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AIBU to tell people to mind their own business?

(48 Posts)
ifihadonlyknown Sat 14-Oct-17 15:19:46

Sorry the thread is a bit wordy but I feel as though the details are necessary.My youngest child is a boy who has just turned 5 months. I had a huge gap of 15 years between my children and people seemed to treat me like a first -time mum and offer lots of annoying advice. Also I had been caring for my young nieces and nephews from birth throughout that time so wasn't exactly out of practice. Anyway, he's a bit unusual. firstly he was born at 43.5 weeks gestation which is about the longest 'cooking time' any child I've known ever had. He really liked it in there! He arrived by C-section after it was established that he was in the strangest, breech presentation. I was delighted that he was a C-section once I saw him too. In the98th percentile for weight and his length was off the charts. He looked about 3 months old. I breastfed 3 times before deciding formula was the way forward. Doctors commented on his muscle tone and the fact he could lift his own head etc while at the Hospital still. He has continued to grow and develop quickly. At 3.5 months he was sat on my knee at a wedding and I was busy chatting when I noticed the couple opposite us giggling, he'd been helping himself to fistfuls of gateaux and whipped cream. After establishing that this had done him no harm(the absence of allergy symptoms or gut issues next day) I decided he was ready for food and started offering regular solids. His sleep improved and it was lovely to explore foods and flavours with him. I got serious bashing from other mums about the 'not before 6 months' advice thing but I reasoned that he was the size of a 6 month old and the cake incident told me he was ready. At 5 months he sits up quite well unsupported with only occasional face plants on the floor and is crawling (not particularly well, resembles a wounded caterpillar) but does a great job of feeding himself, can use a sippy cup, bottle and can spoon mash into his own mouth. I'm not bragging that he's some sort of genius because this stuff wont be any indicator of how bright or successful he'll be as an adult, hes just super big and strong and loves food. I'm sick to death of people 'telling me off' for letting him eat 'adult food' and thinking its something I've forced on him. Not strangers because they assume he's a normal older baby but certain female relatives and friends who tell me that he shouldn't be eating this, that's too chewy... Its neglect to let him hold his own bottle blah blah. Its got to the point where I'm not visiting or inviting people over because I feel like throttling them when they harp on at me, Anyone else get lectured for bringing their own baby up their own way?

Squirmy65ghyg Sat 14-Oct-17 15:58:10


TroelsLovesSquinkies Sat 14-Oct-17 16:24:08

Tell them to mind their own business.

AccidentalyRunToWindsor Sat 14-Oct-17 16:26:43

Tell them to mind their own bloody business, nosy fuckers.

paia Sat 14-Oct-17 16:29:19

YABU I'm afraid. The no food before 6 months guidance is there for a reason. It takes time for the gut to properly develop and food before 6 months can increase the chances of intolerances etc. Babies try to PT everything in their mouths - just because he reached for cake doesn't mean he needed or was physically ready for food.

paia Sat 14-Oct-17 16:29:47

*put, not PT

Spadequeen Sat 14-Oct-17 16:31:45

Just give them the death stare

Ceebs85 Sat 14-Oct-17 16:34:10


But as a new mother myself I know if it weren't that it'd be something else!

DurhamDurham Sat 14-Oct-17 16:35:35

Both of my children started to have solids between three and four months, granted this was twenty years ago and advice was different then but they thrived on it and had no negative effects. If your baby is ready for solids and enjoying them I can't see the harm.

FreakinScaryCaaw Sat 14-Oct-17 16:37:35

Neglect to let him hold his own bottle? Madness.

He sounds adorable. Ignore nosey people.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Sat 14-Oct-17 16:41:41

I could've written your post. I weaned ds1 at 4 months and only waited that long because I was feeling pressure from others to delay. He was also born the size of a 3 month old and has always been big. Weaning early has caused him no issues whatsoever, he's 7 now and a perfect weight for his height. He has averaged out a bit and isn't the towering huge monster I thought he would be when he was twice the size of every other newborn. Keep doing what you're doing!

Allthebestnamesareused Sat 14-Oct-17 16:56:50

He was in effect almost a month old when he was born and is also 98th centile. Of course he was hungry and of course you did what you feel is right. They can mind their own business.

ifihadonlyknown Sat 14-Oct-17 19:31:05

Thank you all for your responses. Its great to see that most people think its okay for him to be fed like this. I will continue to enjoy feeding him. I don't understand why people think its okay to tell you how to raise your children. If someone walked in my house and told me what colour to paint the walls I'd tell em to get stuffed. Will be giving the same response to anyone offering advice with my son now too, unless of course I have asked for it.

