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To want some friends to be like this with...

(15 Posts)
willywanging Tue 17-Oct-17 20:09:04

Saw this on Facebook and it’s kind of made me sad. I moved away from my home 7 years ago. I’ve made some friends but not proper friends that really ‘get me’. I can’t remember the last time I laughed until my stomach hurt. I do want that feeling again. Anyone else?

willywanging Tue 17-Oct-17 20:09:29

^ I so want that feeling again

MeatAndPotato Tue 17-Oct-17 20:19:58

I know exactly how you’re feeling. I lost my best friend a long time ago and I would kill to have her back even just for one more hour, it wouldn’t even have to be a full day. I miss her so much, I miss her everyday, all the time. I torture myself with feelings of regret, and wishes that I had appreciated her more and realised how special she was.

I have never made another friend. I don't know how to make friends (and trust me, it’s not through lack of trying and wishing), nobody “gets me” or seems to laugh at what I laugh at, or feel what I feel, or understands me really. I always feel like a fish out of water, struggling to connect and breathe.

I would love to belly laugh with a best friend and talk all night, dance and sing and be stupid together, with that feeling inside you while you are together - “you’re my person, you’re the sister I have never had, but always wanted”.

Need to stop now, finding this hard to write. Hope you make some real friends OP, the ones you couldn’t imagine life without.

Crunchymum Tue 17-Oct-17 20:25:08

Sorry but I couldn't get past the shit spelling and grammar of that meme.

It's a bit of a cliche as well.

Sorry you feel lonely but please don't let something like this make you feel bad.

willywanging Wed 18-Oct-17 07:11:20

@MeatAndPotato I’m so sorry. Your story gave me a lump in my throat. If you don’t mind me asking- what happened with you and your friend?

I would love a friend that I could just give a ‘look’ at in a room full of people and she’d know what I meant! I’d love to have a friend that wouldn’t give a shit if I was in my pjs at 1pm when she knocked on my door with no make up. I’d love to just have a friend where I didn’t have to ‘try’ to make conversation with and talk for hours on the phone.

I feel like I’m too old to make/meet a friend like that.

I just really, really want a belly laugh 😔

willywanging Wed 18-Oct-17 07:13:08

@Crunchymum Yes it is a cliche and a bit of a shit meme but it just got me thinking about how lonely I am. People just don’t seem to ‘get me’

Chairmancow Wed 18-Oct-17 12:15:57

I haven't had a friend like this for years! If at all. I think it's unusual to still have these types of friendships as an adult isn't it? Maybe I'm deluded.
I know what you mean about feeling lonely though. I have friends but I no one I could just allow to pop round unannounced and take me as they find me. It's a lonely lifestyle these days I think. Lots of people are just so tired and drained from the daily grind.

Oblomov17 Wed 18-Oct-17 12:35:21

I have this feeling.
Regularly.

I went with ds1's Under 14 football mum's to Majorca. 8 of us. They are all lovely. we ate, drank, did aqua aerobics. Laughed at the instructor, who looked liked the football'er Neymar. we laughed and giggled the whole time.

Then, this weekend, I went to Budapest with 4 of my closest friends. We see eachother all the time, because we all live within 2 minutes of eachother, for coffee, a chat, a moan, about dc etc. We laughed so much I had to tell them to stop, because my tummy was hurting.

If you are this sort of person, I think you can find these people. It takes a little bit of work, but not that much. I just love friendships. They are very important to me.

It definitely is achieveable.

NurseButtercup Wed 18-Oct-17 12:51:14

Awwww I'm that friend that brings this side out of people. I'm as daft as a brush and not afraid to let people see that I'm silly. Maybe you need to just "let go" around your new friends so they can see the real you??

Sadly for me, being busy and the daily grind doesn't allow enough time for me and friends to see each other very often. So I do miss being able to laugh like this. YANBU flowers

Oblomov17 Wed 18-Oct-17 15:06:45

How old are you OP?
And how old are your dc?
Maybe you’ll meet some mums in the playground.

But to be fair, like another poster says, I think I’m just like this and I’ve always been like this.

friendships are very important to me. I’m quite a difficult person, quite complex. but I do make a good friend. I talk about myself and my problems a lot, but I’m very receptive to other peoples - extremely sympathetic ,with a cup of tea,or a hug.

I like people to tell me all their deep dark secrets, yet I’m very good fun to go out with. just a bit of a giggle. I always want to go to a party.

so, that side of my personality makes me a good friend.
I’m also quite kind of silly and Minxy, and stupid and can talk about whoopee cushions and willies and you know just general things and also personal things.

I find sharing is a very important part of friendship.

Telling the truth, telling someone how you really feel, bonds you as a friends.

I have exactly the kind of friendship that you’re talking about with most of my close friends :

my best friend from uni ; my closest friend from school ; my mum ; and my three friends who live opposite; the football mums ; anyone I go out with any of the school mums .

I’ll listen to their problems, be sympathetic and also fun and silly. I’m like that with everyone.

I’m kind of sad to hear that you aren’t / or that you’ve moved away and now haven’t made any other friends.

how do you think you can rectify this?

MeatAndPotato Wed 18-Oct-17 18:15:10

Hi willywanging I’m sorry if my post upset you sad it upset me too writing it tbh! Sorry.

No I don’t mind, it’s ok. I need to come to terms with it and that starts with talking about it I think! She passed away 4 days before I gave birth to my DS. She commited suicide, it haunts me. Really haunts me. I feel so much regret it hurts, so muchsad

Yeah I get ya. My best friend was “that” friend. She knew me, and what I was thinking, better than I knew myself. Our bond was incredible.

Yeah i know what your saying, I crave that too, but I feel like even if I had another best friend in the future, (which I doubt would happen anyway), they would never replace her, ourr what we had. I miss her terribly.

Your not too old! It’s just difficult I think to find someone you feel like that with, and who you “allow in” to your heart and be like sisters with. I do think it’s easier when your younger though, purely due to lifestyle and other things.

I do too OP, it can get so lonely when your desperate for a best friend. I really hope you find one, or one finds you x flowers

MeatAndPotato Wed 18-Oct-17 18:17:21

Sorry SPaG mistakes in my PP, was upset again and not concentrating properly. That should of said or not ourr and you’re not your.

Opheliasgoldenwine Wed 18-Oct-17 18:37:13

I miss my friend so much, it was so hard 😭😭😭

MeatAndPotato Wed 18-Oct-17 18:48:23

Me too Ophelia, I felt that I had been robbed when she passed away.

pinyata Wed 18-Oct-17 19:41:29

YANBU

I have just had my first DD and my social group has reduced dramatically. I don’t have a best friend either and feel terribly lonely sometimes.

I have tried mother and baby classes but I didn’t really fit in. I found the mums to be quite snobby and one of the mums made a comment about DD having a hairband on hmm saying she looked like a chav

I would love to make friends but how do you do this as an adult ?

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