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TMI - friend's wife's impending birth

(98 Posts)
Sprinklestar Thu 19-Oct-17 14:00:53

Had a text from friend re his wife's latest check up. Baby due imminently. But did he really need to share how many centimetes dilated she already is? Isn't that a bit too personal?! And would his wife really want all and sundry to know the state of her nethers? Maybe I'm old fashioned but in my day, you went to the hospital, gave birth, and that was that. There was no examination in the weeks leading up to the birth to tell you if you'd started dilating yet. And there was certainly no need to share any of this info with your team in the workplace!

OP’s posts: |
Pickleypickles Thu 19-Oct-17 14:06:52

Not sure what you are asking? Why does it matter if someone tells you something even if it is more than you would share in a similar situation?

PandorasXbox Thu 19-Oct-17 14:08:28

Eh? He’s just keeping you informed? It’s not a secret to anyone in the world that a cervix has to dilate during labour!

PointlessUsername Thu 19-Oct-17 14:08:59

Wouldnt bother me.

Danceswithwarthogs Thu 19-Oct-17 14:09:36

Tmi.... Does she know?

leighdinglady Thu 19-Oct-17 14:09:41

I’d be excited for my friend and enjoy the updates

Ribrabrob Thu 19-Oct-17 14:10:04

Oh god I hate all that 'in my day' crap. Good for you living in such better days... hmm now let's find you a medal shall we.

SwimmingInLemonade Thu 19-Oct-17 14:10:36

He's texting his work colleages about how many centimetres his wife is dilated? Um yeah, definitely TMI! (I wonder if she knows what kind of detials he's telling all and sundry?)

PinkHeart5914 Thu 19-Oct-17 14:11:52

But did he really need to share how many centimetes dilated she already is? Isn't that a bit too personal? Why on earth is that too personal? I mean many people now when they text to say they are in labour or the dh texts to say labour has starting they mention how many centimetres.

I think things have just moved on since your day

SatansLittleHelper2 Thu 19-Oct-17 14:12:08

Youre being's not as though he give you details of her discharge is it ?? Don't take the shine off the birth by bringing it up as you're so traumatised whatever you do.

eeanne Thu 19-Oct-17 14:18:19

I'd be mortified if DH did something like that. I've more than once told my mother not to give me every single detail of friends/relatives deliveries and that she'd better not be swapping stories about me either.

fuzzywuzzy Thu 19-Oct-17 14:20:03

When I went into labour, DSIL was away, DMIL was with me during labour as was DP.

Later I found out the DMIL keeping DSIL up to date on progress of my labour. One of DSIL’s friends is a gynaecologist and he along with a roomful of friends were kept up to date on my progress as he’s ask DSIL how many cm etc and DMIL would relay the info.

They were just all very very excited. DSIL is an utterly lovely woman and her and her friends were off celebrating a major life point of one of their group and they were all very very delighted (& interested) for us.

I think in this case friends DH is very excited.

Btw I didn’t mind about DMIL & DSIL I thought it was sweet and if It made her happy it certainly didn’t make any difference to me.

Sprinklestar Thu 19-Oct-17 14:20:08

Just to clarify, she isn't at the hospital now. She had a 36 week check up this week and this is the outcome. To my mind, this isn't info it's necessary to share with people you don't know all that well. I won't be doing anything to take the shine off - in fact I won't say anything at all. But I do know I'd have been mortified if my DH had been sharing details of my personal medical information with people who are essentially strangers to me. Each to their own, I guess.

OP’s posts: |
sukitea Thu 19-Oct-17 14:21:41

Oh do calm down dear.

Wightintheghoulies Thu 19-Oct-17 14:21:59

Actually, I don't think yabu, I'm quite surprised you've had these responses so far. I'm not embarrassed by bodily functions, but I wouldn't be impressed if my partner was telling people he knew (rather than just family and my closest friends) all the little details. It is unnecessary, things like dilation is purely for medical reasons, people generally just like knowing the baby arrived safely and all are doing well - no one needs minute by minute details.

fairyofallthings Thu 19-Oct-17 14:24:15

Yes, it's TMI. So is this thread! grin

onalongsabbatical Thu 19-Oct-17 14:26:01

Similar conversations - in public! - in 1984. (Birth year of my second DD).
When was your day, then, OP?

confusedlittleone Thu 19-Oct-17 14:26:40

Is he a ftm dad? It sounds as if he's just very excited and if you work together maybe trying to say that he'll possibly need time off sooner then expected.

rogueantimatter Thu 19-Oct-17 14:31:09

I'm with you. Oversharing.

But as pps have said, it's great that he's so excited about the imminent arrival. Here's hoping he's equally excited about changing nappies, doing housework etc.

editingfairy Thu 19-Oct-17 14:32:43

OP, I'm with you. TMI and oversharing. Think you've had very rude responses so far. Wonder if his wife knows he's telling eveyrone about her private medical details?

2littlemoos Thu 19-Oct-17 14:34:00

I don't think it's tmi. That information wasn't given in your day and therefore not shared.

It's exciting news!

ziggymarl Thu 19-Oct-17 14:34:31

You can't say "each to their own" and then moan about it online.

I think you are being unreasonable. It doesn't affect your life and even if she did have a problem, its her problem not yours.

Ceto Thu 19-Oct-17 14:34:54

YANBU. Why does anyone need to know that a pregnant woman who is not in labour (or even one who is) is wandering around 2 cm dilated or whatever? I wouldn't have a problem maybe mentioning it to close friends and relatives, but I think that given it's my nether regions it's up to me, not my husband, to decide whether to publicise it. I would be extremely pissed off if my husband were passing on this information to his workmates.

ghostyslovesheets Thu 19-Oct-17 14:37:10

My ex mil told me neighbour I was 8 meters dilated- I mean I know she thought I was a big slapped but I'm not that baggy

CountessOfStrathearn Thu 19-Oct-17 14:39:06

I'd be furious if my DH shared with anyone how many cm I was dilated, never mind his colleagues! That information wasn't given "in my day" either and my children are all between 1 and 8! Equally I've never had a text from any of my friends about how dilated they are either.

I'm definitely a "I'll tell people when the baby comes" person. I don't even like people except my closest friends (not even my family) to know I'm in labour.

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