MamaLeen Sat 14-Oct-17 20:47:52

I gave my daughter soft solids at 4 months and she managed fine so I continued with that.
With my son I tried at 4 months and he wasn't ready at all so I waited until he was nearly 7 month. (Turned out he had throat problems)
Anyways my point is as a mother we know our children best and what they can and can't handled.
Just tell them you have everything under control.
You have no need to justify your parenting to anyone.
You son is thriving and you have already got a son to his teens years! Your a pro 💖

Caenea Sat 14-Oct-17 20:53:55

Firstly, OP, I bow before you for managing to carry any baby that long without going crackers - my daughter was on the 75th centile for weight and was only 4 days late, and I was begging for induction from the 39th week because I was exhausted by lugging her around.

Secondly, YANBU, tell people to bugger off. You know your own baby. You aren't going around giving him espresso and mars bars (at least, I'm assuming not!) so people can get stuffed.

ijustwannadance Sat 14-Oct-17 21:07:25

My DD came out looking about 3 months old too and very strong.

The only reason I waited til 6 months to wean her was because I have a ton of allergies and if it prevented her being like me it was a bonus. Didn't work though. She still has them.

Carry on as you are. He sounds fab.

Allthewaves Sat 14-Oct-17 21:22:42

Presume he's still getting all the milk he needs and your not stuffing haribos into him then I don't see the issue.

Allthewaves Sat 14-Oct-17 21:25:22

My youngest ended up munching at 4 months when he decided to cram my slice of buttered toast into his mouth and devoured it while I was at toddler group chatting to another mum (we won't talk about his brother feeding him chocolate buttons the next wk blush

Funko Sat 14-Oct-17 21:35:10

My DS was 6lb 10oz at birth so not huge by any means. But my god he was bloody starving hungry all the time! He was zipping through full size bottles at 3 hours or less intervals. From birth it was 2 hourly intervals, I was convinced I was doing something wrong. He was also born fully alert, eyes wide tracking everyone from day 1, able to hold his head up and also push himself up briefly using his arms to get a better look at what was going on around him. V weird! He never had the wobbly head as a baby.

I felt that clearly he wasn’t getting enough from milk and spoke to HV about moving him into next stage milk and she was adamant I was wrong and not to do it. I did it! He needed it. Even on next stage milk he didn’t reduce the volume he was drinking although the intervals did stretch to a more reasonable timescale. She was also adamant that he wasn’t ready for solids at 4 months. He bloody was, after trying to swipe my food all the time. He needed it and was and is fine. He is nearly 12 now. Never been overweight, he’s very ‘solid’ though and taller than me already!

EatTheChocolateTeapot Sat 14-Oct-17 21:37:00

YABU to imply that his sleep improved because he went on solids. Also it is up to you to decide wether to breastfeed or formula feed but there is absolutely no link with baby's birth weight, higher centiles babies can be breastfed too, it's not a problem at all.

chitofftheshovel Sat 14-Oct-17 21:37:36

Ach, you absolutely start solids when it feels right to you. And from what you've said it is the right time. The advice is just advice, we're not all the same and nor are our babies.

Mine were both on solids at around 4 months. And shock, horror, I also ate lots of the things one is not meant to eat during pregnancy.

You're fine, honestly.

Nanny0gg Sat 14-Oct-17 21:42:58

YABU to imply that his sleep improved because he went on solids.

Why? Babies sleep better with full tummies.

chitofftheshovel Sat 14-Oct-17 21:43:06

eat certainly with my first he'd been sleeping through for a while and then started waking in the night, he was hungry and solids alleviated this so it did help with his sleep.

buckyou Sat 14-Oct-17 21:44:32

My DS is similar, I started weaning at 5.5 months and got unsupportive comments from the fam. Gave me the rage!!! DS was also late, big and very good at feeding himself!!

He's 8 months now and I'm so glad I didn't make him hold off he was really ready for food. He's amazing now he eats more and more variety than my 2yo (although maybe that's not surprising!).

Just tell them to bugger off!

Ttbb Sat 14-Oct-17 21:46:05

They sound like complete idiots. The baby is hungry so you feed him, it must be child abuse. 🙄

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