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Surestart sexism

(362 Posts)
LeCroissant Wed 18-Oct-17 16:24:33

I just got this sent to me by email from Surestart (identifying details blocked out).

When I was at surestart with my kids, a few years ago now, most sessions were, of course, attended by women. Chairs were deliberately kept sparse in order to force mothers to stand up and play with their children. No hot drinks were allowed. No unhealthy food was allowed. At all times we were to demonstrate what good parents we were by never taking our eyes off the children, no matter how tired we were. I once had to go home from the local surestart centre because the two chairs that were available were taken I had nowhere to sit to feed my newborn.

And yet, for the men's session (run at the weekend of course, because we know that men work during the week and women don't) there's coffee, bacon sandwiches and fucking newspapers!!! AIBU to think this is fucking ridiculous?

Lules Wed 18-Oct-17 16:29:14

Your surestart sounds very odd. Mine had plenty of seats and offers to hold the baby if I needed it. I think it's closed down though due to cuts sadly.

LeCroissant Wed 18-Oct-17 16:30:28

Did they provide bacon sandwiches, coffee and newspapers (and intellectual chat) Lules?

DearMrDilkington Wed 18-Oct-17 16:31:47

The ones near me are similar to this, for both mothers and fathers.

Aliveinwanderland Wed 18-Oct-17 16:31:59

What a terrible advert! For starters kids are goats, not children. And the comment about intellectual chat- as if women are incapable of it!

confusedlittleone Wed 18-Oct-17 16:32:25

Well for starters I'm guessing the age range of children included is why it's a weekend not because it's men.... and that's probably why they're more lenient on the hot drinks as well a 10yo is far less likely to grab a coffee cup out of curiosity then a 1yo is

CMOTDibbler Wed 18-Oct-17 16:32:48

When we moved where we live now, I looked into whether there were any groups I could take then toddler ds to so I could meet people (FT wfh job that came with me). There was a childrens centre session on a Saturday - but for dads only. And that had bacon sarnies too

WitchesHatRim Wed 18-Oct-17 16:33:27

The ones that were beat us had the same for mother's and fathers. There weren't 'extras' like that.

LeCroissant Wed 18-Oct-17 16:34:08

The age range is from 0-10 confused - some of the children there will be toddlers. Plus regardless of when it's actually on, they never offer coffee, bacon sandwiches and newspapers to mothers and female carers.

Lules Wed 18-Oct-17 16:35:50

There were lots of Muslim families so I don't think bacon sandwiches would have been appreciated! The intellectual chat is a very weird thing to put.

abbsisspartacus Wed 18-Oct-17 16:35:51

Sexist as hell why the fuck should they get a rest and everyone else can't

Hot drinks violate their h&s policy for a start and surely if men are at work all week they should be encouraged to play and interact with their own children

NewDaddie Wed 18-Oct-17 16:36:20

Maybe it’s because men are running this session?

Do you not like bacon or something?

RoboticSealpup Wed 18-Oct-17 16:36:29

My local church has a beer and steak thing for dads at the weekend. Mums get tea and biscuits. hmm

LeCroissant Wed 18-Oct-17 16:38:11

I'm sure their reasoning abbsis is that men don't want to spend time with their children so they have to be given an incentive to take the children out. Women who need an incentive to spend time with their children are monsters. And of course mums get to do housework a rest while the kids are out with the men.

LeCroissant Wed 18-Oct-17 16:38:44

Can you read NewDaddie? What about my post wasn't clear to you?

CherryChasingDotMuncher Wed 18-Oct-17 16:39:30

It depends who asked for it really. If dad’s lobbied and said ‘bacon butties please’, then YABU. It could be that your mum’s group was orchestrated by some anal lentil weaving loon. It sounds horrific. I had to sit for about 6 weeks post part in with DD due to injuries sustained in childbirth. I’d have been making the organiser get on her hands and knees and be my chair.

Just identify as a man and pop along. I’m very much into lumberjack shirts, I can post you one for the day grin

kaytee87 Wed 18-Oct-17 16:39:50

The local weekend baby/toddler groups aimed at men around here all have bacon rolls & catchy slogans grin I figure it’s just to encourage more men to actually attend.
I’m not sure what sure start is though? I’d have complained about the lack of seats if I were you.

Telstar99 Wed 18-Oct-17 16:40:33

Umm yeah it is a bit weird.

The Surestart session for women (mums) sounds utterly shit I have to say! confused

I wouldn't go.

LeCroissant Wed 18-Oct-17 16:40:51

Cherry, when I questioned why there were no hot drinks or chairs for the regular weekly sessions, I was told it was 'policy' - it's something the surestart centre implements themselves, not the mums.

kaytee87 Wed 18-Oct-17 16:41:30

I’d just find something else to go to tbh, it sounds shit

blackteasplease Wed 18-Oct-17 16:41:41

Does sound sexist if the women's session isn't equivalent, i.e. doesn't have to be exactly the same but equal.

LeCroissant Wed 18-Oct-17 16:41:59

Oh believe me Telstar, after the incident where there wasn't a seat to feed my newborn on (and I had to drag my screaming toddler away) I never went again!

Witsender Wed 18-Oct-17 16:42:01

Yeah, that's crap on so many levels.

blackteasplease Wed 18-Oct-17 16:42:27

Also agree with just identify as a man.

LeCroissant Wed 18-Oct-17 16:43:02

Surestart is a government run early years support thing.

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