Fingers and rings after divorce.

[ferriswheel]

Disclaimer - I know this will make me sound like a crazy insecure lady that's because I am.

Also, I'm separated for a year with very young children so I know I am far, far from ready for a new relationship. But...

I LOVED my wedding ring, and wearing a ring on my wedding ring finger.

Firstly, do you think wearing a ring on this finger jinxes the possibility of a future relationship? Please don't take the piss.

Secondly, what kind of rings can I wear that don't look childish? My wedding band seemed so grown up.I really miss it.

[MrsPestilence]

Pull up your big girl pants, sell the wedding ring and buy yourself a ring to go on the other hand.

Yes it will be an emotional wrench but this is the beginning of the rest of your life.

[TheFormidableMrsC]

I sold my wedding and engagement rings and indeed my ex-husband's wedding ring as I desperately needed the money at the time. It broke my heart. I went ringless for a long time. I was then given a Pandora ring as a gift and added to the stack over time. I wear them on my middle finger. I do still go to fiddle my wedding ring that is no longer there but somehow don't feel right wearing a ring on my wedding finger. I have got used to it and my new rings are gorgeous and eyecatching. I agree with MrsP, go and buy yourself something lovely to mark your new beginning

[KurriKurri]

I wear rings on my right ring finger now, or sometimes I wear one on middle finger, one on right ring.

You can get some nice simple gold rings (or silver) that have a minimal design on them so are clearly not wedding bands. That's the kind of thing I go for.

I know what you mean though - my XH bought me a beautiful eternity ring for our 25th anniversary (five years before he buggered off with someone else - not sure he quite understood the menaing of eternity ) and I loved the ring but haven;t worn it since. Have wondered about getting it and my wedding and engagement rings melted down and made into a new ring.

[Phillipa12]

kurri i did just that, well i exchanged my wedding/eternity and engagement rings for a ring i designed which i now wear with my deceased mums wedding ring on my right hand ring finger.

[TrollTheRespawnJeremy]

Ah it's no big deal. Wear what you want.

[Rainybo]

I’m another one that bought myself a new ring and I wear it on my right hand ring finger.

I wear my deceased nan’s engagement ring on my left ring finger.

[friendshipfloss]

I had this dilemma & so missed having no wedding ring after so many years. After the first year had passed - which was a very difficult time for me - I bought myself a ring I loved & I wear it between my ring finger & the third finger on my right hand. I swap it between the two as the mood takes me.

I have worn it every day since & it was my celebration to myself of surviving that first horrible year. I was just lucky to find the right ring one day when I wasn’t really looking. It does not resemble an engagement/wedding ring in any way. It wasn’t particularly expensive. It reminds me every day of how strong I am & how I will never let another man treat me in the way my ex husband did.

I agonised over what to do with my wedding ring & eternity rings. I had them valued but in the end had the eternity ring broken down & used the stones to make a stunning necklace & earrings for my daughter. The wedding ring was left with the jeweller & he took the scrap value off the bill.

I understand what you are saying regarding the sentiment of the eternity ring being ruined when your husband leaves for the OW but I thought it made a beautiful piece of jewellery for my daughter. It symbolises to me the eternal love I have for her and it just felt like the right thing to do.

It took me 2 years to sort all this out and come to these decisions. It was a very big deal and I feel very happy that I did the right thing for me.

[Ilovetolurk]

Firstly, do you think wearing a ring on this finger jinxes the possibility of a future relationship?

Possibly not the best advertisement

[ferriswheel]

Friendship floss

You sound like me.

[Justanothernameonthepage]

Well yes, wearing a ring on your wedding finger will effect your chance of a decent relationship. Decent blokes will assume you're married/not over your ex and steer clear. Blokes happy with cheating will assume you are cheating and not wanting a serious relationship.

[mineofuselessinformation]

There are some awful assumptions here.
Fwiw, I bought myself a 'divorce ring' - a lovely cocktail ring made of gold in a modern design. I wear it on my left ring finger when I feel like it.
I don't give a shiny shit whether or not people judge me because of it.

