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Am I not being supportive?

(11 Posts)
Hisnamesblaine Tue 17-Oct-17 16:58:13

Bit of background..... myself age 40 and partner (dp) 38 rent a house 575 a month. we share with ds age 3. TTC at present without much luck. Time is not on my side. Dp is being made redundant end of the year so is busy looking for employment. I work 28 hours p/t evenings & weekends around his day shifts. To his credit he has spread the net far and looked into different fields..... sending c.vs out every evening. He had a interview for a position at a company were his uncle works and he put a good word in for him. Had the interview last fri and he been offered the job today. It's nothing he has done before (office based) he has worked in factorys/warehouses all his life. He s excited for the change. However this is were i may be being unreasonable. He starts on £8:00 a hour. He is currently paid over £12 per hour. I'm am frantic with worry. Having worked out his rota I am now unable to work evenings as i will need to be around in the afternoon to pick up ds from nursery which dp currently can do. So I will prob have to REDUCE my hours and only work weekends. Which means we will be like passing ships in the night. As it is I feel we don't have enough quality time as family let alone couple time. Also I am beyond worried we won't actually earn enough to pay bills for the month. I understand he wants to find something new and fresh after 20 odd years in the same type of role but i feel this is not the right time. I suppose we may be entitled to some tax credits. But even still it's terrible drop in money. For the record I despise my job but it's convenient and pays for the occasional week in a caravan in the holidays. All that will stop now in my opinion. We have majorly argued all weekend and can find no resolution. I just can not accept his decision. AIBU?

Hisnamesblaine Tue 17-Oct-17 16:58:57

Oh forgot to add. Frantically saving for there will be nothing at the end of the month to put towards that now

Percephone Tue 17-Oct-17 17:36:40

Your son will get 30 hours of childcare per week. Put him in nursery and work during the day.

Percephone Tue 17-Oct-17 17:38:50

Sorry just noticed he already goes to nursery. I think you will need to put him in for longer days so you can work. This might be the only job your partner gets offered.

Hisnamesblaine Tue 17-Oct-17 17:39:53

That will start in January. However in my current role I work evenings. The day shifts start at 7am. Ds will be starting nursery at 8:45.

nevereverever83 Tue 17-Oct-17 17:54:24

can't your partner drop him off at nursery before work?

maddening Tue 17-Oct-17 17:57:10

Can you also work while ds is at nursery?

Hisnamesblaine Tue 17-Oct-17 17:58:44

He will start at 8. But need to leave around 7:15 to get to work unfortunately. At. Th e minute he does 6am till 2pm gwtting him home in time for 2:45pm nursery pick up time. I normally start at 2pm and work till 8pm. So with him taking this job I need to be at home. I have asked my boss can I start later and haven't received a answer yet. Either way I'll be down on my hours.... and so will making making alot less money himself. It's a real worry

Allthewaves Tue 17-Oct-17 18:08:27

He has a job prospect now which he didn't have before. Find a dayacre or childminder for 30 free hours. Some open at 7am and close at 6 so wouldn't dh be able to do drop off and pick up. Then u could increase your hours.

Go on to entitled to and work out how much tax credits u could get - it may make up the difference

Hisnamesblaine Tue 17-Oct-17 18:34:17

See the thing is I want to stay in my current job as we want mortgage next year so to have of both start new jobs doesn't look good on our applications. Also we are TTC so if i go into a new job then not only would I be eating down a new.employer if I get pregnant soon but I also think it would mess up my maternity pay. I think the point I'm making is he went for the first job he could at vastly reduced pay. All because of his family connection.

Motoko Tue 17-Oct-17 23:34:14

No advice I'm afraid, but I do have a question. If he leaves his present job to start the new one, does that mean he misses out on redundancy pay?

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