To ask to sit in on my child's class

[Sandsunsea]

To observe their behaviour, the behaviour of others and how my child interacts with others and vice versa. My child in SEN in mainstream but is constantly getting punished for 'bad' behaviour which I believe is linked to my child's disability rather than actually being naughty. I only have the schools word for the issues as my child cannot communicate to me their side of the story.

[designatedSurvivor]

You can ask.

I don't think I would give permission. I'd also wonder what the benefit would be as simply by being there, you're going to change your child's behaviour.

[doodle01]

tricky.
As your there whatever happens it would be because your there so not very scientific.
Also smacks of checking up on the teacher or other kids. No disrespect but I wouldn't wont you to monitor my child if they were in the class. They would never agree. I wouldn't even ask.
Surely if your kid has a SEN they know this and would make allowances.

[Yorkshirebetty]

You want to observe a lesson? I don't think that's possible. Have you spoken to the teacher about the situation, or discussed it with school? You need to meet up with the AEN lead teacher, perhaps, and discuss your concerns.

[doodle01]

crossed in the ethernet !

[YoureAnArseholeDenise]

Attach a hidden video camera to your child’s clothing?

[Ploppie4]

How old is the child. Can you instead help out with reading? And keep an eye out

[AllTheWittyNamesAreGone]

Attach a hidden video camera to your child’s clothing?

Fucking stupid thing to do. The safeguarding implications alone

[Sirzy]

I doubt you would get a realistic picture anyway.

You would be better asking the senco to observe and if necessary asking them to ask for outside help.

[theduchessstill]

YABVU - no way would I allow this.

[BishopBrennansArse]

You being there will affect DC’s behaviour. Is there any way you can discreetly observe? DS1’s nursery got me to watch through a hatch to observe his behaviours without him knowing.

[FAkenameforthis]

No. Work with the senco and the school.

[Secretsthatnevershouldbetold]

When I was concerned about how my child was interacting in class the headteacher once offered to let me sit in a lesson. I declined, for the reasons the posters above has given, but I wouldn't necessarily say it is an "impossible" ask...

[HouseholdWords]

You do know that with you there, you won't see how he is when you're not there?

I don't think what you propose is possible or will solve your issue.

[Whinesalot]

I have asked to sit in classes when choosing a secondary school and that was granted but I think you will be denied this request.

[cordeliavorkosigan]

I don't think it's necessarily the first step but I'd be very worried in your situation. Clearly your child should not be punished for behaviour that is SEN-related, and if you feel this is happening, especially if it's frequent, it needs to be dealt with. I doubt it's as impossible as people on here are saying. And although it's true that your presence will affect the dynamic, your DC is hardly going to have their SEN cured by your presence. You might be able to offer a perspective on what particular expectations are challenging and why given the specific SEN.
Earlier steps would presumably include speaking with the teacher and the SENCO, continuing to try to hear your child's point of view, approaching the head, etc. If it's an ongoing issue and you offer to come in and work with them on it I don't think a good school should say that you can't do that.

[Sandsunsea]

Thank you all for your perspective on this situation.
cordeliavorkosigan Thank you your reply is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.

[ElegantDream]

What you talking about?

Ultimately the expectations have to be the same for all - but a child with SEN should be supported to reach the outcome.

Regardless of SEN, a child could not be allowed to be rude/ aggresssove or violent. That's not fair on the other children and not acceptable in society.

So, ideally a child who hits would have steps in place in order for them never to get to the point of hitting. If that child does hit, they need to understand the consequences the same as all of the other children. SEN can't allow them to think that they can 'get away' with hitting.

Not sure whether any of this applies in your case, though.

[WitchesHatRim]

Attach a hidden video camera to your child’s clothing?

That has to be the most stupid thing I've seen today.

[Sandsunsea]

Thank you ElegantDream. My child isn't violent so it doesn't apply in my case but I do agree with everything you said.

[Findingdotty]

Do you have links with the senco at the moment? I think they could do a better class observation than you would be able to do. If you are under the care of a SEN department then you could also ask for a educational pyschologist to come along to do a class observation and then to offer their opinion and some guidance to the school on how to better support your child in the classroom environment.

[TwoBobs]

Volunteer to help once a week in the classroom. That's what I did so I could see how my children behaved, who they were friends with but you're also giving something back to the school. I remember thinking it weird that my dd never put her hand up when teachers asked a question even though I knew she knew the answer and wasn't shy.
A few years later she got an autism diagnosis and I then realised that she was just day dreaming the whole time which is why she never put her hand up. She managed to hide it really well because she was above average intellectually so the school never noticed.

[PerfectPenquins]

Can you have an impartial professional go in and observe like a private educational psychologist?

[Sirzy]

Many school students won’t allow parents to volunteer in their child’s class - rightly so imo.

[Hoppinggreen]

Apart from anything else by observing you will probably not see a true picture as everyone will be on their best behaviour

[blanklook]

Is your child under a Paed or OT or SLT, they can observe in classrooms as part of assessing a child's needs.