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Dad's new girlfriend

(14 Posts)
Noobie123 Tue 17-Oct-17 18:50:37

Long time lurker first time poster.
Eldest DS 10 has very recently met his birth dad after dad went AWOL after he was born. They have so far had 3 meet ups and has mostly been successful if a little bit forced. Next meet up due this week and DS dad has just asked whether he can bring his long term girlfriend along to meet DS.
I think this is far too soon but DS is fine with it as it means he can see his dad otherwise if we say no he may not.
Aibu to tell DS dad no?

crazycatlady5 Tue 17-Oct-17 18:51:44

I think that’s way too soon to be honest. He needs to build a close relationship with his son before anyone else is introduced.

sayyouwill Tue 17-Oct-17 18:53:08

It depends on how permanent his GF is I think. If he is essentially meeting a 'forever package' I don't think it's the worst idea. I certainly don't think it's the best however

MrsEight Tue 17-Oct-17 18:53:31

I wouldn’t go down that road and start trying to dictate what he can and can’t do with his DS.

If you say no she’ll prob turn up anyway.

How much effort he puts in from now is up to him.

How does DS feel about it and is there any reason she shouldn’t be around kids?

Ifs difficult but pick your battles.

BringMeSunshinePlease Tue 17-Oct-17 18:56:18

Is she new or long term? Your title and the content of your message aren't clear? If you're happy that your son is starting a relationship with his father then why do you have an issue if he's introducing his partner?

BitOfFun Tue 17-Oct-17 18:56:40

If his dad was married, you'd expect them to be introduced in a matter of fact way early on, wouldn't you? If it's a serious long term relationship, I'd treat it the same way, I think.

Aquamarine1029 Tue 17-Oct-17 19:42:27

If she is his long term partner, I really don't think you can say too much about it, and I don't think it's a hill worth dying on anyway. Also, it's possible that this woman might even help foster the relationship between your son and his father. Generally speaking, women are often better at communication, especially with children (obviously this isn't always true, but fairly often), so maybe she can help things along.

Ethylred Tue 17-Oct-17 21:29:11


LoverOfCake Tue 17-Oct-17 21:31:39

If she's a long term partner then I don't see the issue.

It's not as if he's having contact with his dad just after you've split or anything, his dad is as new in his life as she is. I would stay out of it.

WhatwouldAryado Tue 17-Oct-17 21:33:55

Trust your instincts on this.

bastardkitty Tue 17-Oct-17 21:34:04

I know you're probably trying to protect your son, but his dad is who he is and makes his own decisions and also his own mistakes. I wouldn't be pleased at all. But I wouldn't involve myself.

Amme1234 Tue 17-Oct-17 21:51:58

I'd put my foot down and say no, he has ten years of his son's life to catch up on whereby he probably sees his partner daily. He needs to get to know his son and build up a relationship before throwing a third party into the mix.

Handsfull13 Tue 17-Oct-17 22:13:22

I would tell him you won't say no but is he sure he wants to add someone else into the mix while he is still developing a relationship.
You've got to say your bit but left it his decision to make

Icanhearmynebioursshouting Tue 17-Oct-17 23:39:37

I think it's stupid when they start asking this crap. I see it as concentrate on your child, build a relationship then introduce your girlfriend. Why rush? He's met him three say no..then if he doesn't turn up or still brings her. It shows early on the computer disrespect

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