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To uninvite someone from baby shower

(33 Posts)
itsallbeige Wed 18-Oct-17 18:08:53

Here’s the back story. She is my manager and was one of my best friends. We was really close would see each other at work everyday and then spend an evening in the week together or at the weekend spend the day together whilst my DS and her DD played together. Anyway, we both come off contraception at the same time. I got pregnant first month (6 months ago) she’s still trying as far as know. Ever since i told her I was pregnant (twins) she has been nothing but horrible. She told me I’d probably end up on my own because me and partner went through a little rough patch when we first met and I’d be left on my own to raise the babies. She then text a mutual friend of ours saying it’s not even one baby it’s f two. I do understand how hard it must be because it took me a long time to conceive DS. I reviled that I would having two girls in the office at work and she just walked out an sat in a different office. Not once has she said congratulations. I had reduced movement and went to the hospital. As she’s my manager I had to text her to let her know what was going on and she said ‘oh so they’ve found IT, good stuff’. My baby shower is Sunday and I invited her not wanting to leave anyone out but now it’s getting closer I think it will be just awkward for the both of us. Sad thing is I really miss her and our friendship. I really want to enjoy this special day and this will probably be my last pregnancy.

florenceandthefig Wed 18-Oct-17 18:14:46

It sounds like she won't show to be honest

I wouldn't uninvite her because if she comes and is rude then she's only showing herself up.

LexieLulu Wed 18-Oct-17 18:14:59

I think you need to do the mature thing and speak to her before it happens. Maybe send an email if face to face talking isn't for you?

Explain how you miss her and you realise this must be rubbish for her. But explain it wasn't a race and you're not the winner. Say you've been upset by some of her comments (quote a few so she can't brush it off) and see what she responds.

windowOnTheThird Wed 18-Oct-17 18:18:44

Surely you should be concentrating on your 17th birthday party more than the baby shower?

UnicornSparkles1 Wed 18-Oct-17 18:20:48

Ha window, that made me snort

Awwlookatmybabyspider Wed 18-Oct-17 18:32:00

She's not once said "congratulations".
She doesn't have to say congratulations. Its not mandatory to jump up and down and do a Merry dance over someone's pregnancy.
She's obviously extremely hurt

JimLahey Wed 18-Oct-17 18:37:34

It's sad she may or may not be struggling at the moment but it's really not the op's fault. Considering they were good friends it's expected it's going to sting a little. How does that make the OP childish

LagunaBubbles Wed 18-Oct-17 18:39:34

Surely you should be concentrating on your 17th birthday party more than the baby shower?

Eh? confused

Bananalanacake Wed 18-Oct-17 18:43:50

Don't uninvite her. Just hope she won't turn up. Congratulations on your twins.

Anecdoche Wed 18-Oct-17 18:44:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyBrilliantDisguise Wed 18-Oct-17 18:45:14

Why did you say that, Window?

MaryPoppinsPenguins Wed 18-Oct-17 18:47:33

I don't get the 17th birthday thing

NancyDonahue Wed 18-Oct-17 18:47:59

Difficult one. She's obviously hurting deeply.

However, she's your manager at work so needs to be professional - the reply to your message obviously wasn't. It's not right if she's making you feel uncomfortable at work. You may need to speak with someone senior.

I wouldn't 'uninvite' her. I really don't think she'll turn up.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Wed 18-Oct-17 18:48:15


Yvetteballs Wed 18-Oct-17 18:48:22

If she's your boss, you won't want to rock the boat. Keep the invite open but don't stress if she doesn't turn up.

NoKidsTwoCats Wed 18-Oct-17 18:49:31

Sorry things have gone a bit rubbish with your friend. It sounds like she's really hurting and jealous - not that that makes her behaviour acceptable and it must be hurtful. Are you sure you haven't rubbed her face in it? Sorry if that seems harsh but if you're excited could you have upset her by talking about it lots.

Either way, I don't think you can invite her. You'll come off as the bad guy. I reckon she won't show anyway.

dustarr73 Wed 18-Oct-17 18:50:58

What's with the snarky 17th birthday remark.

Op leave the invitation standing, she might be a no show.But I'd just class her as your manager and not your friend.

Fitzsimmons Wed 18-Oct-17 18:51:10

Can't believe some of the comments on here. It took me a long time to get pregnant with DS, during which three of my closest friends became pregnant. Every time one announced their news it stung like hell, but every time I cheered for them, and was excited for them.

Your friend has been awful to you, but as she's your manager it could be very difficult if you uninvite her. However she will also probably be on her best behaviour around others. Can you ask someone else to run interference, I.e. Keep her distracted?

notquitegrownup2 Wed 18-Oct-17 18:52:16

Yy to Lexielulus email.

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername Wed 18-Oct-17 19:00:23

Window is the manager ?? !!!

KitKat1985 Wed 18-Oct-17 19:00:55

I'm confused by the17th birthday comment. Can someone explain?

Myheartbelongsto Wed 18-Oct-17 19:02:29

Is your manager window I wonder.....

Fucking hell op she is being a first class bitch!

I'd probably just hope that she won't turn up and I hope she doesn't so you have a great day.

TequilaLemonSalt Wed 18-Oct-17 19:03:52


NoKidsTwoCats Wed 18-Oct-17 19:05:13

KitKat1985 it took me a while but I think they're implying op is childish. Pretty harsh.

Alwayswaiting Wed 18-Oct-17 19:06:43

Yes I think window is insinuating this is childish behaviour

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