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To not understand why people don't understand men cannot be raped by a woman?

(536 Posts)
TurquoiseChevrotain Fri 13-Oct-17 11:51:57

I've read a lot whenever this comes up on here or elsewhere, that it's 'terrible' and such an outdated view. Why is it? Why can't people understand what rape is? Men can be sexually assaulted by women, but not raped.

helpmefast Fri 13-Oct-17 11:55:33

Because the idea is still one party forcing sex- why is it less serious Because the victim is a male?

RedSkyAtNight Fri 13-Oct-17 11:56:23

Because people use "rape" to mean "having sex without the other person's consent" as opposed to worrying about the actual legal definition?

peachgreen Fri 13-Oct-17 11:56:27

Under UK law, a man cannot technically be raped by a woman. However, if a male victim of sexual assault chose to define himself as being raped, I personally wouldn't feel it was my place to question that, just as I wouldn't question a woman who was assaulted digitally or with an object and chose to define that as rape.

TurquoiseChevrotain Fri 13-Oct-17 11:57:01

No, the idea requires a penis. It isn't less serious. Sexual assault by penetration can hold the same sentencing.

mintteaandbananabread Fri 13-Oct-17 11:57:01

Rape means unwanted penetration with a PENIS. So a woman cannot rape a man.

If you are going to berate others for misunderstanding, make sure you haven't got your own point entirely wrong.

mintteaandbananabread Fri 13-Oct-17 11:57:41

Oh god sorry, I am agreeing with you, I read it wrong. Many apologies!

TurquoiseChevrotain Fri 13-Oct-17 11:58:02

I haven't got my point wrong? confused

TurquoiseChevrotain Fri 13-Oct-17 11:58:19

X post grin

TurquoiseChevrotain Fri 13-Oct-17 11:59:27

I obviously don't mean by victims, but people do tend to sprout that it's unfair and outdated.

Quimby Fri 13-Oct-17 12:01:12

Because they use the laymans definition rather than the legal one.

In a similar way I wouldn't be jumping up and down to correct women if I was in Canada and they were describing their experiences of being raped just because there's no offence of "rape" in Canadian law.

I'd understand the point of their discussion rather than trying to wade in with legal corrections.

ButchyRestingFace Fri 13-Oct-17 12:02:01

Agree with Peachgreen.

I wouldn’t be inclined to start nit picking the legal definition with any man who told me he’d been raped.

TurquoiseChevrotain Fri 13-Oct-17 12:02:31

Please can people understand what I'm saying? People (not victims) say the law is unfair. Hence I'm speaking of the legal definition.

I'm not talking about victims who are describing what happened to them.

mothertruck3r Fri 13-Oct-17 12:04:40

Of course they can. Imaginary scenario;

Teenage boy, forcefully held down by a group of older women who aggressively insert sex toy into his bum without his consent, him crying in pain, begging them to stop. Would that not be rape? If you don't think so you are deluded.

TurquoiseChevrotain Fri 13-Oct-17 12:05:21

@mothertruck3r I'm not deluded. That's sexual assault by penetration. Not rape.

Willow2017 Fri 13-Oct-17 12:06:06

The law needs to be changed. Any form of forced penetration should be classed as rape. Why should women get more lenient sentences because they don't have a penis if they use an object it causes just as much physical and emotional pain as a penis.
Same with men.
My friends husband would use a beer bottle in her if he was too drunk to get it up but she couldn't class that as rape and sexual assault usually has a much lesser penalty.

TheMaddHugger Fri 13-Oct-17 12:07:14


Andrewofgg Fri 13-Oct-17 12:08:07

Rape requires a penis but sexual assault by penetration can be committed with anything, vaginally or an ally. And it carries the same maximum - life.

I don't suppose it is often committed by women on men but it obviously can be.

Bunnyhipsdontliegrl Fri 13-Oct-17 12:08:23

I'm glad someone understands the terminology matters so much more than a man being sexually assaulted. It is of the highest importance that a man can never feel like his ordeal is actually a rape. Let's fight about words instead of realising that a man who is anally penetrated by wathever it is will feel as raped as a woman penetrated by a penis.

TurquoiseChevrotain Fri 13-Oct-17 12:08:32

@Willow2017 loads of women are victims of sexual assault by penetration by men too, it is just a different crime. It's bizarre you don't understand how a penis is different.

These are the views I'm talking about.

TurquoiseChevrotain Fri 13-Oct-17 12:09:09

@Bunnyhipsdontliegrl where did I say they don't?

Sohurt17 Fri 13-Oct-17 12:09:15

I agree with you Willow.

TheMaddHugger Fri 13-Oct-17 12:09:41


TurquoiseChevrotain Fri 13-Oct-17 12:09:50

Exactly @Andrewofgg

LucieLucie Fri 13-Oct-17 12:10:11

@mothertruck3r no, that’s scenario would be indecent assault.

A penis IS needed for the offence of rape to be complete.

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