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Breaking up with lazy bastard boyfriend

(86 Posts)
FatArseChair Tue 17-Oct-17 14:08:29

Hes 30 and still lives at home with his mum (who does everything for him). He comes to visit me every weekend. Friday night he turns up early and tell him I'm on my way out. He asks where even though he knows full well I go to karate on a Friday night. He said he'd come and watch. He then spends the 2 hours sat taking the piss. Instructor (reputation for being an absolute fucking maniac when riled) asks him what his problem is. DP says he thinks it's funny watching me fight. Instructor tells him never to under estimate a woman and suggests he take his shoes off and fights someone in the class if it's all so funny. DP refuses and says he wouldn't want to hurt anyone. Instructor laughs in his face. DP goes quiet then afterwards tells me instructor is a bell end and I should stop going. I tell him I wasn't entertaining that idea but told him he was a bastard for embarrassing me like that in front of my fellow club members. He says it over reacting. On the night instructor sends me a message saying he hoped I wasn't embarrassed by what had happened. He then adds "just thinking, you told me you wanted to lose weight, I can think of an excellent way you could lose 15 stone over night".

Anyway. Onwards to Saturday morning DP is still in bed snoring at 9am so I go off and do park run. Get home and he'd still in bed so I go swimming. 11.30 come home and he's still in bed but playing on his phone. He says "where have you been?? I haven't even had a coffee or any breakfast". I lose my shit and say "get off your fat fucking arse and make yourself some then". He snaps that I'm "bang out of order" and when he comes to see me I shouldn't fuck off out. I tell him that when he comes to see me he shouldn't be a lazy cunt and stay in bed all morning. He says he's entitled to a lie in when he works all week. I tell him to lie in at his own house then instead of stinking out my bedroom.

Saturday afternoon and he'd continuously nagging about food. On the night he orders himself a huge takeaway and sits there drinking beer and inhaling this shit food. I tell him I can't see a future as we're just too different. He accuses some me of having an affair with karate instructor (who happens to be 20 years older than me and married). Yesterday he text me asking what we're doing this weekend as he wants a lie in!!!! I text him back saying not to bother coming as I have karate Friday night, park run Saturday and gym Sunday and don't want to sit filling my body with alcohol and fat all weekend. He sent a message last night saying I have broken him. I'm fucking livid.

Monkeypuzzle32 Tue 17-Oct-17 14:11:25

How are you two even together? You don't have anything in common by the sounds of it!

babybubblescomingsoon Tue 17-Oct-17 14:12:56

What is your aibu? Just leave him. He sounds like a waste of space and he's making you miserable

MrsOverTheRoad Tue 17-Oct-17 14:13:02

You sound quite mean actually. Why were you ever with someone so different to you?

FatArseChair Tue 17-Oct-17 14:13:38

AIBU to have lost my shit and sworn like a fishwife at him all weekend

HollyBollyBooBoo Tue 17-Oct-17 14:13:55

You both sound awful in your own ways, the language and abuse towards each other is horrible.

Just ditch him, you'll both be better off.

MrsOverTheRoad Tue 17-Oct-17 14:15:03

"fishwife" hmm

Pollypudding Tue 17-Oct-17 14:15:14

YANBU as I could tell from your first sentence. He is a millstone round your neck and contributing nothing to the relationship. You are right to say there is no future in this!

Pouncival Tue 17-Oct-17 14:16:14

YANBU and you don't sound awful, he does

get rid

PinkHeart5914 Tue 17-Oct-17 14:17:14

Neither of you sound that nice tbh

It’s clear your not suited, end it, Ignore any communications and move on I think you’ll both find you are happier

StoatofDisarray Tue 17-Oct-17 14:18:18

Ditch him! And congrats on all the karate and exercise. Nothing wrong with swearing like a fishwife. Your instructor has the right idea. Get your life back, OP!

DrunkUnicorn Tue 17-Oct-17 14:19:25

Ugh no! You WBVU to stay in a relationship with him. Get rid!

PickAChew Tue 17-Oct-17 14:19:26

Incompatible doesn't even touch the surface. You're so different that you have no respect for each other.

And he sounds like a grade A dickhead.

Iwantamarshmallow Tue 17-Oct-17 14:21:03

get rid

Booboobooboo84 Tue 17-Oct-17 14:22:34

15 stone gone- problem solved and move on to someone who doesn’t expect you to wait on them hand and foot

SleepingStandingUp Tue 17-Oct-17 14:23:31

How long were you together and how?? Because you sound utterly incompatible unless this is a recent change in youabyway yaDNbu he sounds like an idiot.
He had to starve just because his mommygirlfriend want their do it for him??

TroelsLovesSquinkies Tue 17-Oct-17 14:25:46

He sounds like a nasty entitled twit and you sound like you are fed up.
Dump his arse and exercise as much as you like without him trying to stop you.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Tue 17-Oct-17 14:26:48

I don't necessarily think a relationship is doomed just because people are different - for example, dh is very active, and a 'morning' person, so at the weekends, he is up early, walks the dogs and does the ironing, whereas I tend to sleep late - I have depression and insomnia, and find getting out of bed very hard, so I appreciate a lie-in at the weekend. He votes conservative, and I tend to vote liberal, and was raised a socialist, so we have some cracking disagreements on politics.

Over the years, we have learned to accept each other's differences, and to compromise with each other - we appreciate what we have in common, and try not to fall out over the differences.

But that is not to say that what is right for dh and I, is right for everyone. If you need and want to be with someone who shares your passion for fitness, @FatArseChair, then you have every right to look for that person - and in the long run, it is not only better for you to be in a relationship with someone who shares your interests, it will also be better for your current partner - you both deserve to be with the right people, and it doesn't sound as if he is right for you or you for him. This doesn't mean either of you are wrong, or bad, just not right for each other.

MissConductUS Tue 17-Oct-17 14:31:47

No, YARBU. Stick a fork in it, it's done. He's just a man child, you're well rid of him.

safariboot Tue 17-Oct-17 14:31:58

YANBU. His behaviour at your karate class tells you all about his attitude to women.

viques Tue 17-Oct-17 14:34:54

God OP, you must hate his poor mother! Not only does she have to live with him during the week, but you have now buggered up her weekends too! Yes I know, she is reaping what she has sown, but I still feel sorry for her! It must be awful to have to look at the lump she has spawned 7 days a week, I expect she had high hopes that your active lifestyle would somehow rub off on him and he would transform without her having to put the transformation in place herself, but now she realises she is stuck with him for ever, he will get grosser and lazier as the years go on and she will eventually be worn down to a shadow.

Let this be a warning to indulgent mothers everywhere.


Travis1 Tue 17-Oct-17 14:35:07

Just tell him it's over, you clearly think very little of him and sounds like he just wants somewhere to park it.

CigarsofthePharoahs Tue 17-Oct-17 14:36:42

He has no respect for you and you have clearly run out of any for him.
Sounds dead in the water to me. Karate kick him to the kerb and walk away.

CruCru Tue 17-Oct-17 14:38:03

Realistically, this man does not meet your needs. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do different things but the time you spend together should be fun.

It's time to be matter of fact and say that you want different things. It does sound rather as though this is what you have done and he hasn't got the message.

AnnieAnoniMouse Tue 17-Oct-17 14:45:38

No YANBU to have screamed & sworn at him like a fisherman's wife.

What on earth do you/did you see in this bellend?

How long have you been seeing him?

What, if anything, do you have at his house?

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