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To be pissed off at DS teacher?

(43 Posts)
Cakebaby123 Wed 18-Oct-17 22:02:38

So my DS was supposed to have swimming today with school. Hes been ill with asthma/ chesty cough all week but has been in school.
I informed his teacher that DS would not be taking part in the swimming lesson today due to bad chest and chilly weather.
Teacher said if DS is well enough to be in school he is well enough to take part in swimming and missing it is unacceptable/ not an option.
I politely explained that I would rather DS miss half an hour swimming than 1,2,3 days off school due to being ill. As an asthmatic myself my whole life I'm fully aware that if he was to go swimming with a bad chest and then in the cold air it would knock him sideways so to speak.
This school is amazing usually and actively promotes high/ 100% attendance.
Anyway, I politely declined his advice to return home and fetch DS swimming kit.
Not sure I'm expecting answers but just needed to vent as its got my back up a bit and I'm half expecting a letter to go out about the compulsory attendance to swimming.

MaisyPops Wed 18-Oct-17 22:07:46

She has a point. Could he not dry off and use a hairdrier at the pool as a reasomable adjustment? Thats what i do and i'm asthmatic.

That said, you've said you're after a rant and that's fair enough. Given you're about the 3rd 'I'm annoyed at a teacher' threaf tonight alone and they always have a healthy amount of 'report to head teacher/demand a meeting / complain about thr teacher / teachers are bullies / what would ofsted say' type posters you'll get your rant.
Just be prepared that you seem so far to be more measured and reasonable than the wya the thread will inevitably go.

SezziBaybee Wed 18-Oct-17 22:13:33

YANBU. I wouldn't send my daughter swimming with a bad chest. X

Cakebaby123 Wed 18-Oct-17 22:15:50

Thanks maisypops for your reply.
Totally get where you're coming from and usually I would just tell DS to carry on and get on with his lesson but he's so young he'd not for a second be able to use the dryer like you suggested. If I was with him then that would be the thing I'd do.
Like.I said, his school is usually amazing and I've worked closely with them for years now. And I totally appreciate that his teachers work their butts off for our children, but there's a niggling voice in me that says; I know my child, they don't own my child and i wish I could be trusted as a parent to make that decision.

Cakebaby123 Wed 18-Oct-17 22:16:51

Thanks sezzi x

NetRunner Wed 18-Oct-17 22:16:52

YANBU. You're the parent, it's up to you in this case. It is not the case that a child having an asthma flare up always needs to be away from school completely, but they may need to avoid certain activities until things have calmed down. Your instruction to the teacher was perfectly reasonable and justifiable and he was unnecessarily argumentative.

NoCryLilSoftSoft Wed 18-Oct-17 22:19:18

Could he not dry off and use a hairdrier at the pool as a reasomable adjustment?

I'd be amazed if they allowed him time to do it. They always seem to be rushing them back to the bus. Hardly time to get dried.

Hellywelly10 Wed 18-Oct-17 22:22:55

I was told that I shouldnt keep my child off school and bring her in after swimming. She needed to come in and get her attendence mark for the morning even if she was sit ting out of swimming. I thought if she would benefit from a lye in to help her recover. Schools are very paternalistic at times. Even when mother may know best.

LivLemler Wed 18-Oct-17 22:23:43

I wouldn't have thought most asthmatics with a bad cough would be up to any physical exercise, whatever the type.

sayyouwill Wed 18-Oct-17 22:23:56

I think YABU. I think the teach makes a good point.
But then again I don't suffer from asthma so really have no idea how it would affect you to go swimming with a cough. Just ignorance on my part perhaps, but it sounds unreasonable to someone who knows nothing about the affliction

Cakebaby123 Wed 18-Oct-17 22:43:25

sayyouwill just imagine a huge heavy weight pressing down on your chest. Then you go in the water.. Then go outside in the cold air whilst wet from swimming and then that heavy weight presses down harder. That's the only way I can describe my experiences. God forbid it turn worse and you actually feel like that weight is so damn heavy on your chest that you cannot breathe at all.. Cue the asthma attack.
I'm not prepared to take the risk.
He's a high acheiver in everything at school he's doing amazing. His attendance is currently 100%.. Its not like I/ we can't be bothered.
But his health, especially with something that, in our experience, can turn life threatening in moments, is not worth the risk x

justilou1 Wed 18-Oct-17 22:46:36

Clearly the teacher has mistaken asthma for something communicable like a cold. WHAT A TWAT!

