In light of (not so) recent events I have been having some discussions with some of the men in my life about sexism, violence towards women and the ingrained social constructs that perpetuate gender discrimination etc etc...
Well it didn't go well let's just say, and I am frankly to smacked at the minimising, but what about insert random injustice, NAM, oh but some women insert misogynistic statement, I've never seen/experienced that (no really?!), defensive stances and been told I'm "campaigning" at them - well yeah I kinda am a bit...
Has anyone else had better luck? Could do with some help educating these "nice, not like that myself" men - and myself tbh, education hopefully leading to tangible change.
Dh usually sits there very quietly with a pensive and sympathetic look on his face. I think it's only because he's scared shitless of the repercussions if he challenges me in any way though.
Seriously, I think he 'gets it' as much as I could expect him to, as a man. I don't think he ever thought about the issues before we met and had two children together - one of each sex. But he has the good grace to indulge me now.
I did get rather het up with him once regarding the issue of rape and his claim that 'many' women make false reports. He's the kindest, most sensitive, emotionally intelligent man I know so this somewhat floored me.
My DH thinks he's totally non-sexist, and genuinely wants to be, so responds quite well to being challenged. Its a cliche but having a daughter has been a practical education and having discussions about sexism with her present (she's 18 now) is good!
I find this, totally, the minimising and reluctance to accept that this is an actual problem. I have dealt with it by bringing it up again and again, and using stats to support my arguments, and staying calm. Also pointing out when famous men do speak out about feminism and talking about good they look as a result! I think repetition and facts are key. A lot of people have been brainwashed to think of feminism as a scary word and talking about it often helps to un demonise it.
I think some men struggle to understand the scale of it all. My DH has had a chat about trans issues and the effects on women's with me, and we are very much on the same page. Yet he still will bring up women making false rape allegations when we have conversations about sexual assault/harassment like it's more prolific than actual rape cases.
I guess it's like anyone understanding an issue that doesn't affect them. How can they really see how bad it actually is until they stop and listen? I don't think it makes them bad people, just ignorant.