To think 37 isn't 'young'?

[Oakshollie]

Have been having counselling - was trying to talk and explain my fears.

The counsellor kept saying 'but you are so young.'

AIBU to think 37 really isn't young?

[crunchtime]

i am 45
i wish with all my heart i was still 37
in the great scheme of things, yes 37 is young

[Oakshollie]

Well yes, in the grand scheme of things 55 is young too

But it really is not the first flush of youth and in terms of marrying, children, career ... it's not young really!

[Arrowfanatic]

I'm 37 in a month. I feel old!!

[Flomper]

seems.still quite young to me. you've still got time to have a child/change career/find a new partner/take up a new sport/get fit etc etc

that all changes in 40s, 50s which is whatbshe means i think.

[InigoTaran]

It’s all relative really, I’m 52 and to me 37 is young, one day you’ll look back and realise it was! Are you comparing yourself to others who are seemingly further ahead in their life than you?

[ReasonableLlama]

Depends what you are comparing it to. To have a baby and get married you wouldn’t exactly be young, but on the flip side you are too young to claim your pension.

In terms of career you won’t be the youngest in the workplace but if you want to retrain it’s young enough since you still have 30-odd years until retirement which is probably twice as long as you have been working already.

I always felt 21 was over the hill, then I got to 25 and thought 21 was young and 25 was getting past it. Then I thought 30 was ancient and so on and so on. I’ve learnt to just go with the flow and not dwell on my age. It’s just a number.

[Fairylea]

I’m 37 and I still feel young. I don’t feel much different to when I did when I was 25ish... except I now have two dc and a dh as well I still wear young fashion type stuff, listen to things my dd aged 14 listens to and use social media a lot etc etc. Sometimes I do catch sight of myself though and do a double take. I think in my head I think I still look 18

I think since people are living longer all the time now we have stopped seeing mid 30s onwards as middle aged in the same way we did 20 years ago.

[HildaOgdensFlyingDucks]

Does it have to be? I got married at 34, will be 36 when I have my first child and 38 when I qualify to start my new career. I am/was able to do all those things at those ages. The concept of youth doesn't come in to it.

[Papafran]

Yes, it's young. What you feel might be different but it's not even half of your life. You won't realise this until you are about 60 of course and then you will laugh at yourself for thinking that you thought 37 was old. Just as I laugh at how I thought that I would have my life sorted by 24 and that 30 was way over the hill and there was no point to life after that. But we will always right now be the oldest we have ever been so to us our current age feels old. Relatively speaking though, that's not so true.

[Witsender]

Don't know really, I feel young at 36. I know that I'm approaching middle age when I think about it, but feel no different to my 20ies.

[Oakshollie]

It's strange as I consider it very close to if not actually being past it in terms of families.

[Fairylea]

Are you coming at this from an infertility point of view?

[Oakshollie]

Partly but general life too.

I mean, some of the girls I went to school with have children who left school this summer.

[scrabbler3]

Depends on the context. It's young for a prime minster or a high court judge or a grandparent. Old for a first-time bride or a junior doctor or a model.

[Floralnomad]

It is young , but not very young . I'm 51 and I still feel young I really have no idea how I can have a 24 yo son when I'm not that old myself .

[Sofabitch]

I feel young at 35.

[ALemonyPea]

I’m 37 next month. I feel old when I’m standing in the schoolnyard talking to other mums in their early 20s. I’m trying to think of something that makes me feel young, maybe the fact I don’t like Per Una?

[OnionShite]

Depends. What are your fears? If it's fear of marriage or giving birth, that would be an odd response. If it's fear that you're a fuck up because you've not made CEO yet, less so.

[DeadGood]

Well, what were you talking to the therapist about? If you were expressing fears that you will never have children, or you are worried about what will happen when you retire, or about becoming old and infirm, then yes. Your therapist will consider you young to be worried about that sort of thing.

It does sound as though you come from a background in which women marry and have children young. This is skewing your perception. If your therapist lives, for example, in leafy west London, then she will consider you rather odd if you're saying you think you're past it for having a family! Couples around there have barely even started thinking about it at your age.

[SpuriouserAndSpuriouser]

Old for a junior doctor

OP it's all relative, but by most measures you are still young.

[Oakshollie]

Fears of not having children, a career, or a family. Being a failure basically.

[tofollowtheclouds]

I'm 38 and lost my partner very recently and my nan not long before but I would still class myself as fairly young.
Yes I am no longer in the prime of my youth and have a lot more to consider than when I was in my 20's (I have no children) but o would still say I am young and have many more options than if I was say 60.
I am still young enough to change career completely if I do desired, although it is far far too soon for me to think about another relationship I know that if/when I am ready I could still get married and have a full marriage if that is what I wanted.

So in answer to your question 38 is still pretty young

[Oakshollie]

If your grandmother died recently she must have been pretty elderly, though.

Sorry to hear of your losses.

[AppalachianWalzing]

I think it depends on your peer group.

I spent my twenties travelling, studying, doing intern/'young professional' type roles. Early/mid thirties is the time most of my friends have started to settle down, get married, buy houses, have babies.

so 37 is at most a couple of years behind that curve, and I think most people have that idea of 'young newlyweds' 'young parents' even if you're not especially young. I think once you hit your 40s is the point where it gets harder, though not impossible, to do all the meeting someone, having kids, etc etc. But I do know people get married in their twenties and follow a totally different path. However I would say while I do feel an adult now I'm in my mid thirties, I definitely don't feel old or past it or like I've hit the point where my age is limiting opportunities rather than providing me with more experience that is actually helpful.