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AIBU?

To ask if I'm over-feeding my daughter?

106 replies

RogerThatOver · 17/10/2017 22:12

DD is 10 and her best friend is super skinny. Apparently some other 'friends' have been comparing them and referring to DD as her 'fat friend' Angry I spoke to her best friends mum about this in passing and she said something about perhaps it's because they see how much lunch DD has compared to them. When pressed, she said DDs lunch was 3x the side of everyone else's (she works as a dinner lady at their school.)

Today, DD had:

A wholemeal ham sandwich with two slices of bread
3 slices of cucumber
Carrot sticks
A Frube
Some chicken breast
Strawberries and grapes
4 x tuc crackers
A custard cream

Her friends mum said most children have sandwiches and crisps only so I can see how her lunch looks big, but it isn't unhealthy so I don't see the issue - or am I missing something? She was going straight to a netball tounament after school until 6 and only had a banana for breakfast so I think she would be starving if she only had a sandwich and crispsfor lunch. For dinner she had 4 meatballs, pasta, salad and a slice of garlic bread followed by pineapple and custard.

What do you think, is it too much for an active 10 year old?

OP posts:
MrTrebus · 17/10/2017 22:14

Tuc biscuits, custard creams and frubes are not really healthy. I reckon you could lose those and she'd still be fine in terms of feeling full up, just less sugar.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 17/10/2017 22:16

Ditch the biscuits and crackers and it's fine. No need for chicken and ham though?

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 17/10/2017 22:16

That does seem like a huge lunch for a 10year old, even an active one.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 17/10/2017 22:16

Can she have a separate snack for after school?

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 17/10/2017 22:17

I think kids should eat if they are hungry, as long as they are never forced to finish they will self regulate.

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 17/10/2017 22:17

My 8 and 12yos would only eat the ham sandwich (one would leave crusts), one portion of veg, the frube and a custard cream. I think you're giving a lot tbh.

Ummmmgogo · 17/10/2017 22:18

the only way to tell is to weigh and measure her. if her bmi is in the healthy range, she needs to tell these 'friends' to fuck off. if she is overweight she still needs to tell them to fuck off plus take a little less in her packed lunch.

Toomuchocolate · 17/10/2017 22:19

I'd have chicken or sandwich not both. Also custard cream and tic biscuits isn't necessary.

My dd will have a either half or whole sandwich, a piece of fruit, non sugary yoghurt, sometimes an extra like a plain cupcake or raisins or a plain biscuit.

Runningissimple · 17/10/2017 22:20

The lunch sounds fine. Is your daughter overweight? If not, I wouldn't worry.

Fruitcocktail6 · 17/10/2017 22:20

I think that lunch sounds really big. Why is she having a banana for breakfast? Or is this just one days example?

Justabadwife · 17/10/2017 22:20

Dd is 8
She has a ham sandwich (with the crusts cut off)
Yoghurt
Grapes
Cheesestring
Biscuit (because apparently dd was the only child ever not to be sent with a biscuit for lunch)

When your dd is off school does she eat a similar amount to what you are giving her at school?

AnonEvent · 17/10/2017 22:21

This sounds like a lunch to me:

A wholemeal ham sandwich with two slices of bread
3 slices of cucumber
Carrot sticks
Strawberries and grapes

And this sounds like another lunch (if you added some salad/pasta/rice):

Some chicken breast
4 x tuc crackers
A custard cream
A Frube

Of course portion sizes matter a lot, so it depends if 'strawberries and grape' is a handful or bowl full.

acornsandnuts · 17/10/2017 22:21

Actually that is quite a lot if carbohydrates in one hit. Also frubes are just sugar.

If she's hungry I would add more chicken or cheese. Drop the crackers.

DermotOLogical · 17/10/2017 22:21

Huge lunch, I'd struggle to eat it. Also tuc bics and custard creams are crap.

Katedotness1963 · 17/10/2017 22:22

I'd only make half of that for my teenage sons. They get a sandwich, bunch of veggie sticks and a piece of fruit.

SparklyLeprechaun · 17/10/2017 22:22

It is quite a big lunch, heavy in snacks. DS at almost 10 wouldn't be able to eat it all. Mine would have a sandwich, an yoghurt (or babybel) and a piece of fruit (or carrot sticks) and they might bring back some of it.

OlennasWimple · 17/10/2017 22:23

It looks like a mid-morning snack, lunch and after-school snack, not just a single meal.

DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 17/10/2017 22:26

That's a lot of food for lunch, does she eat it all? Can you do a separate snack for activities after school maybe?

Sandwich
Veg
Fruit
Frube, biscuit OR tuc would be better.

Remind her to drink water before her lunch to quench her thirst. She doesn't need chicken and a sandwich 2 portions each of fruit and veg in her lunch box imo

Tissunnyupnorth · 17/10/2017 22:26

I think that does seem a lot. My Dd (9 yrs) would eat a sandwich, cucumber and the fruit or maybe the biscuit. I don’t think your DD needs biscuits, crackers and bread, two types of meat, followed by two types of fruit, followed by two ‘desserts’. I think it’s a misnomer that if a child has a smaller meal, be it breakfast or lunch, then they should overeat at the next meal.

Maybe try to encourage a more filling breakfast, then cut out the sugary frubes and biscuits. And the tucs, which have no nutritional value whatsoever.

Witchend · 17/10/2017 22:26

Ds is 10yo and has a big appetite for his age and is pretty active.
He has in a packed lunch.
A jam sandwich (2 slices of bread)
1 packet of crisps he doesn't always eat.
1 piece of fruit (either a satsuma, a few grapes or a tomato)
1 cake
1 bottle of water

AuntLydia · 17/10/2017 22:28

Nobody should be mocking the poor kid for her size.

That lunch is a lot bigger than I give mine though - they would have had the sandwich, veg sticks, fruit and yogurt.

AuntLydia · 17/10/2017 22:29

I would possibly have added one extra thing if they were staying after school though..and I think the size of her lunchbox is a shit excuse for picking on her - there IS no excuse

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EsmeeMerlin · 17/10/2017 22:29

Sorry op, that is quite a big lunch for a 10 year old and some of it is just empty calories. They are not giving her any goodness or filling her up, so not a really healthy lunch.

Is she a healthy weight though? I wouldn't worry too much if she is classed as a healthy weight

arethereanyleftatall · 17/10/2017 22:32

That is a big lunch, but as it's covering two meals plus a snack after school (as she didn't have breakfast) it's Cumulatively ok.

I was scrolling down and got up to the frube, and was planning at that point to type Yanbu, but then there were 4 more items including 5 biscuits.

I think the key question is whether she's overweight.

waterrat · 17/10/2017 22:32

My 5 year old would eat that! Please dont oet her go hungry just because some children dont eat much lunch.

My Ds5 would be very gutted if I ever gave him a sandwich for lunch. He has a huge appetite and is very energetic.

I thini a sandwich and crisps is a pretty poor lunch tbh. Bit of chicken and veg to go with it is much healthier

I wouldn't give biscuits as well as yogurt though.

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