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AIBU?

Kicking her out for a tattoo

447 replies

Potterhead113 · 15/10/2017 15:16

My friend is 19 and at uni, she recently got a tattoo to cover up self harm scars on her leg. It is very well done and tasteful and paid for half by her student loan and half by her own savings from work. Her parents have no refused to help her financially (her loan doesn't fully cover rent as they earn too much) her rent is now due and she cannot pay and the uni bursary won't give her any loans because her parents have money and she's looking at being kicked out with no where to live. They said she looks awful and they hate it and will only pay for her if she gets laser which she will have to pay for herself.

ATBU in this situation by not paying her or is it fine seeing as she is 19 and they have no real responsibility over her?

OP posts:

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IHaveBrilloHair · 15/10/2017 15:17

They are being horribly unreasonable, her choices for her body do not affect them at all.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 15/10/2017 15:18

I think blowing money you haven’t got on a tattoo is a pretty stupid thing to do so tbh I have little sympathy for her.

ghostyslovesheets · 15/10/2017 15:18

bit of both - they are behaving horribly and I feel sorry for her but she maybe should have covered all her rent before getting a tattoo?

Movablefeast · 15/10/2017 15:18

Well she was irresponsible to use the money she needed for rent.

Bubblysqueak · 15/10/2017 15:20

I can see why she did it but rent should have come first. (This is said by someone who used her student loan to buy bridesmaid dresses)

Potterhead113 · 15/10/2017 15:20

Let me clarify, her loan and savings would still not have covered her rent and her parents had before agreed to pay her rent themselves so she could have the loan as money for other things (rent is £2,400 a term and tattoo was £120)

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Undercoverbanana · 15/10/2017 15:23

At first I thought we were talking about a 19 year old getting chucked out of home for a tattoo, which would be ludicrous.

Did she not think about the consequences of spending this money (some of which is not even hers, it's a loan for her education) on something that would leave her homeless and cocking up her degree?

She's 19. An adult. You have to make adult decisions and face the consequences. That's life.

Sympathies for the scars, but there should have been a proper plan about paying for this solution. Again - that's adult life.

scaryclown · 15/10/2017 15:24

Unis and student loans do have provision when parents do this, you have to declare that your parents are no longer contributing.
What bastards though..

RandomMess · 15/10/2017 15:24

Did she know how her parents felt about tattoos?

BlueSuffragette · 15/10/2017 15:25

Can't she extend her loan? How do students go on paying their rent if their parents aren't rich enough to pay it?

gamerchick · 15/10/2017 15:26

I think blowing money you haven’t got on a tattoo is a pretty stupid thing to do so tbh I have little sympathy for her

Wear your self harm scars with pride do you?

Tbh OP it sounds as if she needs to drop out of uni, get herself sorted without her parents help so she can cut them off and go back at a later date. I really don’t know what else to suggest if they’re willing to see her homeless.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 15/10/2017 15:27

Unfortunately when you’re financially reliant on someone else it’s not unreasonable for them to have a say on what you spend your money on. She must have had some idea that her parents would be horrified.

Potterhead113 · 15/10/2017 15:27

The uni still looks at her parents income when she wanted to get extra loans and they suggested just talking to her parents (which obviously isn't making any difference). Also she did know her parents hate tattoos but didn't think they would react this severely about it. They have also said they do not want her home at Christmas.

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sooperdooper · 15/10/2017 15:27

She shouldn't have used her rent money for a tattoo and then expect her parents to give her more money

I don't think this is about the tattoo, it's about her spending money she didn't have on it & expecting to be bailed out

In principal, if they'd just kicked off about a tattoo they would be unreasonable, but they didn't

Headofthehive55 · 15/10/2017 15:28

No sympathy here I'm afraid. Parents do not have to pay - they do from their goodwill. She spent money that wasn't hers really to spend.
If you need someone else's money you rather have to behave in a way that means you get it. She didn't behave wisely at all.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 15/10/2017 15:28

Wear your self harm scars with pride do you?

I do actually. Well, pride is probably the wrong word but I don’t hide them and I’m not ashamed of them.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 15/10/2017 15:28

It's harsh but what she learn of they bail her out after she wasted the money on something that wasn't urgent or needed right now?

She may need to work more now to cover the shortfall unless they have a change of heart.

gamerchick · 15/10/2017 15:29

I do actually. Well, pride is probably the wrong word but I don’t hide them and I’m not ashamed of them

But you can understand someone wanting to cover theirs up then in that case?

Potterhead113 · 15/10/2017 15:30

I don't think people understand, she did have money to spend on her tattoo, it was covered half by her money she saved by working in her gap year and half by her student loan which her parents had already said she can spend on what she likes as they were paying her rent for her

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Potterhead113 · 15/10/2017 15:31

She didn't exactly get a tattoo for no reason, she wanted to cover scars that make her upset to look at and make her self conscious

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MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 15/10/2017 15:31

But you can understand someone wanting to cover theirs up then in that case?

Yes, but not by spending money they haven’t really got.

Ttbb · 15/10/2017 15:32

Surely she is the one being unreasonable? She used tax payers money that is supposed to prevent situations like this on a tattoo. If she were my child I probably wouldn't leave her homeless but I wouldn't pay her rent either, she could move back in with her parents if she wants to act like a child.

LovingLola · 15/10/2017 15:33

The tattoo was £120?

Headofthehive55 · 15/10/2017 15:33

But they imagined she would be more sensible. I presume.
I am sure they are very disappointed in her.
She didn't have the money! You can't use your Karen's cash, saving yours fir fun stuff.
Parents do not have to support their children post 18.

Potterhead113 · 15/10/2017 15:34

ttbb do you get annoyed by students spending their loan on alcohol which almost all do? I and many others view her covering up self harm scars as more worth it than alcohol. I would rather my tax money went on making people feel less depressed than on them getting drunk.

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