So I've spent the last 8 months on mat leave with my first child about whom I am embarrassingly PFB. We've struggled with breastfeeding but persisted and she doesn't take expressed milk; she's very wary of strangers and cries hysterically if anyone but me or OH picks her up; she feeds to sleep, and wakes up every hour to two hours in the night. She doesn't seem like my friends' babies and never has - she's always seemed very intense and extremely persistent if denied what she wants (basically me to always be within arm's reach).
After getting past the bewilderment of having her be so much needier than I expected, I've kind of gone with it - I get very little done as always on my knees playing with her, we co-sleep half the night, I feed on demand. I haven't been away from her longer than an hour since she was born. Along the way I've picked up a lot if attachment parenting theory, and felt quite validated in my parenting decisions by that.
I will have to go back to work in 3 months. And my partner is fed up with things still being so intense and wants me to start sleep training, night weaning and getting her on a bottle so we can go out together in the evenings. So basically I'm going to have to start denying her all the instant responsiveness and comfort she's used to. She's still not ready.
I feel like an idiot that I did not seeing this coming, and just introduce bottle, own bed, sleep training etc when she was tiny so she'd be broken to it early. Having worked so hard to foster a secure attachment between us, I now have to set about wilfully breaking it. I also feel like noone in my life thinks I'm a good mother as everything I do us apparently wrong and needs to stop.
I feel like shit, and like I've made so many mistakes, and am anxious going to have to traumatise my baby because I've given her unrealistic expectations.
AIBU to feel like whatever I do now I'll be failing her?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To feel like the last 8 months were a silly waste of time? (IABU, I know I am...)
59 replies
lelapaletute · 15/10/2017 22:22
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.