Ca55andraMortmain Wed 18-Oct-17 22:47:43

I'm not sure if this is relevant- but our LA is absolutely militant about full attendance for swimming and monitors it closely. It is compulsory for us to offer swimming in year 3 and we actually have nothing to do with the lessons or arrangements, it is all council run. Maybe the school are approaching it from that perspective.

They're still wrong, obviously, but that might be the reason they're acting so differently to your previous dealings with them?

thegreylady Wed 18-Oct-17 22:48:47

Last winter my dgs went to a pool party in cold weather. He was 13 (now14). He walked home on a cold afternoon with damp hair and a very chesty cough which must have been brewing. He developed pneumonia. Admittedly in his case it was his own fault he should have a) used the hairdryer and b) waited for a lift but it does show that thoughtlessness in such matters can have serious consequences.
I know that cold, wet hair etc does not make you ill but it can exacerbate an existing virus etc.

KatnissMellark Wed 18-Oct-17 22:55:46

YANBU as far as I can tell. I'm asthmatic and a very keen runner and an ex lifeguard so know exactly what you mean. When well swimming and exercise in general are fantastic for helping to manage the condition, however when borderline, but not quite unwell, they tip you over the edge. I wouldn't be happy with the teacher's response which is basically miss out on your education or do something that will make you unwell. Not really good enough in my view.

Lindy2 Wed 18-Oct-17 22:56:50

I suffered from childhood asthma. There's a big difference between being able to sit at a desk and take part in a classroom lesson and being made to swim and breathe in cold air afterwards. For an asthmatic that would be horrific. Quite dangerous in fact as a serious attack could be triggered.
There were plenty of days when I was ok to be in school but had to miss my going to the swimming club I was a member of after school because of asthma. Because the swimming was not linked to school at all no one thought it was odd to do one but not the other.
The teacher has seriously underestimated what the reality of asthma is.

TempStamos Wed 18-Oct-17 23:03:42

Teacher was unreasonable to question your decision, I have always been able to send my DC to school with notes to excuse them from games or swimming. Your his parent and if you say he is well enough to be in school but not to go swimming then that’s what should happen.

BerriesandLeaves Wed 18-Oct-17 23:42:24

At dd's high school a note doesn't automatically excuse a child from PE or swimming and it is down to the judgement of the teacher. This is because some people would write a note every week to excuse their child if they didn't fancy it.
BUT in this case i think your child should have been excused. Although i admit i don't know much about asthma, so don't know what a doctor's advice would be in this situation

BerriesandLeaves Wed 18-Oct-17 23:46:51

I do disagree with the teacher that if you are well enough for are well enough for swimming. Dd went back to school after being ill in bed with a fever and cough. She was well enough to sit in lessons, but not recovered enough to exert herself in a pool. The teachers were fine with that.

BerriesandLeaves Wed 18-Oct-17 23:49:11

That was meant to say "This is because some people would write a note every week to excuse their child if they didn't fancy it which you obviously wouldn't be able to do if they didn't fancy maths."

Dixiestampsagain Wed 18-Oct-17 23:51:32

YANBU I am asthmatic, as is my dd. She has a really bad cough and I contemplated sending a note to ask if she could sit out PE today if she didn't feel up to it, but I know that the teacher would use his judgement anyway if she said she felt poorly and needed her inhaler. I wouldn't have wanted her to go swimming.

Dixiestampsagain Wed 18-Oct-17 23:53:48

I'd just like to add that I have a friend whose brother died of an asthma attack in a pe lesson in school- it absolutely must be taken seriously (although this was an isolated and very rare incident, I realise)

thatdearoctopus Wed 18-Oct-17 23:58:29

I'm a teacher and fully agree with you that you are the parent and know much more about asthma (and your son's condition) than I do. I would never be so arrogant as to insist an asthmatic child undertake an exertion that could end in them becoming seriously unwell.

Cakebaby123 Thu 19-Oct-17 07:44:11

Thanks all, feeling a bit better about it today after reading all your responses. I don't want to be 'that parent' as I do generally have a great relationship with the school x

TheHungryDonkey Thu 19-Oct-17 08:03:18

People die from asthma attacks. Is this something people don’t realise?

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