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AIBU?

WIBU me or DH?

183 replies

CurlyWurlyHairCoveredChocolate · 15/10/2017 11:52

I won some money on a raffle, not a lot about £500.

I think we should use it to clear off two small debts we have; one's a credit card which has £200 left to pay on it and the other is an overdraft of about £180. I want to put the remaining towards DD (who's 2) Christmas presents, and get her something I know she really wants - it won't cost the whole £120 left but a good chunk of it. The rest will cover our Christmas Day food costs.

My DHs PS4 broke about 6 months ago - it's unrepairable so we sold it for spares and repairs. He's been going to my DMs to use my DBros or going to his friends to play theirs. He's been going a couple of times a week (I don't actually mind as I go swimming 3 times a week after work so this is his "leisure time"). He was very excited when I won the money, "I can finally replace the PS4" he says quite happily.

Personally, I know it's a pain but my DBro is out at work 4 nights a week and is happy for my DH to use his PS4 in that time, so I prefer the system we have, and I think the debts are a higher priority than his PS4. If he goes to his friends, they spend time together have a laugh and he says he enjoys going so again I don't mind.

I'm happy to be told IABU, but should we be boring and sensible or do I let my DH blow it all on an expensive console that neither me nor DD will benefit from?

OP posts:

Report

McButtonwillow · 15/10/2017 11:54

YANBU if he wants a new PS4 he can save up for it.

And how presumptious assuming your winnings would go on buying him a console, he sounds childish.

glitterfarts · 15/10/2017 11:54

You are not BU. Your DH is being very unreasonable. And cheeky. And rude, spending your win on something only he benefits from.

bandbsmummy · 15/10/2017 11:55

I would definitely go for the boring and sensible option personally, it is your money after all and you are wanting to you it to benefit the whole family not just one selfish person.

stitchglitched · 15/10/2017 11:56

The automatic presumption that he would get to spend your winnings on himself and not you or your child would be enough for me to make sure he didn't get his hands on a penny of it. YANBU.

bandbsmummy · 15/10/2017 11:56

Sorry that made no sense but you get the gist! YANBU!

Anecdoche · 15/10/2017 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moanyoldcow · 15/10/2017 11:56

Of course YANBU - I won about £1000 on online bingo a while ago. DH didn't expect any of the money but I used it to clear a CC debt in any case.

Eemamc · 15/10/2017 11:56

Did YOU win the money? If so it is up to you, and not your DH. If you can’t easily replace the PS4 then it sounds like it would take a while to clear those debts ordinarily. Your plan sounds eminently sensible, and a good move benefitting the family as a whole. Buying DH a PS4 is not for the good of the family. He can save up for a replacement IMO.

PaperdollCartoon · 15/10/2017 11:56

He's being totally U. It's YOUR money, and you want to spend it in a way that benefits you both and your child, and he wants to spend it in a way that benefits only him. What a man child. Is he usually selfish?

user1493413286 · 15/10/2017 11:57

That’s quite selfish expecting to spend your winnings on something only he benefits from.
I’d be tempted to use some of it each to treat yourselves and the rest towards the credit card then he could put his part towards a new PS4 but paying off your credit cards would give you more money long term

PinkHeart5914 · 15/10/2017 11:58

Pay for debts off ffs his being an arse! Bills should always come before a sodding play station

DaisysStew · 15/10/2017 11:59

Is he a teenager? You win money and he thinks it's all being spent on a present for him rather than a) something for you seeing as it's your money or b) for the benefit of the whole family (which is what you've generously decided to use it for).

Tell him in no uncertain terms that you have already allocated the money for debts and Christmas, and maybe ask why in the world he thought that your money would be spent solely on him and no one else?

CurlyWurlyHairCoveredChocolate · 15/10/2017 12:00

He's not usually selfish, I just think he's a bit fed up of having to have his leisure time in other peoples homes.

OP posts:

MadMags · 15/10/2017 12:00

Your husband, or your teenage son?

He needs to grow up, ffs!

Bills and child trump a games console for a grown man every time.

KatharinaRosalie · 15/10/2017 12:00

He's very, very unreasonable to use money you need to clear debts and have a christmas dinner for a games console.

Bluntness100 · 15/10/2017 12:01

I also think it’s unreasonable and very selfish that he thinks the money should be spent soley on him. I also think if you’re struggling to pay those debts off then that’s a lot of money for your family and your plan is a good one.

stitchglitched · 15/10/2017 12:03

He doesn't have to go to other people's homes all the time though, it's his choice. He doesn't have to play on a games console 4 nights a week!

Bluntness100 · 15/10/2017 12:03

You can also get a second hand PS4 for two hundred quid. If he saved a few quid a week he could by one himself in a few months.

Chartreuse45 · 15/10/2017 12:06

I had a look at prices - in euros it seems it would be €369! Can't imagine why he thinks he is entitled to half! He's lucky you are paying off joint(?) Debts instead of having a spa day/shopping day!

AlternativeTentacle · 15/10/2017 12:06

I just think he's a bit fed up of having to have his leisure time in other peoples homes.

Poor love. It's astonishing in this day and age a grown man has to borrow someone else's Playstation. Oh hang on...

Danceswithwarthogs · 15/10/2017 12:06

Tbh neither of us would be prepared to spend significant money on a non-essential like a games console while we still had credit card debt. You sound sensible and he needs to grow up a bit.

honeylulu · 15/10/2017 12:06

Of course paying off debts and allocating to (almost) unavoidable expenses comes before a new PS4!
He'd got a right cheek assuming he can just pocket your winnings for himself.
Your proposal benefits the whole family. His only benefits him.
If you had said "I've won £500 and plan to treat myself and not share" then my answer might be different (your winnings but family money ...) but in the circumstances I do not think you are at all U!

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CurlyWurlyHairCoveredChocolate · 15/10/2017 12:07

While we're not struggling to pay off those two debts, we are being phoned by the bank a lot about the overdraft as they want more money off us, so it would make it less stressful and give us about £20 extra a month to spend, which can then be put towards other things.

OP posts:

Lethaldrizzle · 15/10/2017 12:09

Ps4 ? How old is he?!

WineAndTiramisu · 15/10/2017 12:09

YADNBU - debts come before play items, and children/Christmas also comes before a play item for an adult

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