I'm not sure what to do about this situation. I have a 6 week old who was born with a life threatening complication, had surgery at 1 week old and was in intensive care on a ventilator, so I couldn't hold her, for 3 weeks, she came home at 4 weeks. I have a 2 year old I didn't see much during that time. Plus in the last trimester of my pregnancy my Dad died. I now desperately feel the need to regroup as a family and to have some time and space to ourselves. My MiL has been visiting from overseas and has said she will get lodgings here in our city to be around to help. My husband told her yes, though I am unsure. It's a nice offer but I find her extremely difficult for reasons too numerous to list here. I feel drained and depressed in her presence at the moment, and relieved and much happier when she's not there. She says she is happy to do her own thing when not helping - she's v independent and not sociable and says she has no friends back at home so doesn't mind doing her own thing here. But she has a key to our house and the reality is we will see a lot of her. Also, I don't want the help. My 2 year old is at nursery 3x a week, and my mum has said she'll help one day a week. I feel that is fine. I don't know what I can reasonably too. There's my sanity in question, also what my husband wants - he feels anxious that we might need. My toddler doesn't love being with MiL and just says he wants us at the moment. He's happy at nursery, though.
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