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No phones in teen bedrooms - a no-brainer?

(17 Posts)
MacaroonMama Fri 20-Oct-17 00:09:21

Following on from a point made on tonight's Question Time, I made some blithe comment to DH like 'Oh well, our kids won't have phones in their bedrooms when they're older...' (Three boys, aged 8, 5 and 1, currently no phones/tablets/games things/etc owned by any of them).

To my surprise, DH says he didn't agree with banning phones from bedrooms, felt it was too prescriptive - and we have had a (very mild, mostly good-humoured) argument about it!

AIBU? I just think it can be introduced when they get a phone (when is that? Start of Y7?) as a basic rule - leave downstairs overnight - so sleep is not interrupted, they don't fall down the Wikipedia rabbit-hole, reduces likelihood of cyber-bullying (I've read it peaks at night), etc.

(So as not to drip-feed, DH is a fairly rebellious third child; I am a do-what-I'm-told first child! Yes, oversimplifying a bit...)

NoCryLilSoftSoft Fri 20-Oct-17 00:18:47

For all the reasons you state I have a no phone/screens in bedrooms rule too. Only the 12yo has a phone so far and he doesn’t object at all to it. TBH he isn’t really that attached to his phone anyway but he just leaves it in the kitchen every evening before bed. Other Dc is 8 and will try and sneak his tablet into bed but I’m wise to it now and know to ask for it before bed.

NoCryLilSoftSoft Fri 20-Oct-17 00:20:15

interestingly, I’m also an eldest child. As, obviously, my obliging eldest 12yo grin

BackforGood Fri 20-Oct-17 00:23:50

Well, there's a HUGE range of 'teens'.

I think it is a pretty sensible rule when your dc first gets a phone at the start of Yr7, when they are 11, but I think it is a good thing to help them to learn how to self regulate (all sorts of stuff not just phone use) before they leave home at 18, still a teen.
Plus, some have more 'addictive' personalities than others.
Plus as they get in their teens, they tend to disappear into their rooms for the duration, to emerge only for food and 20minute long showers, so clumping all "teens" together is over simplifying things a lot.

MarmaladeIsMyJam Fri 20-Oct-17 00:28:57

I have two teens, I don't limit screen time, they both self regulate now they are past the silly y7/8 phase.
My parents used to try and stop me reading on a night and I would lie for hours trying to get to sleep. I see this as pretty much the same thing.

MacaroonMama Fri 20-Oct-17 00:29:03

Thank you both. I feel reassured by both your opinions! Funny about the eldest child thing - I think my eldest would accept unquestioningly but not sure about the second one... And yes that is true, teens can be at Uni where it would be better they can discipline themselves a bit. Hmmm, food for thought. Thanks smile

NoCryLilSoftSoft Fri 20-Oct-17 00:30:07

I think reading a book is quite different than looking at/using a phone.

MacaroonMama Fri 20-Oct-17 00:30:34

Sorry Marmalade just seen your post. Ah now, books. Yes. Well, they are surrounded by and adore books. TBH we probably need them to self-regulate with those before phones!

MacaroonMama Fri 20-Oct-17 00:32:21

Yes, I'm sure the science on too much screen time vs too much book-reading would be interesting!

MarmaladeIsMyJam Fri 20-Oct-17 00:36:40

They both use a Kindle app on an evening, unlimited books! I'm sure that was better than me trying so sit at the very edge of my bed to get the tiniest bit of light from the crack in the door, or sitting on my windowsill hoping the streetlight was on!

MarmaladeIsMyJam Fri 20-Oct-17 00:37:38

They both use the night shift mode after 9pm as well

NoCryLilSoftSoft Fri 20-Oct-17 00:39:29

Well, there are lamps! It’s not a choice of kindle or no reading is it?

MarmaladeIsMyJam Fri 20-Oct-17 00:47:20

Well of course there are lamps, but when they get through 8-10 books a week between them, I'm afraid I can't justify spending over £150 a month. Kindle is way cheaper and has masses of books for free!

secondhoneymoon Fri 20-Oct-17 00:52:58

Very sensible post - please update us in 10 years time ....

gluteustothemaximus Fri 20-Oct-17 00:55:45

I stayed up no matter what. Hid under bedclothes with a torch reading.

Not that I am advocating giving them phones. DS is 15, he has as much screen time as he wants but WiFi goes off so he can sleep on a school night. Weekend, freedom.

Whatever you’re going to do, I’d work it out now and stick to it when the time comes. It’s harder to introduce rules after they’ve had freedom (which I discovered the hard way...)

pallisers Fri 20-Oct-17 00:59:38

What do you mean by teens?

12/13 fine
14/15 good luck to you
16/17 say what now?

our rule was phones off/out at around 10.30 ish when we went to bed (and so did they - early starts). My just 16 year old has virtual study groups on skype.

So early teens, yeah fine but you also need to be aware of other things about phones/texts/social media.

I had all sorts of ideas about the teen years when my eldest was 8 ....

Mittens1969 Fri 20-Oct-17 01:00:14

No phones yet as DDs are 8 and 5, but they share an iPad, and DD1 constantly sneaks it into her bedroom and hides under the bed with it for as long as she can. So I expect a pitched battle with her over her phone once she has one. smile

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