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How fucking dare he **MNHQ warning at OP's request: distressing content**

(80 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

NaiceToMeetYou Tue 17-Oct-17 11:50:23

The 'metoo' thing has got me thinking about my own rape 19 years ago. Without going into detail, there were a few men involved, and after being assaulted I was urinated on. (Not by the rapist). I reported it. The cps decided to try each defendent separately, meaning their statements weren't allowed to be used in each other's trials.
The rape case was first and the defence lawyer made a big point of how I'd immediately got changed after the attack so as to lose any evidence. He knew it was because I was covered in piss and I wasn't allowed to say anything. It makes me so fucking angry that he manipulated things.

I was 14 years old btw. I know I'm not unreasonable.

bibliomania Tue 17-Oct-17 11:53:33

I'm sorry, Naice, that's absolutely heartbreaking.

OnNaturesCourse Tue 17-Oct-17 11:54:22

That's terrible.

Surely it could have been stated that you changed for reasons relating to another case that could not be discussed, therefore dismissing his statement? Perhaps not but just a thought. Xx,

NaiceToMeetYou Tue 17-Oct-17 11:57:36

Thank you. I don't know, I really wish I'd just blurted it out, I know the jury would have been told to discount it but they'd still know and maybe he wouldn't have been acquitted. But I was very young and just did as I was told.

AnaWinter Tue 17-Oct-17 11:58:48

I am so sorry that happened you. That is disgusting. I really believe you have to be missing a morality/empathy chip to be a defence lawyer particularly in cases like this. flowers

HeppyKestrel Tue 17-Oct-17 12:10:33

so sorry Naice flowers

MaggieMeldrum Tue 17-Oct-17 12:13:24

Please could you put a trigger warning in your title

KoalaD Tue 17-Oct-17 12:13:46

Jesus. That's appalling. Fourteen??

flowerscakebrew

pinkingshears Tue 17-Oct-17 12:18:06

So sorry OP.
I often wonder how people dont 'blurt out' stuff like that.
Because, as you did, they trust 'the system' and do what they are told.
flowers

whiskyowl Tue 17-Oct-17 12:19:00

I'm so sorry that you were let down so badly by the system in your hour of need. flowers

SlothMama Tue 17-Oct-17 12:19:13

That's awful, I hope you got justice flowers

user1495997773 Tue 17-Oct-17 12:19:56

So sorry Naice, that's awful flowers

innagazing Tue 17-Oct-17 12:20:33

I'm struggling to find the right word, but that's an appallingly awful experience.
flowers for you Naice

BastardGoDarkly Tue 17-Oct-17 12:20:47

That's a very fucked up way to go about a trial of that kind, its all relevant!?

I'm so sorry love, did they do any time?

GrandmaSuckingEggs Tue 17-Oct-17 12:22:17

pinking

^I often wonder how people dont 'blurt out' stuff like that.
Because, as you did, they trust 'the system' and do what they are told^

It'd be grounds for a mistrial and the OP would have no chance at all of justice.

Sorry this happened to you, OP.

NaiceToMeetYou Tue 17-Oct-17 12:23:50

I'm so sorry Maggie I will report it now.

Shockers Tue 17-Oct-17 12:24:44

That's heartbreaking; I'm not surprised you're still very distressed and angry. Was he convicted? Were the rest of them?

D'you know what- I'd be tempted to write to your MP about your experience. If those attackers were together, it absolutely makes a difference and that should've been part of the prosecution.

cakecakecheese Tue 17-Oct-17 12:24:51

Oh God I'm so sorry you went through that.

All the things going on at the moment must be stirring some horrible memories. Do you have a councellor/therapist?

NaiceToMeetYou Tue 17-Oct-17 12:26:50

Thanks everyone. I'm actually ok on the whole, just sometimes my memory is jogged and I get angry all over again. Unfortunately I didn't get justice, after his acquittal I didn't feel strong enough to go through the other trials so they were dropped.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 17-Oct-17 12:30:26

Oh OP I'm so sorry that this happened to you. No wonder you are angry and upset. What happened was horrific and barbaric.

CrackedEgg Tue 17-Oct-17 12:32:43

I have to say that a year ago I was hurt duty in the case of a rape. I have never been so upset in how the victim was treated. The defense team character assassinated her, they humiliated her and had her in tears with shame and frustration. She was in her 30s and this had happened 4 years previous. She clearly was a strong woman yet the constant attacking by the barrister reduced her to having to justify every single action and character trait. I was shocked and so upset having to watch her go through this. The accused just sat slumped on his bench looking half asleep and bored. On tv you see lawyers jumping up and doing the "objection your Honour, defense badgering the witness". Trust me, that doesn't happen in real life. I have nothing but admiration for any person putting themselves through this in the name of justice

NotJustThreeSmallWords Tue 17-Oct-17 12:33:07

I've found the whole thing triggering too OP. I'm struggling with it all.
I'm sorry for your experience and that this has been a trigger for you too.

CrackedEgg Tue 17-Oct-17 12:34:46

*jury duty....not hurt duty lol

DJBaggySmalls Tue 17-Oct-17 12:35:50

NaiceToMeetYou I'm so sorry they put you through this, and at 14.

This isnt justice. And I'd like to point out this is the new, improved system, it was even worse in the past. They used to be able to bring up your past sexual history as 'evidence'.

Crunchymum Tue 17-Oct-17 12:36:56

I'm ashamed of our judiciary system when I hear things like this.

You were just a child though, I can't believe you actually had to sit in court with your rapist? How fucking barbaric.

Rape laws need a serious reform, even now (as I understand things very gradually get better but Jesus!!)

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