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To not get on the floor and play with my DD?

(26 Posts)
SnorkellingCat Thu 19-Oct-17 18:19:51

DD is 2, but has a speech delay of around 12 months, a Global Developmental Delay, and several other conditions not really relevant to this post.

Of course I do play with her but not really on the floor; we dance to the radio, have tickle fights, I read books to her and point out the pictures, we have baths together and have mini water fights in the bath, I rock or pretend to feed her doll if she brings her too me, I chase her round the park or we kick a ball together. We watch TV together snuggled under a blanket.

But I don't really get on the floor and play with her dolls house or her farm animals as she seems to get upset when I do it wrong and can't tell me what I should be doing.

I do feel a bit guilty about it, but I just find it as frustrating as she does. She's in Nursery 3 days a week while I work so I feel a bit guilty and like she misses out on time with me. Some of my earliest memories are of my mum playing on the floor with me and my dolls house, putting the dolls to bed etc. I want that so badly for my DD but I just don't enjoy it at the moment. I'm hoping as her speech improves we'll play on the floor.

So AIBU to not get on the floor and play with my DD? Fully prepared to be told I am

Aeroflotgirl Thu 19-Oct-17 18:22:12

There are no rules, I always found being on the floor uncomfortable, so used to play on tabletop or read on the sofa. Your doing fine, there are no rights and wrongs.

Pengggwn Thu 19-Oct-17 18:24:17

I find it a bit odd that this is something you think is really important but you don't do it because you don't enjoy it and you don't think she enjoys it. Can't you just sit on the floor with her while she plays? I don't think this is something you must do but seeing as you feel bad about it, why not find a workaround?

Gilead Thu 19-Oct-17 18:25:09

You sound like a lovely Mum, just carry on as you are, it obviously works for both of you. flowers

Aeroflotgirl Thu 19-Oct-17 18:26:15

Or put puzzles or toys on table top and play there. I found that more comfortable.

SnorkellingCat Thu 19-Oct-17 18:26:22

Pengggwn DD can't tell me she enjoys it or not, and I don't really enjoy it as she gets frustrated when I don't do thinks right like I put the dolls to bed but that's not what she wanted, but can't tell me because of her speech delay.

Pengggwn Thu 19-Oct-17 18:27:35

SnorkellingCat

But again, why can't you just watch her do things the way she wants, sit there and chat to her about it? I'm not saying do this, I have no reason to think you should, but if it bothers you, why not?

Urubu Thu 19-Oct-17 18:29:40

You seem to be saying that playing on the floor = imaginative role play.
I often play on the floor with the DC to do a puzzle for ex, or build a train track or a duplo structure. Could you do that?

NowtAbout Thu 19-Oct-17 18:29:43

I have always hated doing this sort of play with my children. I love all sorts of other things to do with them but even when they could speak I always do it wrong. More to the point it's just fucking boring grin

Aeroflotgirl Thu 19-Oct-17 18:29:48

Just let her direct the play, don't use too much language. I went on the Hanen more than words course for DD who has Asd, developmental and speech and language delay. Say less and stress (emphasise).

nightshade Thu 19-Oct-17 18:38:51

I never did...she is also young...as long as she has opportunity herself to move around the floor ...talk whilst she is playing..help a little bit when walking past or sitting beside her...you don't need to be glued to the floor..

Raver84 Thu 19-Oct-17 18:39:17

If your at home with her you shpuld sit and play a few puzzles or lego with her. The floor is her level and you will be making good eye contact etc with her. Why not just do it for one hour a day?

SnorkellingCat Thu 19-Oct-17 18:41:44

We do puzzles sat at her childs table and chairs and me next to her, and if she's playing on the floor I do talk to her I'm just not down there playing with her.

Turkeyneck Thu 19-Oct-17 18:46:07

I wouldn't worry. With my son I did play on the floor with him, he engaged with me like that so it happened naturally. My dd however hates me doing it all wrong, like yours, and it just doesn't seem to work!

Aquamarine1029 Thu 19-Oct-17 18:50:14

What if you sat on the floor away from her and played with something on your own. Perhaps she would be interested and come over to see what you are doing. If she tries to take over or gets upset, you could direct her back to her toys. It's not too early to try and teach her how to cooperate.

treaclesoda Thu 19-Oct-17 18:50:31

I never, or very rarely, sat on the floor playing with my children. They aren't scarred by it.

I was happy to drink pretend cups of tea when they were brought to me, have pretend sword fights with foam swords, pretend to be on a pirate ship, all sorts of things. But I think it's perfectly ok for children to know that lying on the floor playing with farm animals/toy cars/Playmobil is something that children do, not grownups. If you want to play like that of course it's ok, but I don't think there is anything wrong with not doing it.

Pengggwn Thu 19-Oct-17 18:54:57

I roll round on the floor like an absolute tool with DD. I build, she knocks it down, generally.

SnorkellingCat Thu 19-Oct-17 18:55:05

Treacle My DD makes the best pretend cup of tea ever, and the best pretend chicken roast grin

MoMandaS Thu 19-Oct-17 18:55:44

YANBU at all, but do you know about Intensive Interaction? The idea is basically that you observe what they're doing at their level and start copying it - they then (theoretically) start to feel more engagement with you and encouraged to communicate. Have a look into it, maybe, because I probably haven't explained it very well.

DailyMailReadersAreThick Thu 19-Oct-17 18:59:29

I have no memories of any adult playing on the floor with me. When I think back to my earliest memories it was with the adult on the sofa or in a chair. I've never even noticed, let alone thought it was something I missed out on!

Jenala Thu 19-Oct-17 19:13:41

If it's any consolation I tend not to get on the floor with my DC. I do the things you have described and I think it's fine. It's not like you aren't playing with her at all

Felixandtheflippers Thu 19-Oct-17 19:21:47

You are doing an amazing job- I am sure you have enough on your plate and even if you didn’t you do way more than many other parents. You are showing your child many different ways to “play” and just because you won’t get on the floor to do imaginative play does not mean that your child is missing out from you getting on the floor or missing out from imaginative play. I find tahat children love imaginative play much more by themselves or with a younger person to boss about! X x

mctat Thu 19-Oct-17 19:31:51

'Just let her direct the play, don't use too much language.'

I agree with this. Her play is hers, no need for you to be super involved so long as you are connecting at other times (which you clearly are). Just observe and she will let you know if she wants your involvement (even if it's just a look for now). If she doesn't, it's actually better not to interrupt her flow smile If she does and you're really not feeling it, it's fine to say no. You're being authentic, which is a great gift.

Can't highlight now but I think the Intensive Interaction suggested sounds a bit contrived.

mctat Thu 19-Oct-17 19:32:53

But perhaps do some research on the benefits of independent play. So good for her.

SandysMam Thu 19-Oct-17 19:36:21

Buy her a big fuck off Sylvanian Family House with all the trimmings, my friends DD has one of these and every grown woman I know can't get enough of it!! Getting toys you enjoy too might help take you back to your child hood a bit and make it easier to do this sort of thing.
Seriously though, some people do nothing with their kids, you sound like you do plenty.

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