My 6 yr old attends an after school football club, it is delivered by a company the school buy in to deliver this, another club and PE activities in the school. He has done this club every week for a year and a bit now. Each week they give a 'player of the week' medal, apparently for trying hard, good football, team spirit etc. He is becoming very disheartened that he has never had this medal. He recognises he may not be the 'best' player, with lots of older children there but I genuinely think he tries his best each week, and the coach always reports positively on him - I've never had a complaint or concern from them. We've always struggled with his confidence and he's made leaps and bounds over the past year, so I'm cautious when he seems to be slipping back. And he now sees this as a message that they don't think he is any good or trying and wants to move to a different club. On one hand I think if this is a reward for effort and to encourage team spirit and confidence, I do think it should be distributed across the children, rather than leaving one out; alternatively if there are clear criteria on 'who wins' it'd be good to know so I can communicate that to my son. I don't want him thinking he automatically gets a reward or wins at everything he does in life, but I do think this is a bit unfair for a 5, now 6 year old, when seemingly all the other children have had this medal multiple times. WIBU to approach the school about this, or will I look an over the top parent? I know it is a minor issues, but it is becoming a big thing to him.
I think that for a group that size they really should be distributing the medal fairly and rotating it round the group so everyone gets a turn. It’s well known that promoting confidence happens through praise and reward and a decent children’s sports coach should know that. A good way to put this to the coach would be ‘Jonny feels a bit disheartened and is having a confidence crisis as he tries hard every week but never gets the medal.. is there anything he can work in specifically to improve his skills? If so please could you give him a little extra encouragement to boost his confidence?’ I expect that it’s a typical case of those that listen and do what they’re told every week get overlooked and nothing to do with him personally. Address with the coach - not school.
I should have explained - I have very little contact with coach apart from at pick up time (where he briefly says 'he had a good game' or something to that effect) when all the other parents are there, hence I thought about emailing school to see they could raise it. I'll see if there is a way I contact coach.
Do not put this on the school. They probably have little to do with the club and someone (most likely your child's teacher) will have to find time in their day to discuss it with the coach then report back to you. Then they'll be expected to follow up to make sure it's been sorted.
Approach as 'how can he improve so he's in with a chance of winning the prize?'