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AIBU?

Dad's new girlfriend

13 replies

Noobie123 · 17/10/2017 18:50

Long time lurker first time poster.
Eldest DS 10 has very recently met his birth dad after dad went AWOL after he was born. They have so far had 3 meet ups and has mostly been successful if a little bit forced. Next meet up due this week and DS dad has just asked whether he can bring his long term girlfriend along to meet DS.
I think this is far too soon but DS is fine with it as it means he can see his dad otherwise if we say no he may not.
Aibu to tell DS dad no?

OP posts:
crazycatlady5 · 17/10/2017 18:51

I think that’s way too soon to be honest. He needs to build a close relationship with his son before anyone else is introduced.

sayyouwill · 17/10/2017 18:53

It depends on how permanent his GF is I think. If he is essentially meeting a 'forever package' I don't think it's the worst idea. I certainly don't think it's the best however

MrsEight · 17/10/2017 18:53

I wouldn’t go down that road and start trying to dictate what he can and can’t do with his DS.

If you say no she’ll prob turn up anyway.

How much effort he puts in from now is up to him.

How does DS feel about it and is there any reason she shouldn’t be around kids?

Ifs difficult but pick your battles.

BringMeSunshinePlease · 17/10/2017 18:56

Is she new or long term? Your title and the content of your message aren't clear? If you're happy that your son is starting a relationship with his father then why do you have an issue if he's introducing his partner?

BitOfFun · 17/10/2017 18:56

If his dad was married, you'd expect them to be introduced in a matter of fact way early on, wouldn't you? If it's a serious long term relationship, I'd treat it the same way, I think.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/10/2017 19:42

If she is his long term partner, I really don't think you can say too much about it, and I don't think it's a hill worth dying on anyway. Also, it's possible that this woman might even help foster the relationship between your son and his father. Generally speaking, women are often better at communication, especially with children (obviously this isn't always true, but fairly often), so maybe she can help things along.

Ethylred · 17/10/2017 21:29

MYOB.

LoverOfCake · 17/10/2017 21:31

If she's a long term partner then I don't see the issue.

It's not as if he's having contact with his dad just after you've split or anything, his dad is as new in his life as she is. I would stay out of it.

WhatwouldAryado · 17/10/2017 21:33

Trust your instincts on this.

bastardkitty · 17/10/2017 21:34

I know you're probably trying to protect your son, but his dad is who he is and makes his own decisions and also his own mistakes. I wouldn't be pleased at all. But I wouldn't involve myself.

Amme1234 · 17/10/2017 21:51

I'd put my foot down and say no, he has ten years of his son's life to catch up on whereby he probably sees his partner daily. He needs to get to know his son and build up a relationship before throwing a third party into the mix.

Handsfull13 · 17/10/2017 22:13

I would tell him you won't say no but is he sure he wants to add someone else into the mix while he is still developing a relationship.
You've got to say your bit but left it his decision to make

Icanhearmynebioursshouting · 17/10/2017 23:39

I think it's stupid when they start asking this crap. I see it as concentrate on your child, build a relationship then introduce your girlfriend. Why rush? He's met him three times..is say no..then if he doesn't turn up or still brings her. It shows early on the computer disrespect

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