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To think DD is never going to learn to drive!?

(23 Posts)
dissantr Tue 17-Oct-17 21:58:05

DD has Asperger's and I just wanted to say this because I just know people will moan about her lack of independence.

DD is at her first year of uni and is local. She gets dropped off by me each morning. Last year she was learning to drive and stopped because she was in hospital for 2 weeks and after those 2 weeks the instructor said he didn't have any space! She left it a good few months and has just started up again, she has only gone and bloody broken her wrist. Pleaseeee helppppp

MrsOverTheRoad Tue 17-Oct-17 22:00:24

Can she get public transport or is that a no-no?

It's unfortunate about her wrist but it will heal and she;ll soon be back on the road to driving.

Mum2jenny Tue 17-Oct-17 22:01:19

Maybe a one week intensive course would be a good idea?

RavenLG Tue 17-Oct-17 22:02:42

Christ, she's just had a bit of bad luck. Being ill and a broken wrist doesn't me she will never learn to drive. I'm 30 and just thinking about starting to learn.

bridgetreilly Tue 17-Oct-17 22:05:51

I broke my wrist when I had booked my first driving test. It happens. There's nothing anyone can do about it. Book her some lessons for when she's healed.

Uselessname Tue 17-Oct-17 22:43:19

I'm 30 and don't drive (I ride a motorcycle before anyone has a go at me for needing lifts etc! grin)
Don't pressure her, it's not a huge deal if she doesn't drive. My mum pressured me when I learnt at 18, it had the opposite effect and put me off driving. I found the whole experience really traumatic. Give her time!

BlackForestCake Tue 17-Oct-17 22:44:20

Why on earth should she have to learn to drive? There are far too many cars on the roads already.

dissantr Tue 17-Oct-17 22:45:00

I can't drive her all her life and she can't do public transport right now so it is a major concern.

unfortunateevents Tue 17-Oct-17 22:48:46

Why can't she be on public transport now - because of her wrist or for some other reason?

dissantr Tue 17-Oct-17 22:49:41

She has autism, she finds it too difficult. I did post that at the start.

Aquamarine1029 Tue 17-Oct-17 22:53:02

I think you should work with her so she can use public transport. I find it somewhat alarming that you want her to operate a vehicle yet say she can't handle using public transport.

HeddaGarbled Tue 17-Oct-17 22:53:08

Disabled Students' Allowance might pay for taxis because she can't use public transport because of her disability. It's worth a try. The application form is on the Student Finance website.

unfortunateevents Tue 17-Oct-17 22:54:43

Actually you didn't specifically say that the reason she couldn't be on public transport was because of her autism, you said she couldn't do it right now, suggesting that she may be able to do it in future. If she won't manage public transport independently, do you think she is a good candidate for learning to drive? Just asking honestly because it could be very stressful, how did her instructor think she was doing previously? If you think she can drive, then presumably she should be able to start lessons again before Christmas so might be driving a few months after that. Can you drive her until then? But unfortunately you do have to factor in that she may fail the first time so you may easily end up driving her all year. That's the not the same as driving her around for the rest of her life though!

Ruhrpott Tue 17-Oct-17 22:58:12

My daughter has autism and passed her test after lots (and lots) of lessons. You can also put that she has special needs on the driving test application and it will be taken into account during the test. She has been driving four years now and has her own car.

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser Tue 17-Oct-17 23:00:04

Using public transport and driving are very different, and use different skills, I don't know why people are comparing the two! Plus with public transport you have the isues of crowds, which during rush hour are difficult for NT people, never mind someone with autism. I can completely imagine someone would be able to drive, but find public transport too much.

OP how did she get on with driving before she went into hospital?

dissantr Tue 17-Oct-17 23:01:21

@unfortunateevents I put it in the OP...

She's fine to drive? She's not with anyone when she is driving... She doesn't have to interact with anyone.

I wish people would understand autism -sigh-

People who have it, aren't incapable of working a vehicle or being able to actually use a bus, it's the people she may have to talk with, etc.

Her driving instructors thought she was doing very well.

WhyDidIEatThat Tue 17-Oct-17 23:02:22

I have a teen with an ASC, she’d find public transport (if we had Any around here) extremely difficult on her own but drives happily. They’re completely different things confused

Ttbb Tue 17-Oct-17 23:03:38

Why don't you supervise while she drives to school? Marmalade do great learner drivers insurance.

HeddaGarbled Tue 17-Oct-17 23:08:56

People with autism may struggle with public transport because of noise, smells, dealing with unpredictability (late or cancelled trains/buses), having to cope with other people, especially badly behaved people, including rude and unsympathetic staff.

Driving can be much much easier for some people with autism, though some may have more difficulty than neurotypical people with the anxiety around lessons, the test and, later, coping with unexpected hold ups and badly behaved other drivers etc.

Just a bit of information there for anyone who doesn't understand about autism.

deepestdarkestperu Wed 18-Oct-17 00:07:47

Can you teach her how to drive? Put her on your insurance and let her drive to school/town/tesco.

I had lessons and learnt in DP’s car in between. It really helped build my confidence and meant I could book my test quicker.

dissantr Wed 18-Oct-17 00:12:21

She does come out in the car, has done well but she now has a broken wrist, she wasn't that far off. Will 6 weeks really hold her back?

Thanks for people also explaining about autism smile

Keepthebloodynoisedown Wed 18-Oct-17 01:35:03

Agree with pp about looking at disabled students allowance if you haven't already. I received it while I was at uni and was entitled to taxis if I needed them. I got a lot of support.

Lunde Wed 18-Oct-17 01:56:27

My DD has Aspergers/ADHD and she struggled to learn to drive the conventional way via weekly lessons however she found a semi-intensive programme in the summer holidays suited her very well. She went approx 3 times per week over a period of 3-4 weeks and passed her test first time. It has made a huge difference.

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