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To want 2 under 2?

(48 Posts)
mintich Wed 18-Oct-17 19:55:37

We have a 5 month old and want a small age gap. I'm 37 and that is also a factor in trying for a baby in the next few months. Will we cope with 2 under 2? Experiences please!

Santawontbelong Wed 18-Oct-17 19:57:34

Smallest gap between my dc is 14 months. Loved it!! Concentrate on getting a good bedtime routine now and it will pay dividends later on!!

livingthegoodlife Wed 18-Oct-17 19:58:21

14 month gap here too, loved it! i had the next one pretty quickly too so had 3 under 2.5 years! no more though.......

do it!

Kitkatmonster Wed 18-Oct-17 20:02:32

Hell to the no. 19 month gap. Hardest months of my life having a new baby and a bigger baby.

Gradiva Wed 18-Oct-17 20:03:47

Do it! I have two under two (22-month-old and 17 week baby). I never left 'baby land'. It's not as difficult as I thought it would be. If you can, try to get the older one sleeping well before newbie arrives. People always tell me it's great when they're older so I'm just taking it one day at a time and looking forward to taking them to the zoo in a few years!

MadForlt Wed 18-Oct-17 20:05:19

19 month gap here. Wouldn't change it. They are now both at the same uni, have lots of shared interests and get on great.

I actuary found two easier than one, they entertained each other *

*I realise that might not be everyone's experience

3girlsmama Wed 18-Oct-17 20:05:36

We went for baby number two when our first baby was 12 months old, and got babies two and three together! 3 under 2 was full on but if it happens you'd manage, the time goes fast!

SandyDenny Wed 18-Oct-17 20:08:09

I posted on a thread asking the same question last week, it may still be runnning, unless things have changes since I had my now teenagers having 2 under 2 is totally normal and ime the most common age gap.

Have times changed so much that this is now considered a big thing?

georgie262 Wed 18-Oct-17 20:09:03

When I was pregnant with my first child my husband worked with a man who had 4 under 4! I was totally in awe of his wife!

Pinkvoid Wed 18-Oct-17 20:09:24

I had three in 2.5 years. 15 months between the first two, 14 months between the second two. It was horrendous. I barely remember about four years of my life... I’ve only just started to get out that zombie like state now they’re all getting to an independent stage and at school (aged 5,6 and 7.)

I had the same thinking as you fwiw. Wanted two close together, third was a massive surprise! It was bloody hard and I’m still not sure what I was thinking! There are some pro’s such as they all go through the stages close together so you’re never out of the routine of things then suddenly thrown back into that sort of age iykwim but largely it’s really fucking difficult. I wouldn’t actively advise people do it. If I had my time again I’d —only have one— space them out by at least three years. Appreciate time isn’t on your side though. Good luck grin.

mintich Wed 18-Oct-17 20:27:22

@sandydenny I think people do consider it a big thing. The couple of people I've discussed it with think I'm crazy.....not that they have experience of it

1AngelicFruitCake Wed 18-Oct-17 20:29:36

2 under 2 and I loved it! Elder child coped fine and not jealous as she's grown up with a sister. Lovely together and not as bad as I thought x

MrsA2015 Wed 18-Oct-17 20:30:41

I’ve been having similar thoughts, DD is two this month and I’m so desperately broody. I’m still not coping with the 100% attention they need and cannot for th life of me understand why I just want another!

goodbyestranger Wed 18-Oct-17 20:31:34

I had six under seven. Two under two is fairly standard surely and two is easily manageable assuming no health complications and just about enough sleep to function.

IndianaMoleWoman Wed 18-Oct-17 20:35:13

Do it! It is really, really hard at first but gets easier with each passing month. Our second is one soon and they play together and it’s lovely (wasn’t so nice when she was a newborn being attacked at every opportunity by her one year old sister, mind you!)

Another bonus for us was my pregnancies were terrible so eldest was young enough to not remember me being in and out of hospital throughout the second pregnancy.

Also, not to put a downer on things but you don’t know how long it will take to conceive.

