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Would you approach school about this?

(15 Posts)
Typpical Thu 19-Oct-17 18:13:04

My 6 yr old attends an after school football club, it is delivered by a company the school buy in to deliver this, another club and PE activities in the school. He has done this club every week for a year and a bit now. Each week they give a 'player of the week' medal, apparently for trying hard, good football, team spirit etc. He is becoming very disheartened that he has never had this medal. He recognises he may not be the 'best' player, with lots of older children there but I genuinely think he tries his best each week, and the coach always reports positively on him - I've never had a complaint or concern from them. We've always struggled with his confidence and he's made leaps and bounds over the past year, so I'm cautious when he seems to be slipping back. And he now sees this as a message that they don't think he is any good or trying and wants to move to a different club. On one hand I think if this is a reward for effort and to encourage team spirit and confidence, I do think it should be distributed across the children, rather than leaving one out; alternatively if there are clear criteria on 'who wins' it'd be good to know so I can communicate that to my son. I don't want him thinking he automatically gets a reward or wins at everything he does in life, but I do think this is a bit unfair for a 5, now 6 year old, when seemingly all the other children have had this medal multiple times. WIBU to approach the school about this, or will I look an over the top parent? I know it is a minor issues, but it is becoming a big thing to him.

Shoxfordian Thu 19-Oct-17 18:17:53

How many other children play? I think it could be a tad ott to approach the school. There must be other ways to build his confidence?

Typpical Thu 19-Oct-17 18:19:25

There are 10-12 in the group.

Pengggwn Thu 19-Oct-17 18:21:10

I would speak to the coach and ask what he needs to do to be player of the week as it is making him feel like he must be doing something wrong. Usually I am of the 'Leave it alone' school of thought but you say this has been a year and he's always had positive feedback, so it is worth asking the question.

Glumglowworm Thu 19-Oct-17 18:22:26

It would make more sense to approach the people running the club, say DS has never had player of the week and how can he improve in order to be considered for it.

At this age it really shouldn't leave anyone out, especially if it's based on teamwork and effort not something totally objective like number of goals scored.

Ellapaella Thu 19-Oct-17 18:25:23

I think that for a group that size they really should be distributing the medal fairly and rotating it round the group so everyone gets a turn. It’s well known that promoting confidence happens through praise and reward and a decent children’s sports coach should know that. A good way to put this to the coach would be ‘Jonny feels a bit disheartened and is having a confidence crisis as he tries hard every week but never gets the medal.. is there anything he can work in specifically to improve his skills? If so please could you give him a little extra encouragement to boost his confidence?’
I expect that it’s a typical case of those that listen and do what they’re told every week get overlooked and nothing to do with him personally. Address with the coach - not school.

Typpical Thu 19-Oct-17 18:28:40

I should have explained - I have very little contact with coach apart from at pick up time (where he briefly says 'he had a good game' or something to that effect) when all the other parents are there, hence I thought about emailing school to see they could raise it. I'll see if there is a way I contact coach.

Pengggwn Thu 19-Oct-17 18:29:39

Just tell him you'd like a word and ask when is a good time.

Ellapaella Thu 19-Oct-17 18:32:10

Yes just ask the coach for a word afterwards

JellyBellies Thu 19-Oct-17 18:34:29

Wow, I am in the exact same situation with my 6 year old! I wonder if they are in the same school?

everybodylovesabosom Thu 19-Oct-17 18:39:37

Find a way to speak to the coach.

Do not put this on the school. They probably have little to do with the club and someone (most likely your child's teacher) will have to find time in their day to discuss it with the coach then report back to you. Then they'll be expected to follow up to make sure it's been sorted.

Approach as 'how can he improve so he's in with a chance of winning the prize?'

JellyBellies Thu 19-Oct-17 18:49:23

I have the same dilemma, can't get to school on time to speak to the coach. Not sure if they will play football next half term. If they do, I plan to leave work early one day to speak to the coach.

Typpical Thu 19-Oct-17 18:52:58

It feels a small and silly think doesn't it jelly and I don't know about your child, but it seems a really big thing to my son!

Chrys2017 Thu 19-Oct-17 19:00:05

You cannot possibly know if your son deserves this award until you know what the judgement criteria are. So I would ask this question first.

JellyBellies Thu 19-Oct-17 19:02:28

It is big to them. My son is very happy go lucky and has never complained about school. For him to even mention it means it must be really bothering him

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