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AIBU?

AIBU to complain about a delivery driver using sexist language?

152 replies

mouserat · 14/10/2017 20:49

Earlier tonight I ordered food from a local branch of a national pizza company and the delivery driver who brought it twice referred to me as 'sweetheart'.
I am from the north of England and people (especially older people) referring to a stranger as 'pet' is a very common colloquialism where I live, but 'sweetheart' is not. Also he was not an older man who might have used something like that as part of his general speech pattern, he was probably in his late teens to at most 20-21. And he said it in a really condescending tone.

My first thought was that this was inappropriate and sexist (he wouldn't have said it to a man) language and shouldn't go unchallenged, but when I came to write an email of complaint to the company I started to wonder if I was being ridiculous and blowing things out of proportion. I'm not expecting an apology or anything from them, I'd just like someone to have a word with him about his language when speaking to female customers. Would it be unreasonable to make a complaint?

OP posts:

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juneybean · 14/10/2017 20:50

I can't get het up about this.

RunningOutOfCharge · 14/10/2017 20:50

Lol me either

RunningOutOfCharge · 14/10/2017 20:51

Someone will though....

KeepItAsItIs · 14/10/2017 20:51

I honestly could not find the energy to get worked up about this, let alone sit and write a complaint!

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 14/10/2017 20:51

This is definitely going to end up on the DM site

BowAndArrow · 14/10/2017 20:52

To me, YABU.

You can't excuse an older man for doing it but condemn a younger one.

I don't see the issue at all, but I don't mind things like that.

BowAndArrow · 14/10/2017 20:52

Can't you just eat the pizza and calm the fuck down?

notanotherNC · 14/10/2017 20:52

Well it is everyday sexism. And I hate that sort of thing. But I think Dominoes or Pizza Hut will think you are mental if you complain. Not that I don't agree with your sentiment as I totally do.

paia · 14/10/2017 20:53

YABU. Have you really not got bigger things to be occupying yourself with?

Antisocialarsebadger · 14/10/2017 20:53

I don't like it, but it's not enough to complain. There's a woman that does it in my local Argos and it drives me crazy but I do think she's trying to be friendly.

FiveShelties · 14/10/2017 20:53

Oh yes, do complain ---- and enjoy your Pizza when they next deliver to you.

user1493413286 · 14/10/2017 20:54

I think it’d be better to have said something to his face along the lines of I’d rather you didn’t call me sweetheart rather than potentially risk his job for it.

Redglitter · 14/10/2017 20:54

I can't believe it would even cross your mind to complain.

TittyGolightly · 14/10/2017 20:54

A male waiter asked me the other day how come I'd arrived in a sports car, did it belong to my husband. His (female) boss overheard, saw my facial expression and gave him an instant lesson in sexism. I'd have given it if she hadn't, but I wouldn't have complained to his boss about him.

Cynara · 14/10/2017 20:55

I am a pretty militant feminist. But I really couldn't be arsed getting worked up about this one; I'd rather just eat the pizza and move on.

MamaOfTwos · 14/10/2017 20:55

You sound batshit

scrabbler3 · 14/10/2017 20:56

You won't be taken seriously but you might get a voucher.

The best way to deal with this kind of thing is to ask the person using the word, to refrain from it.

ShakeShakeTheMuffin · 14/10/2017 20:56

Ha ha. I had a delivery driver call me 'my love' today. He was definitely younger than me and yes it did annoy me slightly. Didn't say anything though. I would possibly challenge a work colleague, but not someone I'm unlikely to see again.

Monkeypuzzle32 · 14/10/2017 20:57

I'd say he was trying to be nice even if it was patronising so I wouldn't complain-unless the pizza was cold!

AgentProvocateur · 14/10/2017 20:57

Only a massive twat would write and complain about this. Don't be that twat.

sooperdooper · 14/10/2017 20:58

Let it go....

VivaLeBeaver · 14/10/2017 21:03

You either say something at the time or you leave it.

Someone in a gym class the other week called the male instructor out because he called her love. He was a bit shocked but said sorry and I don't think he would do it again.

WorraLiberty · 14/10/2017 21:07

So it's ok to refer to someone as 'pet' but not 'sweetheart'?

When did you get to make these 'rules'?

My first thought was that this was inappropriate and sexist (he wouldn't have said it to a man)

He wouldn't have called a man 'pet' either, would he?

MotherOfDragons22 · 14/10/2017 21:10

Get over yourself OP..

CaretakerToNuns · 14/10/2017 21:14

YANBU.

It's a microaggression - he needs to be called out on it.

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