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To be annoyed that DH always gets a "aww" when he says he's a SAHD?

(22 Posts)
streeplack Mon 16-Oct-17 13:52:26

It's a piss take. Comments he has received this week from various baby groups. This week:
"Aww, that's lovely"
"Aww, what happened to her mum?"
"Aww, that's even nicer as she's your daughter!"

Piss take really.

AIBU?

MrsEight Mon 16-Oct-17 13:54:44

No - is the same with single dads isn’t it?

It’s expected of us mums hmm

streeplack Mon 16-Oct-17 13:59:04

So true, if a person on the TV goes "I'm a single dad" everyone in the room goes "aww" when it's a single mum, they make assumptions about her. Awful.

confusedandemployed Mon 16-Oct-17 14:01:01

Really? ExDH was a SAHD. He didn't get that at all. How patronising.

LongWavyHair Mon 16-Oct-17 14:30:24

I don't get what's aww about it.

"Aww, that's even nicer as she's your daughter"
This I'm very confused about ^ confused What do they mean by that?

streeplack Mon 16-Oct-17 14:32:56

They seem to think it's even sweeter that she is a girl and they're going to have a lovely "daddy-daughter" relationship hmm

Flyingflipflop Mon 16-Oct-17 14:33:23

In three years of being a SAHD I've never had that response.

Plenty of pats on the back for my wife at how she is being looked after though.

ButDoYouAvocado Mon 16-Oct-17 14:33:35

My DH isnt a SAHD but works part time and does school run, cooks meals etc. Im often told 'oh hes very good isnt he?'

JonSnowsWife Mon 16-Oct-17 14:35:51

YNBU.

Pisses me off too.

"oh your Ex has the kids this weekend (first weekend off in bloody months) , isn't that kind?".

Of what? For a Parent to actually look after his own kids? No one ever says I'm kind for doing the school run 2x a day.

InDubiousBattle Mon 16-Oct-17 14:36:53

I'm quite surprised that he has had that response tbh, especially the 'what happened to her mum?' comment.

streeplack Mon 16-Oct-17 14:37:03

Soooo true! "He's good, isn't he?" Because he's changing a nappy unprompted.

@Flyingflipflop never thought of that side of it tbh.

KoalaD Mon 16-Oct-17 14:38:22

How ridiculous. What's 'awww' about it, he's her bloody parent!

JonSnowsWife Mon 16-Oct-17 14:40:58

There was a couple of SAHDs at DCs old school that always got maximum respect.

Like it was so unseemly to be seen with a pram and changing a nappy as a member of the male species.

LongWavyHair Mon 16-Oct-17 14:42:16

They seem to think it's even sweeter that she is a girl and they're going to have a lovely "daddy-daughter" relationship

Oh ffs hmm How is that any lovelier than any other parent-child relationship? Some people are weird.

JonSnowsWife Mon 16-Oct-17 14:48:08

We've had it too. DD is a proper little daddy's girl. In the sense she can wrap him round her little finger.

Or the most bizarre one his best mate looking on agog as he got up to change DSs nappy unprompted. That was my job apparently hmm

MuseumOfCurry Mon 16-Oct-17 14:51:28

It's terribly patronising, but probably born of the relative scarcity of SAHDs and not really knowing what to say.

blackheartsgirl Mon 16-Oct-17 15:17:44

Dp does the school run every day as he’s on nights , I’m at work and he is off 3 days in the week. I know he’s not sahd but everyone thinks he is because I’m never there

Oh they all think he’s marvellous hmm. One mum even commented that I was taking the piss out of him by never doing the school run and i should be grateful for what he does .

Silly bitch

Louiselouie0890 Mon 16-Oct-17 15:22:02

I work part time when OH has kids first thing people say is wheres mum. Complete strangers, like my OH possibly can't have kids without mum around lol maybe he's hanging in the wrong places he's never had women say aww that's nice lol

Areyoufree Mon 16-Oct-17 15:31:09

Both my husband and I work. I always get comments about how good it is that he often does the cooking, or how lucky I am that he helps out around the house. I hate the different expectations for men and women.

wobblywonderwoman Mon 16-Oct-17 15:34:00

My dh always does the school run and a lot of the stuff in the day - never had this comment.

I have had comments at work that I am lucky - it is ridiculous in this day and age

UnbornMortificado Mon 16-Oct-17 15:35:38

My DH had to take DS by himself to get his jabs the other week as DD had an appointment somewhere else.

He had the nurses dressing and undressing him (DS not DH!) for him, telling him how wonderful he was.

The HV went on like he was the second coming because he was changing a nappy when she came out.

I always get told how brilliant he is for taking on DD from a previous relationship.

I mean he's lovely and everything but he's just a normal dad/stepdad.

Andrewofgg Mon 16-Oct-17 16:22:49

YANBU but don't take it out on him. He's not to blame for the foolish reaction of other people.

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