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To be annoyed with my friends?

(233 Posts)
SongforSal Sat 14-Oct-17 20:21:07

5 of us get together frequently for drinks etc. This month was one of my friends birthday. One of our friends has a parent that runs a spa type place, and wangled us an amazing deal of 20 quid each. Amazing.

Anyway, as not to drip feed. The spar day was 2 weeks before the actual birthday, now money has been tight for me. The car went to car heaven, and I have started a new job with a 7 week pay gap. I did however budget for friends birthday.

A week before the spa, with the view that once I got paid, I'd give her a pressie in time for her birthday. Another friend sent her bank details to me asking for 100 quid. Turns out she assumed I would split the cost for birthday girl, and put in jointly for a big present. I explained my financial situation and they understood.

I was planning on going still and sending a present when I get paid. However.

Just seen pictures on social media, the date was moved and they went without me.
Thinking about it, not one of them has even asked how my new job is going. I have babysat their kids numerous times and fed them. One of these friends I recently gave a gig ticket to for free worth loads as it comes with back stage access, and I gave it to her because she loves the artist more than me. Another of these friends I have financially helped when down on their luck.

Don't get me wrong. I am glad my friend had a nice birthday, but it seems I was ultimately excluded because I could not financially contribute to the big present.

Anyway, had a message from birthday girl tonight asking if I could look after her DC'S next week overnight. No mention of her birthday, no asking about my new job. Am I being a mug or to sensitive?


NapQueen Sat 14-Oct-17 20:23:30

You are not being sensitive at all thats awful!

The only thing I can think is that on explaining your financial situation they assumed that meant you wouldnt be attending? £100 when only around 25 of that is for the spa is shocking! Who spends 75 quid on a gift for a friend!?

treaclesoda Sat 14-Oct-17 20:23:32

They sound horrible. You're not being overly sensitive at all.

MrsMozart Sat 14-Oct-17 20:24:04

Time for new friends.

Maelstrop Sat 14-Oct-17 20:24:06

They didn't tell you they'd changed the date? Bitches! I would send a very polite text saying you were unaware of the change of date, my new job is fine, thanks for asking (sarcastic emoji) and no, I'm busy the day you want the kids looked after. I would pull no fucking punches.

ladygracie Sat 14-Oct-17 20:24:18

Oh, that's horrible. You poor thing. I don't think you are being over sensitive at all. That's not how friends should treat friends.

PurpleMinionMummy Sat 14-Oct-17 20:25:22

I wouldn't be looking after them.

NapQueen Sat 14-Oct-17 20:27:22

Maybe you could respond "Not sure what Ive got on, what date are we at the Spa again?"

BrutusMcDogface Sat 14-Oct-17 20:29:22

Gosh, you poor thing. What awful "friends". I'm sorry. Agree with the text above from Maelstrop. sadflowers

FiveShelties Sat 14-Oct-17 20:29:28

That is a horrible thing to do. I would definitely not be looking after her children. Weird that they could not message you new date but could message to ask you to do something. You are definitely not being too sensitive, I would have been really hurt.

SisterMoonshine Sat 14-Oct-17 20:30:04

I wonder if something in the wording of your response to the request for the £100 was actually just misunderstood.

MissesBloom Sat 14-Oct-17 20:30:31

Wow....really shitty of them.

Wouldn't bother getting into an argument but would say it's not convenient. Then sack them off. They sound like typical 'mean girls'.

honeysucklejasmine Sat 14-Oct-17 20:30:49

Ouch. As much as I hate confrontation, I couldn't let that pass without comment.

edwinbear Sat 14-Oct-17 20:30:51

Maybe you could respond "Not sure what Ive got on, what date are we at the Spa again?

This - with bells on. What absolute bitches sad

SongforSal Sat 14-Oct-17 20:31:08

The present was a Pandora bracelet with a few charms. Not cheap. I was going to pop over some flowers and some posh chocolates when I get paid. Feeling silly now.

Sooooooooooooooooooooo Sat 14-Oct-17 20:33:12

'No' is your answer. How horrible OP. It seems like you're just convenient childcare.

Msqueen33 Sat 14-Oct-17 20:33:37

That's really horrible. I wouldn't be massively inclined to watch their kids or help them out in any way now.

Nocabbageinmyeye Sat 14-Oct-17 20:33:52

No way mind her kids, they have treated you horribly! I would text back "No can do, the days of me doing favours for people who clearly don't give a toss about me are over. Hope you enjoyed your birthday"

UnicornSparkles1 Sat 14-Oct-17 20:34:25

That's really shitty. Bitches! Agree with Maelstrop.

Nocabbageinmyeye Sat 14-Oct-17 20:35:00

Do buy flowers and chocolates - for yourself DO NOT give her a gift confused

Aquamarine1029 Sat 14-Oct-17 20:35:20

Wow. I'm speechless for you. This was a blatant disregard for you, and for them to purposefully exclude you from the spa day is truly unbelievable. Sadly, these people are no friends of yours, and they have made that abundantly clear. However, I wouldn't say this is a big loss - how could you be friends with people like this? I think you should tell the birthday girl everything you've told us. And never watch their kids again!

Fishface77 Sat 14-Oct-17 20:35:52

Text her back ooh I was going to ask, when are we going to the spa? And base your replies on that.
No way would I be doing child care or anything else for these scabby cf again

washingmachinefastwash Sat 14-Oct-17 20:36:18

I would reply saying you hope she had a lovely spa day and you wish you had known about the change of date. Say you’re busy next weekend so can’t watch her DC.

Such a shitty thing to do.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 14-Oct-17 20:36:48

They've treated you badly. Very badly.

KeepItAsItIs Sat 14-Oct-17 20:37:08

I vote for asking when the spa day is again. See what their response is. And zero favours for them again, plus dumping their arses. These are no friends.

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