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I don't want to take my two yet old abroad?

(51 Posts)
Icanhearmynebioursshouting Tue 17-Oct-17 00:30:19

I just don't feel safe she is only two would be three when we would go but mil wants us to take her to Dubai with her and fil. But I'm scared, not just Dubai anywhere Tenerife extent aibu

Itsanofromme Tue 17-Oct-17 00:30:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Birdsgottafly Tue 17-Oct-17 00:32:17

There's no need to take her anywhere, as such, especially if it isn't a holiday is full of activities that she would enjoy.

What are you scared of, though?

Icanhearmynebioursshouting Tue 17-Oct-17 00:36:18

It's stupid but if she is kidnapped , it's something I stress with so much. We would be in a strange country with people I can't communicate with and its all just sending me crazy. They have different laws. They see things differently. I'm getting told she isn't going to have a life. But she does she has an amazing one. I just done feel right taking her abroad while she can hardly speak

BradleyPooper Tue 17-Oct-17 00:39:02

We took dd1 to Dubai when she was 12 months old. We needed some winter sun, had lived there before, knew it was safe, warm, low risk of food poisoning, no language barrier, no malaria etc and had great medical facilities. She had a great time in the sea and pool, playing in the sand etc.

It’s your choice and you should stick with your instincts but make an educated decision. What’s scaring you?

Icanhearmynebioursshouting Tue 17-Oct-17 00:42:26

God I feel stupid now I've written it down but thinking about it makes me feel sick

TheFaerieQueene Tue 17-Oct-17 00:45:42

My parents took me to Yugoslavia when I was as a couple of months old 52 years ago. It was fine. I’m sure your two year old will be fine too.

UsernameTaken2 Tue 17-Oct-17 00:48:43

She is your baby, you get to decide what happens to her and where she goes. For what it's worth we took our baby with us on holiday to Dubai when he was 6 months old. We all loved it.
Personally I don't think the risk of your baby being kidnapped whilst on holiday is any higher than if you went on holiday to Cornwall.
When we went our baby never left our sight. Unless they were with my parents in law

We took it in turns to take him into the pool or play with him whilst the other one slept or went for a walk/ read a book.

UsernameTaken2 Tue 17-Oct-17 00:49:53

*unless he was with parents in law. Bloody phone

BarbarianMum Tue 17-Oct-17 00:49:55

Whatdoes your dh think? Does he want to go. Being so afraid of takig yourchild anywhere abroad is quite extreme and the reasons you cite aren't just going to disappear are they? Its not like you'd feel any better about her being kidnapped when she's 6, or would suddenly be able to speak a foreign language then. And if you couldn't communicate with the locals due to language (unlikely that no one will speak English but still) what difference does it make if shecan speak or not?

Skyatdawn99 Tue 17-Oct-17 00:52:40

My baby had been half way around the world by the time she was 3.
You will be with her. I wouldn't worry.

Orangebird69 Tue 17-Oct-17 01:01:43

I've lived in saudi with my ds since he was 6 weeks old. You'll be fine.

AnnieAnoniMouse Tue 17-Oct-17 01:10:15

I've travelled all over, but these days I wouldn't go to Dubai, and there's no way in hell I'd be taking a child there. I don't care what anyone thinks.

Your in laws are rude & out if line. 'She hasn't got a life'. She's 2 ffs.

BarbarianMum Tue 17-Oct-17 01:13:02

OP said its not just Dubai though (I'd not fancy that either) but anywhere abroad.

PerspicaciaTick Tue 17-Oct-17 01:17:05

So stay home. DD doesn't need to go abroad (she is young enough to be able to get loads of new experiences closer to home) and you don't want to go.

PopTheDragon Tue 17-Oct-17 01:20:11

I'm the same at the moment op. If it's just me and DP then I don't mind where or when we go but I point blank refuse to take dd1 abroad. My main fear is some kind of terrorist attack, I'd be worried sick the whole time thinking how we could escape with her or keep her quiet if hiding.

Yes I sound daft but while she's so young I don't see the need to put ourselves in that position currently.

blanklook Tue 17-Oct-17 01:45:49

If it's stressing you that much, don't go.

Who can remember "fabulous holidays" they had when they were 3?

Nowadays it's different, someone was telling me they have a private online account for their child and it's full of everything they've ever done so the child can look at it and "remember" their early years, she called it a "creating memories" account.
Maybe your MIL just wants to "create memories" like that. It's not really for your dd's benefit, though, is it?

If you're not comfortable with the destination or being somewhere you feel out of your depth, don't go. It's just maternal concern a lot of mums would share with you as she's so young.

Lagerthaisfabulous Tue 17-Oct-17 05:27:22

Whats your dhs opinion?

While i dont think you should be forced to go, i do think it may be worth tackling this issue.

I cant see that she is more likely to be kidnapped in another country than here.

Do you go out where you live?

TakeMe2Insanity Tue 17-Oct-17 05:55:31

This really is about your fears and ultimately how they will impact your child's life. Terrorism/kidnapping could unfortunately happen anywhere at any time. You need to address this before she is old enough to understand the impact.

Veterinari Tue 17-Oct-17 06:00:27

Your fears are understandable but irrational. She’s no more at risk abroad than here.
In fact driving or crossing the road in the UK is probably more risky. You probably need to try and make informed decisions rather than be driven by irrational fear

FenellaMaxwellsPony Tue 17-Oct-17 06:02:54

The vast, vast majority of child kidnaps are perpetuated by people known to the family so it's really not something that would be increased by a holiday. Do you suffer from anxiety generally?

JoandMax Tue 17-Oct-17 06:09:53

Well she's doesn't need to go abroad but it is nice to be able to go on holiday and explore the world as they get older.

Are you very anxious in general? It does seem quite an extreme viewpoint on something which is a normal activity.

In terms of Dubai everybody speaks English, medical care is great and it's very family friendly.

It is understandable though, we live abroad (in the Middle East) and I felt a bit nervous in Paris and London this summer. But it didn't stop me going with my DC and was definitely worth it!

Icanhearmynebioursshouting Tue 17-Oct-17 23:11:36

Hi do is very understanding, we get out a lot where we live. I allow her nursery teachers to take her on little trips. Maybe because I've only went abroad once I'm panicking, dp has traveled a lot when he was younger. I think it's a mix of terrism, kidnapping, myself being inexperienced..feeling down about it though

FenellaMaxwellsPony Wed 18-Oct-17 07:24:40

You've only been abroad once? Ok, in that case, as gently as possible, I think you really need to go. If you don't make an effort now when your own DD is small, fast forward 15-20 years and perhaps she'll be needlessly afraid, just like you.

Statistically: cows kill more people than terrorists, the majority of kidnappings are carried out by people the child knows, and you are not going to be less inexperienced by refusing to travel. And if not now, when? You say you don't want her going abroad yet, but you've only ever been once, so when did you think you would want her to travel?

WhatwouldAryado Wed 18-Oct-17 07:34:49

Your fears are irrational. But YANBU to avoid a big journey for now. Small steps and building your confidence would be a plan.

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