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AIBU?

Parent phones in sick for their DD at work. AIBU to think this is silly?

159 replies

AppleBananaCarrot · 15/10/2017 12:32

I don't understand why my manager allows it. I'm a supervisor btw. I have name changed for very obvious reasons.

The woman is almost 19! I could slightly understand if she was 16 (although I'd still expect her to do it) it's in our policy that you can't get someone else to phone up and on the 3 occasions she has been sick (over last couple of years) it's always her mother that has phoned in, I asked my manager and he said that the DD was on a drug that makes her tired, so she couldn't get to the phone, but really? If my husband phoned in and said that, I think they'd life and tell him to put me on the phone.

OP posts:

Report

lookingbeyond40 · 15/10/2017 12:33

Depends how sick you are!!!! If you have no idea of her circumstances!

BitOfANameChange · 15/10/2017 12:34

My DD is fab in person, but has a problem, maybe even a phobia, of talking on phones. Even if I call her, she can't always speak to me, especially when her anxiety is high.

And I once had to get DP to call in on my behalf when I had no voice to actually speak.

So, there could be any reason for someone calling sick on behalf of someone else.

Lethaldrizzle · 15/10/2017 12:35

Yes it is ridiculous. She should phone on sick herself. She isn't a child

mishfish · 15/10/2017 12:35

I've phoned in sick for my fiancé once. There was no way getting on the phone and talking to someone when he was so ill was a remote priority.

Is it really any of your business?

shivermytimbers · 15/10/2017 12:35

My husband phoned in for me once. Every time I lifted my head off the pillow, I threw up. Nobody seemed to mind, they just needed to know that I wasn't going to be in so that they could arrange cover.

Flippingecktucker · 15/10/2017 12:36

Yes, really. I have a recurring condition, and have to take very strong painkillers it when it flares up. I'm in no shape to be having sensible telephone conversations when I'm taking them. It's good that she has her Mum to do it for her.

ilovesooty · 15/10/2017 12:36

In my company if you don't make contact by phone yourself it's recorded on your back to work form.

BitOfANameChange · 15/10/2017 12:36

OP, your manager seems to be okay with this, so what's your problem?

ilovesooty · 15/10/2017 12:39

As a supervisor OP do you have to be responsible for staff compliance with the policy? I could understand your concern if so.

Fluffyears · 15/10/2017 12:40

One company I worked for reprimanded someone for this, he was in hospital with a tube down his throat

ElinoristhenewEnid · 15/10/2017 12:40

My dh always phoned in for me - too unwell to get out of bed and no mobile phone or even cordless phone.
When i lived with parents my dad always phoned for me because we did not have a house phone and the telephone box was a 10 minute walk - well enough to get there = well enough to go to work. No car either.
Those were the days!!

AppleBananaCarrot · 15/10/2017 12:41

@ilovesooty that's correct!

OP posts:

OnionKnight · 15/10/2017 12:41

My wife phones in for me, I'm deaf.

Doreah · 15/10/2017 12:42

Your manager seems to have more information about the situation so you need to trust their judgement. As a supervisor myself I would expect the member of staff to phone in themselves but we have 2 team members with particular health issues and their parents have rung in on their behalf (one is late teens and the other is early 30's) due to their health problems.

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2017 12:42

YANBU

What's the point in having a policy, if the manager picks and chooses who needs to stick to it?

userofthiswebsite · 15/10/2017 12:43

It's really not that big a deal; why would you let it bother you? Unless you suspect the 'sick' story is not true...

ilovesooty · 15/10/2017 12:44

I would expect anyone exempted from the policy to have it recorded on their HR file as a reasonable adjustment for disability.

Obviously things like hospital admissions are different.

52FestiveRoad · 15/10/2017 12:45

What if someone had just had a seizure, for example. Would you expect them to be able to phone in themselves? My DD has them and she is in no state to do anything for quite along while afterwards. Maybe the medication this person is on does make her drowsy- I bet in she phoned in confused and slurring her speech you would be all judgy that she was drunk, maybe she just can't win either way!

TSSDNCOP · 15/10/2017 12:46

DH called in for me last week, I couldn't speak. I called in for him last year, he was on a drip recovering from complications arising from diabetes.

There are legitimate circumstances where a blanket company policy cannot be followed. A sensible, empathetic boss will know this, and likely win more respect from staff.

These sorts of rules are generally in place to deter shirkers. Again, a good boss can usually determine a good employee without needing to make them adhere to a rule when they actually can't,

Ellybellyboo · 15/10/2017 12:51

Depends how sick I suppose

My DH phoned in for me a little while ago. I had a horrible D&V bug and every time I opened my mouth I was sick.

I rung in myself a bit later. Work were fine, they just needed to know as early as possible that I wasn't going to be in

Flipflopflipflap · 15/10/2017 12:52

I've not phoned myself a few times, once I was totally voiceless, another time when I was about 18 I was bereaved and had made myself so ill from all the crying and shaking I had thrown up and the third I was having an Athsma attack and DP reported my lateness for me.
Sometimes people can't do everything they want

FlaviaAlbia · 15/10/2017 12:52

DH has phoned in for me at least once when I hadn't a throat infection and my voice was so bad I couldn't had a phone conversation.

I don't see the problem if the illness meant it wasn't practical or dignified to come to the phone. Would you really want to listen to D&V sound effects while the employee tries to tell you they're sick?

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Gimmeareason · 15/10/2017 12:52

All these peopke who 'just couldn't" and had to have their partners do their big girl work for them - how do you reckon single people handle this?

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2017 12:53

Actually now I've thought about it, my last comment was wrong.

If she's on a drug that makes her tired, perhaps a reasonable adjustment has been made, as sooty pointed out.

DeltaWave · 15/10/2017 12:54

Yes, she's a grown-up and should call in herself, and she may be even be in breach of policy... but does it actually matter?

IMHO, life has enough challenges as it is without getting wound up by this sort of thing!

Flip

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