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To not really celebrate Christmas?

(29 Posts)
opalshine Thu 19-Oct-17 16:31:58

Hear me out.

I didn't enjoy Christmas as a child, particularly. My parents - mother really - did try. We had traditions: putting the tree up, a family party on Christmas Eve, a Sunday School party. I think I enjoyed them, but I found the whole thing a bit 'much'. I remember I'd get all wound up and anxious and overwrought, wanting the toys now, not wanting to have to wait weeks.

Then when I was a bit older it just made me sad as it wasn't celebrated then.

Now, obviously we do celebrate Christmas. We buy presents, have a tree and put cards up, visit the Christmas markets, but that's it.

Reading these threads always makes me think I am missing something!

withlotsoflove Thu 19-Oct-17 16:41:10

You aren't missing a thing!
If l could l'd skip the bulk of it too.
I think the general feeling should be more optional - but with all the commercialism surrounding us it feels as if it has to be done

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Thu 19-Oct-17 16:47:54

I'm not very Christmassy either, have a couple of sad anniversaries just before and after and as a result no-one else really makes a big deal of it either.

I'm fine with it. Think there is just way too much pressure on one day. You must have a good time. You must spend more than you can afford on presents. You must overeat and cook the perfect meal.

No wonder the suicide rate is so high at Christmas time. Just chill and do what you like, am thinking about volunteering this year. You've just reminded me to find a local event or charity I can help out with. Thank you!

Whatsername17 Thu 19-Oct-17 17:09:34

I think the best bit about Christmas is doing what makes you happy. I love Christmas, but we do it our way, we have our own traditions and the focus is on being together as a family.

HuckfromScandal Thu 19-Oct-17 17:11:10

We do Xmas day
Food, family, some presents
Tree goes up the week before

But that’s it.
It’s one day......not 17bizzillion weeks of over indulgence...

I actually got the main presents today.
Tickets for 2 shows next year - one in April and one in June. For me Dd, ds and my mom. Tickets for different shows for me and do. So apart from some stocking fillers - I am now done!!
I would be going to the shows anyway!
I don’t do stuff,

CMOTDibbler Thu 19-Oct-17 17:19:48

TBH, I'm slightly confused by 'buying presents, having a tree, visiting christmas markets' being 'just it'. Apart from some food on Christmas day, there isn't anything else is there?

TheEricaOlthwaiteGang Thu 19-Oct-17 17:24:28

Now, obviously we do celebrate Christmas. We buy presents, have a tree and put cards up, visit the Christmas markets, but that's it.

Sounds about right. What else do you want to be doing or think you should be doing.

ludothedog Thu 19-Oct-17 17:27:38

Lots of people don't celebrate Christmas so you WNBU not to really go to town.

I have to say though I just love Christmas. We've made some of our own traditions as well as some of the ones I had as a child and it doesn't have to be routed in consumerism. For example, on the first Friday in December I finish work a bit early, pick DD up from after care early and we go home and decorate the house and tree. I have some mulled wine and we watch a Christmas DVD in our jammies. Its one of my favourite Christmas traditions.

Why not try to create a tradition of your own for your family?

Andrewofgg Thu 19-Oct-17 17:32:12

Christmas in the traditional way is fine if you ate a child or have a child or there are children around. Otherwise - meh.

But for many it being a holiday makes it a chance to get together. Which leads on to the old MN chestnut about what should be open especially on Boxing Day because so often if several nuclear families are to get together as an extended family it cannot be in any of their homes - see MN threads passim as CD draws near.

Andrewofgg Thu 19-Oct-17 17:33:51

Oh dear. I did NOT mean “ate a child” but you probably guessed that!

KC225 Thu 19-Oct-17 17:33:59

What do you really enjoy celebrating? Birthdays? Easter? New Year? Is it just Christmas you feel a bit 'meh' about?

TheEricaOlthwaiteGang Thu 19-Oct-17 17:34:31

Christmas in the traditional way is fine if you ate a child

How's that for a new Christmas tradition Mumsnet. Never mind Elf on the Shelf.

Slimthistime Thu 19-Oct-17 17:36:30

no I hate it

I'm also an atheist, introverted and get quite anxious away from my own home, live in London and don't have a way to get home.

I'm not 100% sure about this yet but I think I have actually persuaded my family to do Xmas on a day that I can actually get home. I have no idea why they want to do it either - the sheep nature of this really annoys me.

so it's possible that this year we will do Xmas Eve and I will actually get to spend Xmas Day in my home watching TV and MNing instead of counting the hours. REcently trains don't run on Boxing Day either, it's a nightmare and car hire when anxious and haven't driven for several years doesn't seem a good plan either.

