Fri 20-Oct-17 07:14:39

How awful for you. I know you say she won't take a bottle but how many times has this been tried? I know it's a cliche but a child will not starve before taking sustenance however it is offered, they really won't.

RedHelenB Fri 20-Oct-17 07:19:21

Is a jar of baby food that awful every now and then to let you have some time to yourself? Or a little pot of yoghurt?

Teawithtoast Fri 20-Oct-17 07:45:12

Thank you Pengggwn. I haven't tried giving him a bottle when he's really hungry. We had such trouble establishing breast feeding that at the time I didn't introduce a bottle or dummy because I was worried about nipple confusion. I'm guessing that's why he wont take one now, but I can try what you suggest.

I would love him to eat anything solid RedHelenB, but he's really not interested in any food. It's only been a week however.

Mummyoflittledragon Fri 20-Oct-17 07:48:59

I have read on other threads that it is best to give a bit of breast first. Then introduce the bottle when she is still hungry but not screaming starving. I didn’t have this problem. I introduced bottles to dd very young and she was fine with either breast or expressed milk in a bottle.

Mummyoflittledragon Fri 20-Oct-17 07:51:10

Sorry I’m confused on gender. You refer to him, her and she, he.

Teawithtoast Fri 20-Oct-17 07:59:35

Yes sorry, I was trying not to out myself. I know people on here. Bit stupid really. My LO is DS.

Teawithtoast Fri 20-Oct-17 08:00:54

Thank you MummyofLittleDragon, I will try what you have suggested.

RemainOptimistic Fri 20-Oct-17 08:21:10

to ask for help would be admitting that I am not coping and therefore admitting that I am a pretty rubbish Mum.

Are you being serious? I'm going to be brutal. You have got to drop this attitude and sharpish if you want to have any chance of enjoying your life, especially now you have a DC.

How is asking for support weakness? Are your family critical or judgemental? What's underlying this faulty perception about accessing support?

Do you know how lucky you are to even have family around who are in a position to help? My closest relative is 3 hours drive away.

My LO is 8 months old and sleep (lack of) is the biggest factor in my mental health. I wonder if you are suffering long term sleep deprivation now? My DS was also EBF and introducing solids is so far the least enjoyable part of parenting for me. So stressful choosing foods, time consuming to prepare and the constant cleaning up afterwards. Never mind the randomness of what foods he likes and how much or little he wants to eat at any time!

It is stressful OP. Give yourself a break. Access the family support you are so privileged to have.

Laiste Fri 20-Oct-17 08:22:51

Yep, if you're no longer wanting to breast feed then read up on lots of tips online on how to wean onto the bottle and make that your project for the next couple of weeks. It's something to work towards and will release you from being the main feeder.

It's normal to go through some stages of parenthood hating it a bit. Don't beat yourself up. Admit it (like you have here, well done) and remember nothing lasts very long when they're this young flowers Some stages are lovely and some stages are a bit shitty.

Teawithtoast Fri 20-Oct-17 08:44:48

Thank you for your honesty Remain Optimistic. I guess that it has always just been a given that I 'get on with things'. I have to be honest back and say that my family have never been critical or judgemental, I think it's just an issue I have always had and I can't pinpoint where it came from. I like to look like I'm coping otherwise I perceive that others will think I'm weak. It's probably a very vain perception, but it's one that I'm stuck with nonetheless. I can now see that I am indeed very privileged, I never really looked at it that way before. I need to learn that asking for help is not a reflection on my abilities to be a good mother. I can also see from your post that you know exactly how I feel about weaning, it's nice to know someone feels the same.

I do want to continue to breastfeed Laiste, I do really enjoy it, I just wish I could have more time to myself to go out confidentiality for longer than three hours on occasion. This is where a bottle of expressed milk would come in handy once in a while, if he took a bottle.

beingsunny Fri 20-Oct-17 08:50:37

Honestly, this is a totally normal feeling, I think it’s nature’s way of beginning that weaning process and comes at different times for different Mums.

A friend told me that everything is a phase, it doesn’t feel like it in the moment but changes when they are this age are weekly, ask for help, I love overseas so did t have the option but can your mum do something with the solids? Go sit in the garden or drive to the supermarket for half hour.

Worst case you come home and have to BF an angry child!

But my god a line trip to the supermarket will feel like a holiday grin

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