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Conversations with the men in your life RE: Sexism?

(12 Posts)
LostinLSpace Mon 16-Oct-17 21:58:47

In light of (not so) recent events I have been having some discussions with some of the men in my life about sexism, violence towards women and the ingrained social constructs that perpetuate gender discrimination etc etc...

Well it didn't go well let's just say, and I am frankly to smacked at the minimising, but what about insert random injustice, NAM, oh but some women insert misogynistic statement, I've never seen/experienced that (no really?!), defensive stances and been told I'm "campaigning" at them - well yeah I kinda am a bit...

Has anyone else had better luck? Could do with some help educating these "nice, not like that myself" men - and myself tbh, education hopefully leading to tangible change.

LostinLSpace Mon 16-Oct-17 22:00:12

Arg! Stupid tablet! *Gobsmacked

LostinLSpace Mon 16-Oct-17 23:03:08

Bumping sorry!
Posted here for traffic, really hoping fo tips on how to deal with this and help educate the people around me

TitaniasCloset Mon 16-Oct-17 23:03:55

I speak to one of my exes about the trans issue and how it affects w

TitaniasCloset Mon 16-Oct-17 23:07:01

Oh for fucks sakes.

Yes I talk to one of my exes about how the trans issue will affect women and he is very open to that and agrees completely. He is happy to watch some of the YouTube videos I have shown him.

Otherwise I avoid these conversations with men for the reasons you have given.

LittleLionMansMummy Mon 16-Oct-17 23:21:25

Dh usually sits there very quietly with a pensive and sympathetic look on his face. I think it's only because he's scared shitless of the repercussions if he challenges me in any way though.

Seriously, I think he 'gets it' as much as I could expect him to, as a man. I don't think he ever thought about the issues before we met and had two children together - one of each sex. But he has the good grace to indulge me now.

I did get rather het up with him once regarding the issue of rape and his claim that 'many' women make false reports. He's the kindest, most sensitive, emotionally intelligent man I know so this somewhat floored me.

ErrolTheDragon Mon 16-Oct-17 23:32:55

My DH thinks he's totally non-sexist, and genuinely wants to be, so responds quite well to being challenged. Its a cliche but having a daughter has been a practical education and having discussions about sexism with her present (she's 18 now) is good!

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake Mon 16-Oct-17 23:34:43

I find this, totally, the minimising and reluctance to accept that this is an actual problem. I have dealt with it by bringing it up again and again, and using stats to support my arguments, and staying calm. Also pointing out when famous men do speak out about feminism and talking about good they look as a result! I think repetition and facts are key. A lot of people have been brainwashed to think of feminism as a scary word and talking about it often helps to un demonise it.

BroomstickOfLove Mon 16-Oct-17 23:40:58

I posted on social media. One male friend has responded with an honest account of ways he has been shit in the past, stuff he learned, and stuff he now tries to do to challenge other men.

My dad, who would describe himself as s feminist, responded with a 'what about the men?" comment which missed the point quite impressively.

MrsEight Mon 16-Oct-17 23:43:39

TBF my OH can be a tweet.

But I think he admires my increasing feminism. Esp as he has two girls and maybe sees me thinking the world should be an equal place for them as a good thing for them to see.

MrsEight Mon 16-Oct-17 23:43:50


AuroraBora Mon 16-Oct-17 23:47:29

I think some men struggle to understand the scale of it all. My DH has had a chat about trans issues and the effects on women's with me, and we are very much on the same page. Yet he still will bring up women making false rape allegations when we have conversations about sexual assault/harassment like it's more prolific than actual rape cases.

I guess it's like anyone understanding an issue that doesn't affect them. How can they really see how bad it actually is until they stop and listen? I don't think it makes them bad people, just ignorant.

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