[BobbinThreadbare123]

I sold my first engagement and wedding ring set. It took me a while to get rid, actually.

I took them off the day my XH walked out. I took to wearing the most outrageously chunky rings on that finger, including some cool acrylic ones.

I am happily remarried and have a new pair of wedding rings. I actually sometime miss the chunky plastic ones though, as they don't fit comfortably on my right hand.

[friendshipfloss]

I felt that if someone made the assumption that I wasn’t single just because of a ring on a finger then they are a bit shallow anyway! If someone showed a definite interest then they would wish to engage me in conversation and find out more about me.

It was more positive for me to touch a ring on my ring finger that I felt empowered me, rather than subconsciously reaching for a wedding ring that wasn’t there and then remembering all the angst that represented.

I hope you manage to come to a decision about your rings Ferris, and take your time to work out what feels right.

[FrankiesKnuckle]

A friend had her wedding and engagement rings melted down and designed into something else, a Phoenix from the flames as it were.

[ferriswheel]

This is a very helpful thread. Thank you.

Cocktail rings, off to look them up. Any other ring recommendations?

[Auldspinster]

I've never been married and wear dress rings on my left hand ring finger if I feel like it.

[sooperdooper]

I reckon wear what you want on whatever finger you want! I never wear my wedding ring these days, I dislike wearing two rings on one finger and prefer my engagement ring, I also wear my great grandmothers engagement ring on my right hand

I couldn't care less whether people assume whatever they want to about my relationship status based on what jewellery I wear :)

[JaceLancs]

I carried on wearing all my rings because I like jewellery!
It never stopped me having a relationship - next long term relationship didn’t want to get engaged as we didn’t plan on getting married so suggested a commitment ring instead - I wore that on ring finger and moved the others to my right hand where I wear them still

[SansaClegane]

Slightly OT but where do you sell your rings? Just go to a high street jewellers?

I've just put mine away for now, feels a bit weird sometimes as I was in the habit of fiddling with them, but I haven't really thought about what to do with them. Divorce isn't final yet but I quite like the idea of selling them and treating myself to something nice when it's all over!

[NarcsBegone]

I have always worn a ring on my wedding finger. When I was young I was given a ring that was very precious to me and wore it there as I was being slightly dramatic and sentimental. When I got engaged and married I wore those and had the other ring cut off and later combined it with the eternity ring exh got me when ds was born. I sold engagement and both our wedding rings because of no money but kept the eternity ring as it signifies ds and wear that on my wedding finger. I have no intention of ever removing or replacing or adding to that ring and so it will remain.

[TheFormidableMrsC]

Sans, I went round a few, local jewellers who were advertising buying jewellery before I found a lovely female run one who could see I was distressed, actually tried to talk me out of it, but literally desperate times. I am sure she gave me more than was due, but the money saved me for a month and I got some treats for the kids. I miss my rings though, they were important, I loved them. However, there seemed to me to be no point in keeping things that were given to me by somebody who wanted to be with somebody else.

[LadyWire]

I wear rings on my little fingers, ring fingers and middle fingers of both hands. Never been married. When I met DP funnily enough he didn't immediately clock my left ring finger and flounce out assuming I was "taken."

As an aside, my left hand is silver and my right is gold. All my rings mean something to me, including my late DM's and DGM's wedding rings. I wear a ring that DP bought me on my left middle finger and the ring on my left ring finger is a plain silver band that my DD bought for me.

[LenaLoveWitch]

After my divorce I had my 5 diamond ring made into 3 diamond pendants and a pair of earrings- I gave my mother and sister who supported me so much a necklace and earrings gave and wear the two other chains (different lengths) myself

[BobbinThreadbare123]

I sold mine on eBay. I got nearly double for them compared to selling to a jeweller or a smith. They would only offer me the platinum weight value! Ignored the diamond completely.