My husband is a wonderful man, honestly, I couldn’t wish for better. He and his ex wife have equal share of the kids and this year it’s his ex wife’s turn to have the kids over Christmas. We live a bit of a distance from the kids so it’s a bit of a trek to get them, however, my husband has suggested we mini -break over Christmas and then have a second Christmas with the kids?
I like the idea of a second Christmas but won’t the poor kids feel abandoned? As we have done previously I’m happy to make the drive to the kids on Christmas Day so that we get to see them for a couple of hours?
My husband is a great dad I should say and they are teenagers now so not kids iyswim but still, they are like my babies.
Is this a case of cut the apron strings and let them be?
OP says 'as we have done previously' so I would assume ex wife is happy with this arrangement where the parent without the kids for Christmas can see them for a visit.
OP the children are teenagers, ask them how they feel. I suspect a second celebration on a different day would appeal to them then you and dh can enjoy Christmas away. It's lovely you are considering their feelings but I suspect they won't mind.
My SD is younger, but also lives a fair drive away, so DP and Ex have always taken turns with Christmas. The years we don't have her on the day, we do "second Christmas" when we do have her and she (and DD!) love it.
Aw, I don't think it's so much about the apron strings as it is about what works for everyone this year.
It may make a difference depending if they're young teenagers (say only just 13) or older teenagers (say 16-17). If they're still pretty young, then it may be more important to them than if they're older. I do doubt, however, they'd feel abandoned as such, because they do have their Christmas with the exw's family!
As PP have said, I would recommend just asking the kids what they want, and then - particularly - make sure that the exw's family don't mind you coming along into their Christmas. Of course I don't know about your DH and the exw's relationship or anything, but I can see how some people might not want to "share" their Christmas, if that makes sense.
Thanks for the responses I suppose I (probably selfishly) never e really thought I’d be intruding on their mums day with them, I’ve always asked permission previously and she’s always been fine with it but it’s probably better to do the second Christmas idea, that way it’s double the fun for the kids (although I’ll miss them terribly) and I get some winter sun yipeee! Now to worry about what to get them for Christmas.
Definitely going To check with the kids that they don’t mind us going away though, I’m sure they Won’t but better to be open and collaborative I think.