Ecureuil Wed 18-Oct-17 20:35:51

20 months between my 2 and it was bloody tough, mainly because DD1 didn’t sleep through until she was 3.5 and DD2 was the most horrific sleeper until 15 months old.

When I was pregnant with my first child my husband worked with a man who had 4 under 4! I was totally in awe of his wife!

A friend of mine had 4 under 3.5 shock

Ecureuil Wed 18-Oct-17 20:37:08

Should have said, they’re nearly 4 and 2.3 now and it’s fine. Lovely even! They’re best friends. And they both sleep.

FlandersRocks Wed 18-Oct-17 20:39:14

I have just over, a 27 month gap.

I'm torn as to whether I'd 'recommend' a 2 year gap. One one hand, now (at ages 9 and 7) it's amazing. Lovely gap. It's been this way for a while, since Ds2 was 3 I'd say.

On the other hand, I feel like I missed out on a LOT of ds2's first year just because I was too busy juggling a toddler at the same time.

We now have ds3 who is 5 months so a big gap...and as he's going through his first smile, first food, first roll over etc it brings to mind lots of memories of ds1 doing them...and hardly any of Ds2 sad . The older boys have been asking a lot of 'how old was I when I...' lately and I know all of ds1's and have actually had to make lots of ds2's up because I just can't remember sad

PodgeBod Wed 18-Oct-17 20:39:37

Georgie I was at baby group with someone who had triplets and a baby- 4 under 2! And I was run ragged with my 2.
Mine are 19m apart and i love it but I'm often exhausted to tears and I have lots of family support. It's definitely hard.

Needadvicetoleave Wed 18-Oct-17 20:39:41

I think it's bonkers, but I didn't have more than 5 hours sleep (total, certainly not together) in a single night until DS was 14 months!

I think it depends on the baby you have. DS is 22 months now, and love him as I do he's still a terrible sleeper and nothing in the world would convince me to have another. Due to my age that probably means he's an only, but rather that than me go insane.

Tiredmum100 Wed 18-Oct-17 20:46:41

22 months between my two boys. They fight at times but are best friends most of the time and in to the same toys etc. Recently stood waiting in the park to go on the zip wire together with their arms around each others shoulders. Like "we're bros" they're 4&5, melted my heart seeing them.

HaHaHmm Wed 18-Oct-17 20:51:50

unless things have changes since I had my now teenagers having 2 under 2 is totally normal and ime the most common age gap.

IME my friends have a small gap of either <24m or 4 years plus. Smaller gap only possible for those who could afford to have two in FT childcare or one parent SAH; if first was a decent sleeper; or if first birth was straightforward enough to leave no significant trauma or injury.

Let’s just say that none of those criteria applied to us and we have a gap of five years.

Ecureuil Wed 18-Oct-17 20:54:31

I think the cost of childcare prevents a lot of people from having small age gaps now. 2 in FT nursery is very very expensive. Most of my friends have waited until the morning eldest gets free hours at 3.
My second wasn’t exactly planned (I was still BF-ing DD1 and was on the pill!), otherwise we wouldn’t have chosen to have such a small gap. I’m a SAHM currently so thankfully not affected my childcare costs.

thiskittenbarks Wed 18-Oct-17 20:58:38

I'm currently pregnant with number 2 - they will be 16 months apart. When speaking to people about this I'd agree that our generation tend to think it's a big deal but for my parents generation it was pretty normal.
Baby 1 is a good sleeper and just all round really easy. So I do feel worried I may have a shock when number 2 comes!
I'm hoping they will be really close.
People seem to think that 3 years is the "ideal" age gap - but me and my brother are 3 years apart and we never played together as kids and now in our 30s we barely know each other. And of course many people start ttc with an intended age gap of 3 years, but it actually turns out to take a lot longer. I guess it depends on the kids and the parents.

georgie262 Wed 18-Oct-17 21:19:43

@PodgeBod wow! I can’t think of anything else to say. That would be some hard work but just think how amazing as well!

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