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Would you go?

(32 Posts)
MrsWineasaurus Tue 17-Oct-17 08:21:54

Sorry if this turns into an essay, it’s a long story.

Right, so MIL is getting married later on this year, the most bridezilla woman you’ve ever met. I was meant to be bridesmaid. MIL insisted on getting her bridesmaids dresses from China. I’m a big girl size 18. Dress didn’t fit now I’m no longer bridesmaid (fine by me).

She still wants me to stay with her and the other bridesmaid the night before and in the morning whilst they’re getting ready. Hair make up etc. (Which I’m not having). She told DH she got the bridesmaid presents, including me, but doesn’t want to give them as she doesn’t want to feel like she’s rubbing it in my face. Tbh I think the staying at the hotel and watching them all get ready is rubbing it in my face.

Aibu not to stay the night before and make my way down in the morning?

bluebell34567 Tue 17-Oct-17 08:25:33

go and be with them. otherwise she will talk about how you didn't attend, at every occasion.

Pickleypickles Tue 17-Oct-17 08:26:07

Maybe she invited you so you dont feel excluded rather than to rub your face in it?
She sounds like a bitch for saying you cant be bridesmaid instead of getting the dress altered but maybe its a backwards way of making up for that?
Dont go if you dont want to, jusy explain you dont want to watch everyone get ready when you cant join in.

FAkenameforthis Tue 17-Oct-17 08:27:54

It sounds like she wants to include you...but you’re acting like you don’t care about it and don’t want to be included.

Shylo Tue 17-Oct-17 08:28:44

I wouldn't go - you're either a bridesmaid or you're not and if you're not why be there? ...... and I wouldn't care if she chatted crap about me for evermore. Who bins a bridesmaid because they've ordered the wrong size dress?!!

Peachyking000 Tue 17-Oct-17 09:16:45

I wouldn't go, especially if you're not a bridesmaid. I would much prefer to sleep in my own house and get ready/travel to the wedding with DH

MrsWineasaurus Tue 17-Oct-17 09:19:35

DH has been told he’s walking down the aisle and DS is page boy. Both DH and DS are meant to be staying with the groom.

Got told to lose weight to fit in the dress, I guess I just think it’s ironic she doesn’t want to give the presents but wants me to stay and watch them all get ready. Yet doesn’t want to rub it in my face. Just to picture it for you she originally had 5 bridesmaids now only one left. hmm

Merida83 Tue 17-Oct-17 09:50:15


I agree making you stay with tgem abd watch them all get ready etc is more rubbing your face in it than giving token gifts.

I agree with your thinking of not staying with them. You should Have a nice peaceful relaxing evening to yourself if your DH and DS are with the groom. Pretty sure that would be more fun than with bridezilla MIL the night befire her wedding!

Mumsthewordssshhh Tue 17-Oct-17 09:59:27

DH must know his mother best. What does he think you should do? Is MIL suggesting that if you lose enough weight she’d have you as bridesmaid again? And is the dress sizes the reason she lost all other bridesmaids too? On a balance of things I’d Probably suck it up and let her have her day how she wants it.

DunkMeInTomatoSoup Tue 17-Oct-17 10:00:55

Im going to - but bridesmaids, at her age? >rolls eyes<

MadMags Tue 17-Oct-17 10:04:32

So if she's down to one bridesmaid, is she wanting all ex-bridesmaids to stay or just you?

Did you plan on trying to fit into the dress??

PandorasXbox Tue 17-Oct-17 10:05:11

Why aren’t you a bridesmaid now?

MadMags Tue 17-Oct-17 10:05:26

but bridesmaids, at her age? >rolls eyes<

How old is she?! confused

MrsWineasaurus Tue 17-Oct-17 10:23:42

She’s in her late 40s. I am the only ex-bridesmaid she wants to stay. The others aren’t even going to the wedding. Not all to do with the dress. One of the others was dropped for being too depressed, others for not making an effort.

The dress didn’t fit when it arrived, I could understand if it fit and then I put weight on!

MrsWineasaurus Tue 17-Oct-17 10:25:18


DH doesn’t want to go, doesn’t have the best relationship with her.** Was told he was walking her down the aisle, not asked.** Got suit in a size smaller as it looks better even though DH not comfortable.**

Tbh can’t wait for it all to be over.**

MrsWineasaurus Tue 17-Oct-17 10:25:40

Bold malfunction sorry!

amicissimma Tue 17-Oct-17 10:30:03

If you want to go, then do, but it doesn't sound much fun to me.

I think I'd let it slide until shortly before the day (too late for you to change your arrangements), then say cheerily that you think you'll just be in the way when they'll be busy, so you've made arrangements to get yourself groomed/hairdressed/nails done (whatever) elsewhere and you'll really enjoy the surprise of seeing how lovely they all look when you get there.

MadMags Tue 17-Oct-17 10:34:00

Well, he doesn't have to go and walk down the aisle any more than you have to stay the night before!

Perhaps it's time to stand up to her!

Zaphodsotherhead Tue 17-Oct-17 10:46:22

How the hell did she manage to order your bridesmaid dress too small?! I bought my wedding dress from China and had to send off pretty detailed measurements that they requested. So maybe she ordered your dress too small on purpose?

MrsWineasaurus Tue 17-Oct-17 10:51:28

She didn’t send off measurements just went with sizing. My wedding dress was a 16 and fit perfect yet an 18 in the bridesmaid dress didn’t fit. I even bought 1 size up out of my own money and that was too small. Didn’t even fit my mate who’s a 14.

diddl Tue 17-Oct-17 10:57:25

"I am the only ex-bridesmaid she wants to stay."

There's more than one ex bridemaid???

Do tell!!

I wouldn't go-then she can happily hand out the pressies without a second thought.

MrsWineasaurus Tue 17-Oct-17 11:02:19

There were originally 5 bridesmaids diddl. One got thrown out because she was depressed, another because she didn’t make the effort and me for being too fat grin not sure why the other one isn’t there now.

PhuntSox Tue 17-Oct-17 11:06:00

I would stay home with a box set and take-away and have a lovely time, be a great memory for you!

Why is your son going to a grooms evening, is it a stag night type thing or child friendly?

MrsWineasaurus Tue 17-Oct-17 11:07:22

Groom didn’t want a stag do. They’re just staying in hotel night before as wedding is around 2hrs away from where we all live x

RosieBucket Tue 17-Oct-17 11:07:58

Well, he doesn't have to go and walk down the aisle any more than you have to stay the night before!

It seems mean-spirited not to do so. If he doesn't have a good relationship with his mother, this is hardly going to improve things.

Once again, on a mil thread, I'd like to hear the other side of the story.
I'm not a mother-in-law so I have no axe to grind, but I can often imagine things from the other perspective.

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