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AIBU to not tell a gift buyer if I decide after plenty of use to sell on or give away said gift?

(11 Posts)
QuackPorridgeBacon Sun 15-Oct-17 16:39:48

Basically that. If my child has been given a present for birthday etc do I need to tell the person who gave the gift if I give it away to charity or choose to sell it on cheap if it’s a bigger item that is no longer useable by the child? Because apparently I should and honestly I’m getting sick of it, as soon as I post a picture of my child using said item that person jumps on the comments within minutes sometimes even seconds to say they bought it. Is it just me or is that odd?

I don’t always mention who got something as that’s not the purpose for the picture, the picture is just taken as it looks lovely and the gift happens to be in the picture. Apparently I should name this particular person (because tagging isn’t enough) and it all feels pathetic really. Would be nice to see what others think. This person is my mum if that makes a difference.

Just to add, within minutes of putting something up I will get a message saying that they see I am selling/giving away the item. My kids have so much stuff and I am clearing out things they don’t use or are too big for ready for Christmas coming.

KenBarlow Sun 15-Oct-17 16:45:51

I just sell them in secret through eBay etc or take them to the charity shop instead.
Sometimes I keep them in the wardrobe to regift if DS takes no interest.

I always feel bad but my house is small and I have to clear it out often!

MrsHathaway Sun 15-Oct-17 16:47:43

I think it's now customary for a FB photo of a child with a new toy or outfit to have a comment on it such as "loves his new trampoline, thanks Grandma!" Obviously that's on top of thanking them for it more conventionally. Nobody else will even read be bothered by the note.

Personally I give away old gifts and would only consider selling something I'd bought. But I'm not short of money so I don't know if I'd act differently if we were scrabbling for the rent, etc. And in any case, once it's yours it isn't her business.

Quibble: assuming that the proceeds of selling baby stuff go to buying the next stage stuff, rather than a night out. One might reasonably consider that it belongs to the baby, not the parents.

RainbowsAndCrystals Sun 15-Oct-17 16:48:47

Are you posting these photos on Facebook? Just sell somewhere else if you are.

MrsExpo Sun 15-Oct-17 16:48:48

No, not U at all. If someone gives an item to you (or your DCs) then you/they own it and can do whatever they like with it. I think your mother is just looking to be constantly re-affirmed as "generous granny" so thinks you should post "Here's Tommy riding the rocking horse/driving the toy car that granny gave him", rather than just saying "Here's Tommy driving his car" I'm assuming it's something quite large and she was suitably thanked for the gift. Just ignore her .... and get rid of the horse/car as you think fit.

Allthewaves Sun 15-Oct-17 16:51:10

I don't sell on gifts. I either give them to charity or pass them on to someone who I know will appreciate it.

QuackPorridgeBacon Sun 15-Oct-17 17:08:18

It’s a car, we’ve had it for two years maybe longer now and she was thanked along with a picture saying it was from her, along with her then commenting how good she is 🙄 it’s tiring. The money will go on either what’s needed (I don’t sell them for the purpose of needing money although sometimes the uninformed is good if I’m left short from a bill) or a treat for us, maybe a magazine for the child and a takeaway or a treat to McDonald’s I’m terrible for using what ever money is left on treats and hopeless at saving. It’s just draining always being on edge. Even when I’m giving the item away I get a message from her.

QuackPorridgeBacon Sun 15-Oct-17 17:09:07

Timing, not uniformed. No idea how that happened.

MrsHathaway Sun 15-Oct-17 17:21:12

Just to add, within minutes of putting something up I will get a message saying that they see I am selling/giving away the item.

Oh, now I get it. You're listing for sale on fb. Well, you may be able to change the audience of the post so she can't see it. Or yes use another platform.

MrsHathaway Sun 15-Oct-17 17:23:58

Sorry, delayed posting so didn't see yours.

She sounds like hard work. But AutoTrader might have gone under the radar better.

QuackPorridgeBacon Sun 15-Oct-17 17:45:40

I’ve never thought of anywhere else because Facebook is so handy and I know the people in the group are from the area. She is hard work, I try so hard to keep the peace but sometimes I cave and tell her how she is. Then I get abuse which she later denies.

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