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Trivial one... AIBU not to share my notes/flashcards?

(139 Posts)
Pineappleundersea Thu 19-Oct-17 11:30:58

I’ve gone back to university in my late 20’s. As part of my studying/revision process, I make flashcards on a website, but I make them private.

One of the students on my course has asked me multiple times to make them publically available. I don’t want to. He’s said I can look at his (but I don’t want to). I feel like I’m being a bit of an arsehole.

I suppose my reasoning is: I put all the work in, why should someone access it for free?

My friend said that it’s irrational not to share them, as I’ve already made them so I don’t really lose out by sharing. But I feel like someone’s benefitting from my effort and I get nothing in return.

AtHomeDadGlos Thu 19-Oct-17 11:34:07

His view is irrational- just look around you and you’ll see myriad things that have already been made - that’s the whole concept of capitalism. Companies don’t share their products for free.

If they’re decent cards tell him he can purchase a copy for x amount. That’ll shut him up.

upperlimit Thu 19-Oct-17 11:36:40

No, you're not unreasonable. What makes him think that you owe him your notes?

Also, shake him off for any group work, he's dead wood.

Summerswallow Thu 19-Oct-17 11:38:11

Just say no! It's not appropriate for him to ask, plus if he studies someone else's flashcards without doing all the back work and studying to create them, chances are he'll do badly anyway.

No, no, no, you are not obliged at all to share your flashcards with him!

MrsOverTheRoad Thu 19-Oct-17 11:38:12

But OP's not a company!

I've NEVER understood this attitude OP...yours I mean.

Sharing is what helps the world to be a better place.

I remember when I was in drama school in London...highly competative, accredited one...we were all under a lot of pressure.

One term we all got placed in small groups to rehearse and perform a scene. Some groups were one male and two females...the idea being that the females shared a role....half a scene each. female partner and I helped one another all the way...helped each other understand the character, helped with costumes...I made a lovely hat which I gave to her to wear...she would come off stage, whip it off her head and I'd shove it on and walk onstage.

Another group were amazed and those girls weren't ashamed to tell me that they'd competed all the way through with each trying to outdo the other.

Why?? Why not just help each other out?

Pineappleundersea Thu 19-Oct-17 11:40:24

Mrs, I don’t really think that’s a fair assumption to make of me. I always help out my classmates in other ways. I just don’t want to share my written cards/nodes.

I’m organised and always making extra timetables, lists of passwords for mock exams, condensing information into more easily accessible formats and I always share those. People find them very helpful. But this is where I want to draw a line.

PickAChew Thu 19-Oct-17 11:40:48

He can bloody well make his own. Making the flashcards is more important to the learning process than passively flicking through them.

selsigfach Thu 19-Oct-17 11:41:44

Mrs but is he offering to help her in return? No way would I have done this. What a lazy bugger. YANBU

YreneTowers Thu 19-Oct-17 11:42:21

I always found that the process of making the flashcards and other study aides was what actually helped me retain the information. Using them after they were done - not so much.

I found using someone else's notes and flashcards was fairly pointless, unless I rewrote them myself in a different format, and then it would be easier to make my own anyway.

Columbine1 Thu 19-Oct-17 11:44:21

You don't have to share them. He's being lazy & is also missing the point - which is the learning process of interpreting & precising the information which embeds the knowledge.

Columbine1 Thu 19-Oct-17 11:45:13

Cross post Yrene smile

Butterymuffin Thu 19-Oct-17 11:46:51

Just say what you've said here next time he asks: 'I don't want to'. And when he asks again, or asks why, 'I've already said, I DON'T WANT TO'. It's your choice and you don't have to do this. You sound like you contribute plenty to the group learning experience already.

AtHomeDadGlos Thu 19-Oct-17 11:47:20

I don’t think you can equate a drama course where you helped make a hat to a course where someone wants an extensive range of revision notes for nowt.

And I’m aware the OP isn’t a company, I wasn’t asserting he was - it was a simile. I’d expect a drama major to understand what one of those was. For the benefit of you, let’s draw a parallel to a self employed person - say a proof reader or copywriter. Should they give away for free, just to help society?

DancesWithOtters Thu 19-Oct-17 11:50:10


Cheeky fucker doesn't want to do the hard work but wants to benefit from the OP's.

DonkeyOil Thu 19-Oct-17 11:50:37

If he'd just asked you about the website etc. and how you constructed the cards so he could do his own, that would be completely fine.

Demanding that you hand them over without him having to lift a finger = bare-faced cheeky fuckery!

Pineappleundersea Thu 19-Oct-17 11:52:51

I’m glad that a lot of people seem to agree with me, it’s very reassuring! I have been a doormat in the past and had a bad feeling about this, so wanted to know if I was in the right before sticking to my guns. Thanks for all the replies.

Nikephorus Thu 19-Oct-17 11:53:40

Making the flashcards is more important to the learning process than passively flicking through them.
This ^^

MrsOverTheRoad Thu 19-Oct-17 11:55:51

AtHome It was a degree course at one of the top three in London.

The making and sharing of the hat was just to illustrate the fact that I see nothing wrong with helping.

Don't be so patronising.

VladmirsPoutine Thu 19-Oct-17 11:55:58

You don't have to. I would share but then again I'm not a very highly strung person. But each to their own.

MrsOverTheRoad Thu 19-Oct-17 11:58:07

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LittleWitch Thu 19-Oct-17 12:00:14

You could ask to see his first as he's so keen on sharing - then you can decide whether his are worth the trade iyswim?

SilverSpot Thu 19-Oct-17 12:01:25

I wouldn't share. Why should you? You made them for yourself. He can make his own if he wants. Or you could sell them to him for £100. Or whatever.

Pineappleundersea Thu 19-Oct-17 12:02:30

Vladimirs Not seeing the connection between being anxious/upset and not wanting to share work. But perhaps you were just trying to have a dig.

SilverSpot Thu 19-Oct-17 12:03:21

I'd share with someone I got on well with and had a good working relationship, and who shared back.

With some waste of space flash card grabber? No.

BitOutOfPractice Thu 19-Oct-17 12:05:38

but is he offering to help her in return?

Erm yes. By returning the favour with his cards

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