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Another parent shouted at me at school gates

(106 Posts)
Itsanothernamechange Sat 14-Oct-17 09:34:25

Aibu to be bloody annoyed about this.
Back story
Around 3 weeks ago my partner was driving myself and ds to the school to drop him at breakfast club. We were driving down the road parallel to the school. The road is in a 20mph zone and we weren't speeding. A boy who I'd say was a year 3 maybe 4 ran straight out into the road in front of the car so close that we had to hit the breaks. No adult to be seen. As I say we weren't speeding but if it was 2 seconds later he'd have been hit no two ways about it.
Mentioned it to breakfast club as the child was there. Purely because I teach in a school (different school) and this would be something they'd want to know about.

Fast forward to yesterday
Picked my child up from after school club and was walking out of the school when parent of said child stops me and asks "if I was the one who was so concerned about his child's safety." Now I must have looked confused as he said I had told the school that his child was nearly hit by us in a car. At that point I actually naively thought he was going to thank me or something..... oh no silly me

I said yes I did mention it as I thought he was on his own.

He then completely lost it at me saying he was in a car up the street and his son hadn't ran out into the road and it didn't happen the way it was said and it's lies. I reiterated calmly what happened but he just shouted me down. The man was very threatening in his manner he didn't swear but he was intimidating. I'm clearly to look at me, very pregnant and had my 5yo with me and this man was big built and angry.

I'm now really uncomfortable going to school to do pick ups as he does it at the same time and I don't want any more dealings with him. Do you think the head would be able to do something??

Thanks

Fortybingowings Sat 14-Oct-17 09:37:15

He’s a twat. He knows he’s in the wrong but too much of an idiot to admit it. Therefore he is shouting. Not sure the head could do much but I’d give him a wide berth and thank my lucky stars I’m not married to him grin

Itsanothernamechange Sat 14-Oct-17 09:39:22

That's what I'm thinking. I reckon the school have gave dad a bollocking and he doesn't like it so vented it out on me.

relevantstuff Sat 14-Oct-17 09:39:50

I'd quietly mention it to the head just so that it's on record, but I doubt they could do anything about it.

The man sounds absolutely vile.

Msqueen33 Sat 14-Oct-17 09:40:57

What an arsehole! I had a man like this come up and have a go at me about my dd "bullying" his dd. Turns out my dd had accidentally pronounced his daughter's very long foreign name incorrectly.

fc301 Sat 14-Oct-17 09:41:03

He is responsible. He can’t accept responsibility so he is going on the attack. totally unacceptable.
I would mention it to the Head as IMO this sort of bullying and intimidating behaviour should not be tolerated on School grounds where children can witness it.

gosteady Sat 14-Oct-17 09:41:15

I'm a teacher and I'd definitely recommend telling the school about him.

DancingLedge Sat 14-Oct-17 09:41:58

Tell the Head.
Accession on school premises can and does lead to a parent being banned from premises, and required to wait outside. You may still see them on the road, but it sends a strong message that their behaviour is unacceptable.

DancingLedge Sat 14-Oct-17 09:42:42

Agression, obviously.

Itsanothernamechange Sat 14-Oct-17 09:45:42

Thanks, he was definitely on the defense which makes me think the school have had him in for a telling off. Think I will ring the school Monday morning

sarahjconnor Sat 14-Oct-17 09:53:05

Tell the school. This happened to me and the school spoke to him and stopped him as he'd done it to a teacher as well. Hilariously he walked into my business desperate for help about 6 months ago (5 years after the shouting) and the look on his face when my assistant called me over was priceless. Needless to say we couldn't fit him in. grin

DaisyAdair Sat 14-Oct-17 09:53:07

How horrible for you OP.

Just out of interest, what do you teach?

iknowimcoming Sat 14-Oct-17 09:55:12

As dancing said, we had a parent banned from school property when my dc were at primary for verbally abusing another parent, so definitely report. And whilst I wouldn’t be rash and jump to conclusions of abuse etc - this guy sounds like a right piece of work and it might be useful for the school to know how quick his temper is, just in case they’ve got concerns in other areas.

UnbornMortificado Sat 14-Oct-17 09:56:33

He sounds guilty, doesn't like he could of got his child hurt or killed and is taking it out on you.

TheMaddHugger Sat 14-Oct-17 09:59:58

((((((((((Mega Hugs))))))))))) OP.

Personally I would mention this to the staff as well.

ThePinkOcelot Sat 14-Oct-17 10:00:48

I would definitely phone the school on Monday and tell them about him! What an arse!!x

frenchfancy17 Sat 14-Oct-17 10:01:20

I'd want to know how he knew it was you?

Who told him?

highinthesky Sat 14-Oct-17 10:01:36

Yes, definitely report to the Head. They may be able to spare a member of staff to be able to observe at pick-up times for a short while, to restore your peace of mind. You deserve to be able to collect you DC in a safe environment.

This arsehole of a parent is setting a very fine example to his impressionable young child.

BluePheasant Sat 14-Oct-17 10:06:08

I would inform the head, they should be interested to know if what’s going on around school premises. Who knows, this might not have been the first occasion of him harassing another parent.

Melony6 Sat 14-Oct-17 10:06:20

I don't think I would have named the child who ran out. This can happen to anyone, child dashes off for some reason. Or I would have expected a general comment on road safety from the Head, not single out a parent for advice/ telling off.

Itsanothernamechange Sat 14-Oct-17 10:08:30

Will definitely call on Monday if only to make them aware. I know if it had been my child who'd ran in front of car I'd be very grateful to the person that they had stopped in time and my child would have got a right telling off.
In answer to the question in work in early years so it's not something I've come across as all the kids obviously get dropped off by an adult.

Namechangetempissue Sat 14-Oct-17 10:10:17

I would imagine he is defensive because he knows he looks like a crap parent (even though we all make mistakes!) and feels shit about getting "told off". A lot of people immediately get angry when they realise they have made a mistake and rather than taking it on the chin will make up excuses lr blame someone else.
I would have just turned and walked off when he got angry. You won't reason with someone like that. Ignore him on the school run and stand away. If he makes a beeline for you or says anything else, speak to the school.

cakedup Sat 14-Oct-17 10:18:42

I work in road safety. This doesn't sound like the boy was crossing the road safely at all and you were right to report it to the school.

Children that young can not properly judge speed and distance. If that boy is not going to be supervised whilst crossing the road (and really I would recommend that he shouldn't be crossing the road independently until at least year 5) then he needs to be shown how to do it safely.

His dad sounds like a complete dick. You were looking out for his son and he should be thanking you. Definitely mention his threatening behaviour to the head. Although, at this point, I'm more worried about the boy. It's an accident waiting to happen.

origamiwarrior Sat 14-Oct-17 10:19:18

I don't think the school should have told them it was you who reported this. I think my ire would be directed at them in this instance. His response was somewhat predictable, given the type of man he is. The have put you in danger.

Namechangetempissue Sat 14-Oct-17 10:20:31

I presume the man had seen the OP rather than the school telling him who reported? Sounds like it from the first post when he says he saw what happened?

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