Posting for traffic - pnd

[mummytomylittleman]

Already posted in postnatal health, there's not many people about and I feel so alone. This is going to be a long one, I apologise.

I am 17 and have a lovely 10 week old baby boy. My boyfriend and I are very much together and our current situation means that we are living with my parents during the week and staying with his mum (60 miles away) at the weekend. Boyfriend works and I am on a 1 year gap from A levels.

The trouble is I just feel crap. I love my little boy to pieces but I'm just so lonely. Obviously all my friends are still at college and I know no one else who has babies. During the week it is just me on my own with the little man and i barely get time to eat/ get dressed/ shower. My mums work schedule now means she works at home Mondays and Wednesdays so I at least have some company that's sole interest at the moment isnt in the night garden. Me and baby go to a sensory class every Thursday which is great and gets us out but it's only for 1 hour. I don't drive (learning to) and with this shitty weather getting out is hard and well I have no one to go out with.

I am well aware I'm lucky to have a good sleeper so we do feeds at 11, 6 and, 10. The trouble is I suffer from fibromyalgia so I am exhausted. I do all these feeds as boyfriend gets up for work at 6:45. But I am still exhausted.

It's getting to the point where I am watching the clock constantly and looking for things to fill time until someone comes home. The worst is when boyfriend gets home, I breath a sigh of relief, for him to then tell me he's got to go out and won't be back until later. It's like the whole world has just tumbled on top of you. This leaves me to do bath & bed and deal with the ones grumpy time that he likes to have in the evenings all whilst finding time to shower and eat dinner and sterilise bottles and tidy ect.

I dread waking up in the morning on the days I am alone. Sometimes I don't even feel sad I just feel numb.

[StepAwayFromGoogle]

mummytomylittleman, that sounds really tough. I had very bad PND after having DD and really struggled to be on my own with her because I was so lonely and afraid.

Have you been to the doctors to discuss PND or spoken to your midwife/health visitor? It may be that you need medication for a while to help you feel less down.

Try to talk to your OH about the difference it makes when he's there in the evening. Explain you feel lonely a lot of the time when it's just you. Unless you already have, he might just not realise.

Finally, and this is what really helped me, try to plan something for every day you would otherwise be on your own. Mother and baby groups, baby sensory, baby swimming. Give it a couple of weeks to get to know some of the other Mums. Then suggest that you go for coffee or lunch before or after the activity - build a little network. It might take time but it will help you feel less alone x