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To trust 18 yo DD with knowing all my bank details?

(38 Posts)
Greese Mon 16-Oct-17 23:26:37

My friends seem horrified by this and that they couldn't trust their child to have it? confused AIBU to think it's terrible that they can't trust their child? Surely, if your child is an average young adult, you'd have nothing to worry about? AIBU?

AnathemaPulsifer Mon 16-Oct-17 23:27:51

If you mean your PIN, nobody should know that!

BadLad Mon 16-Oct-17 23:28:32

I think that's mad, myself.

Greese Mon 16-Oct-17 23:28:55

Yes, my pin, my PayPal details, etc.
I have no issue with her knowing though, how's it different to a DP knowing?

Greese Mon 16-Oct-17 23:29:16

Why do you think it's mad? Do you think your child will steal off of you?

QueuetoaskaQ Mon 16-Oct-17 23:30:39

Why does your 18yo need to have this information?

TurquoiseChevrotain Mon 16-Oct-17 23:31:08

Omg, OP. It's funny you say this. I've been talking about this to my mum grin we laugh. I'm 18 and know absolutely every detail under the sun, her savings account passwords, her pin, PayPal, everything. She thinks it's really sad that people would trust their child to not steal off of them and that that's the issue. I'd never steal from my mum shock people thing young adults are incapable of being 'normal'.

Greese Mon 16-Oct-17 23:31:52

Well if she is picking me up some stuff from the shop, it's easier for her to just pay on my card (it's on her Apple Pay) etc.

MyBrilliantDisguise Mon 16-Oct-17 23:32:09

My kids know my pin and my passwords for emails and Spotify etc but not for my bank account. I trust them absolutely but I wouldn't give anybody access to my bank account!

Nandoshoes Mon 16-Oct-17 23:33:04

I know everything of my mums always have since I was about 11.

I don't blame some people for nothing sharing however it is sad. I'd hope I could trust my mom with my life and vice versa.

Anyways g2g there's a sale at john Lewis and my mums credit card expires tomorrow.

QueuetoaskaQ Mon 16-Oct-17 23:33:04

I wouldn't be worried about them stealing off me. I'd be worried about them being too trusting and relaying the information to a friend.

I think it's important to set an example that these types of details are not to be shared with anyone. I can't think of any reason why they would need to be shared. If you wanted to give your daughter money, send it via bank transfer and she can withdraw it from her own account. Have her set up her own PayPal etc.

BadLad Mon 16-Oct-17 23:33:49

I don't have any children, but I think the fewer people who know this kind of stuff, the better. I wouldn't necessarily think my child was going to steal from me, but they would be one more person who might get careless with security, for example. I think a much better idea is to open an emergency account for your child and get them a cashcard for it.

TurquoiseChevrotain Mon 16-Oct-17 23:34:35

Do you think we're stupid? Why would I tell a friend? I'm a grown adult and know what info you can and can't give out grin OP, it is bizarre.

Migraleve Mon 16-Oct-17 23:36:32

DD16 knows mine. I often ask her to transfer money between my accounts when I’m driving etc, as she is always with phone I hand. Pin no also, if she goes to the shop for me or needs money out for something it’s much easier for me to say ‘take my bank card’ than it is to go myself! If she goes away I always give her one of my debit cards as a back up in case she loses hers (usually one in bag one in suitcase type thing)

I trust her implicitly.

shouldnthavesaid Mon 16-Oct-17 23:37:09

I've known my mum's passwords since I was 10 or 11, PIN number etc , and regularly check her bank account when she asks me to. I'm her carer though as well as daughter so maybe that's more OK? It would never occur to me to steal anything.

hawleybits Mon 16-Oct-17 23:39:05

Both mine know my PIN, they are 16 and 18. I've often allowed them to withdraw cash from my bank. I don't have trust issues and they would never presume to take more than the agreed amount.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Mon 16-Oct-17 23:39:07

DS1 & DS2 both know mine too.

Neither would dare to steal from me - besides which, I don’t actually keep cash in my current account. I just transfer the right amount in for what I need each time. So if I ask a DC to get £10 out for something, there’ll only be £10 available.

The rest is kept in a linked savings account & has been since some jolly fraudster helped themselves to some of my £s a couple of years back.

QueuetoaskaQ Mon 16-Oct-17 23:43:26

Nope not stupid. But naive.

If I knew my mum's pin and had access to her bank card when I was 18, and out for a few drinks with friends, i'd have had no qualms with passing it over to my friend and asking him/her to nip over the road to lift another tenner for the next round.

If I knew my mum was so relaxed about her banking security, I'd likely adopt the same lax attitude.

Howyoualldoworkme Mon 16-Oct-17 23:44:36

My mother trusted my nephew with her bank card to get some shopping when she had flu.
He stole over £700 from her and is totally unrepentant! My sister is being worse than useless over it too.
Don't do it. Even if you trust them suppose their friends put pressure on them? sad

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Mon 16-Oct-17 23:45:04

What you are doing is role modelling that sharing a PIN and details is ok - and it isn't.

My DP of 20 years doesn't know my PIN and I don't know his. No-one knows my pin.

TurquoiseChevrotain Mon 16-Oct-17 23:46:02

@QueuetoaskaQ wow, if you'd do that to your mum, then words cannot even describe.....

Friends put pressure on me? grin they'd be getting fuck all.

BenLui Mon 16-Oct-17 23:50:31

If there is fraud committed on your account one of the very first questions they ask is who else knows your PIN.

Telling your teenager your PIN or password information puts them at risk of being under suspicion and investigation.

It’s not a matter of trust, it’s just basic security. My DH and I have total financial transparency and joint accounts. We still don’t know each other’s PINs.

ErrolTheDragon Mon 16-Oct-17 23:52:20

Mine doesn't know any of our details, but when she turned 18 recently DH and I got round to doing mutual POA with her as reserve - if anything happened to us I know we could trust her to be sensible and responsible.

Migraleve Mon 16-Oct-17 23:54:46

Even if you trust them suppose their friends put pressure on them?

How on earth would my DDs friends know if she nipped to the shop/bank with my card? Seriously people add so many arms and legs onto simple scenarios!

She isn’t going to FaceTime them all and give her a walk through of her movements complete with pin entry on cash machine confused

PerspicaciaTick Mon 16-Oct-17 23:56:33

It is stupid to share your details - not because your DD isn't trustworthy but because, should you be unlucky enough to be hacked, it might be the difference between the bank refunding you and them telling you that you broke their terms and conditions by sharing your details.

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