YANBU at all. I just do not understand what it's become - if you are religious it isn't about all the crazy, if you are not religious then it isn't about the crazy either. I just don't get it. Designated external day that you are supposed to spend with family when 364 other days might work better.

fakenamefornow Thu 19-Oct-17 17:58:07

I'm confused, it sounds like you have a full on Christmas. What else is it you think you should be doing?

ILikeThatSong123 Thu 19-Oct-17 18:00:58

YANBU. I find Christmas quite stressful and hard work. Too much hassle just for one day in the year, too much commercialism, too much pressure, too many expectations.
And as soon as it's midday on 25th of December, it's already over for that year, deflated balloon, yet still we get bombarded with even more commercialism with Boxing Day sales etc etc. Relentless pressure, pressure, pressure.
I have a young(ish) dd and we have been doing all the Christmassy things for her but I am finding it more and more tiring. She is 12 now and it's no longer the magical time it used to be, when she was much younger.
Realistically nowadays I look forward to Christmas purely as a break from work and lots of food and getting up late and trying to relax at home, allowing myself to be a slob. And making plans for summer... That's it basically.

TittyGolightly Thu 19-Oct-17 18:02:59

We ignore it. I absolutely hate everything about Xmas except the food and time together and (more) fairy lights. So those are the bits we do, and we do it when we feel like it rather than on 25th Dec.

Bah humbug.

Brittbugs80 Thu 19-Oct-17 19:00:06

I love Christmas.

It's the most wonderful time of the year! (Actually from September to January is the most wonderful time)

I have a few sad anniversaries too, one of them being the death of my Dad and his funeral being the day before Christmas Eve but he was a huge Christmas fan, I was brought up to celebrate it alongside NYE and it's brilliant. Even when we were all grown up, once we hit the end of November, Christmas began. It's never a stress or a horrible time for me but I'm well practiced at being organised!

It sounds like you do a fair bit. I'd take less notice of what you think you should be doing and just do what you enjoy.

Doramaybe Thu 19-Oct-17 19:17:41

Christmas is generally Marmite.

I agree with pp about it being magical where there are kids around, otherwise it is just another day really.

And the empty chair syndrome affects me too. Lost too many in the last five years that it makes me a bit sad TBH.

In our family we have it licked. My two siblings have kids, we don't and we are a good bit older too. Mum is in a lovely home as she has no mobility and is early stage dementia too poor love. We visit regularly and she loves to see us.

She now uses a wheelchair specially designed for her, but a wheelchair taxi is required to get her out and about. We do this about once a month, but there is nothing like that available for drop off and pick up on Christmas Day, plus there are her personal hygiene needs that cannot be catered for in any of our houses. And she needs assistance eating too.

So Christmas morning we all gather at Mums place. The staff give us a lovely private room and we have a blast. Kids, toys, wrapping paper, noise the works, but we all see one another and Mum. Then off she goes to have lunch with the community. They put on a great show there, booze and all!

Then we disperse to do our own thing. Later in the day myself and DP will revisit Mum for an hour or two, and then it's back to base to crash out.

Simple but it works. No dramas.

Doramaybe Thu 19-Oct-17 19:18:50

Sorry, that was a long post!!

Arealhumanbeing Thu 19-Oct-17 19:31:53

I love Christmas and your celebration sounds good to me!

Also interested to know what it is you feel you’re not doing.

Brittbugs80 Thu 19-Oct-17 19:34:45

Sorry, that was a long post

Don't be, it sounds like you have a lovely time with your family. I think it's lovely you go to your Mom's place and spend it with her.

I know what you mean about empty chair syndrome. We've gained three empty chairs in two years.

MrsLupo Thu 19-Oct-17 19:37:21

Likewise, I'm a bit confused. What you do sounds exactly like celebrating Christmas to me.

lidoshuffle Thu 19-Oct-17 19:41:24

I'm (happily) single and find Christmas, with all the Dickensian-extended-family advertising etc very excluding - it's just not my life. I also detest all the pressure to spend loads of money on presents nobody really wants or needs, just because it's expected. And don't get me going on Christmas stuff in the shops in August!

Doramaybe Thu 19-Oct-17 19:43:34


Thanks and sorry for your losses. We will always miss those we loved who are gone now, and it is particularly hard at Christmas.

stopfuckingshoutingatme Thu 19-Oct-17 19:45:07

Here's to the


People that don't like christmas flowers

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