NC as if she's on here she'll recognise this. I'll try to be brief!
I have a friend, we've been friends for around 10 years. She is Godmother to one of my DC. She struggled with infertility and eventually managed to have one DC when I had my 3rd DC - they are 4 months apart so we shared the pregnancy and it was really great, plenty of meet ups etc. She went back to work while i am a SAHM but we still saw plenty of each other.
4 years later i go on to have DC4. I knew she had been trying for another since her DC1 was born but it hadn't happened and she'd had a few miscarriages in this time so i knew this would be hard for her. I told her that we were going to start ttc to give her some time to get her head around it.
I fell pg very quickly and when i saw her when i was about 6 weeks she asked me outright if i was pg yet so I told her yes, but early days and not to tell anyone else (we dont share our news with anyone pre-12 weeks normally and i made the exception for her). Obviously it was hard, we still met up through my pregnancy and i made sure not to talk about it, if she asked i kept it short 'all ticking along fine thanks, now tell me about XYZ' etc. I had a horrific pregnancy, in and out of hospital, in agony and i never uttered a word to her as i knew she would do anything to have another.
DC4 is born, again i made an exception for her and told her what week it would be (planned c/s) so she had time to deal with it. and then I dont hear from her for weeks. I understood, i know it must be so hard for her. She comes to see us when DC4 is around 4 months old. She seemed ok but distant.
DC4 is now 18months and i havent seen her again.
In fairness she has also taken on a massive promotion at work, is very involved with lots of charity/church things and has moved house so now about an hour away so i could be reading far to much into this but i really feel that DC4 has killed our friendship and i feel so sad!
Her FB is full of the things she does, all very happy, lots of friends visiting her new place, great stuff going on for her at work and i'm dying to hear all about it and see her but the texts i've sent over the last year have been brushed off/ignored.
I feel so sad that i've lost a good friend, and sad for my DC that has lost their godmother from their life. and basically i really miss my friend!
Of course it could be nothing to do with the above and maybe she just is really busy but its a heck of a co-incidence that it started after DC4 was born. She is now highly unlikely to be able to have another DC of her own.
So should i just accept that she doesn't want to or cant be friends with me anymore? or do i send one more text asking how things are going and seeing if she'd like to meet up?
Sorry its long!!
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AIBU?
To let this friendship go? Or offer one last olive branch?
36 replies
RoundLikeARecordBaby · 17/10/2017 09:54
OP posts:
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