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To refuse to give this person a lift

(250 Posts)
blackcatpurring Fri 13-Oct-17 09:37:51

I am a home carer. It's shit.

I'm working with someone who doesn't drive tonight. They have messaged me with this:

Hi, I'm working wifh you tonight. I don't drive so can you pick me up please? I live at 123 London Roa

AIBU to reply "no, make your own way to the first call."

Penners99 Fri 13-Oct-17 09:42:31

Ignore the message. Not your circus, not your monkey

Ilovevegas Fri 13-Oct-17 09:43:41

Never really understood the home care thing if you can't drive hmm

But saying that, I will help someone out depending on a few things. Mainly distance, is it out of your way to pick her up op? Will mileage get covered by the company for picking her up? How regular would it be?

echt Fri 13-Oct-17 09:43:53

Well, they have said please, so: "I'm not able to do that."

HateHomework Fri 13-Oct-17 09:44:24

You don't want to pick them up cause you don't like him or he's too far or in shit mood?

blackcatpurring Fri 13-Oct-17 09:45:15

No, Hate, because I need to be firm otherwise I will be picking her up and dropping her off every time.

seven201 Fri 13-Oct-17 09:45:42

How long would it take to go pick her up? Either pick her up (if less than 5 mins total), tell her to meet you there or meet outside your house. It's a very abrupt message! Do you even know her? I take it you'll have to ferry her round to all the service users?

TheDowagerCuntess Fri 13-Oct-17 09:45:51

Either ignore the message or reply, 'sorry, I can't'.

What are they going to do - call an uber and arrive at your house ready for the lift? No.

EnidNextDoor Fri 13-Oct-17 09:46:05

Depends. What are the company rules? Do you get petrol refunded? Is it on your way?

blackcatpurring Fri 13-Oct-17 09:48:22

Not on the way and even if it was, I woildn't be stopping.

I know. But you then end up with lifts being expected and just part of work, that you get picked up and dropped off. And I am just not doing it.

TheDowagerCuntess Fri 13-Oct-17 09:48:22

Doesn't matter if petrol is refunded, if you don't want to give the person the lift.

blackcatpurring Fri 13-Oct-17 09:48:53

Petrol isn't refunded. But in any case it isn't just that. It is time.

TheDowagerCuntess Fri 13-Oct-17 09:49:50

It's not just time.

It's sitting in a confined space with someone you don't want to be there with.


mintteaandbananabread Fri 13-Oct-17 09:53:31

Don't do it, or you'll get suckered every single time. I wouldn't even respond to the message. CF to even ask like that!

RunRabbitRunRabbit Fri 13-Oct-17 09:56:29

Your message is fine. Rather blunt but then so is her message.

Mulberry72 Fri 13-Oct-17 09:56:34

If you do it once you’ll be expected to do it all the time. Just reply and say “That isn’t possible”.

Why would someone take a home carer job without being able to drive?

blackcatpurring Fri 13-Oct-17 09:56:59

I know. Then you get "but there are no buses at 11 at night / 6 in the morning / that go that way" why the actual FUCK did you apply for a driving job when you can't drive, you stupid piece of shit?

Wellandtrulyoutnumbered Fri 13-Oct-17 09:57:00

I'll help anyone out in an emergency. Car breakdown, childcare , bus strike etc.

However this isn't an emergency and by starting a lift now she'll become reliant on you.

How does she normally get about.

DancesWithOtters Fri 13-Oct-17 09:57:34

Of course you don't have to.

How far out of your way are they?

Can't you just say that you are not coming from home and you are going to be 10 miles in the other direction?

Wellandtrulyoutnumbered Fri 13-Oct-17 09:57:36

I'd actually speak to the office who organises the jobs.

knowler Fri 13-Oct-17 09:57:54

I'd ignore it. It's not your responsibility. End of.

EnidNextDoor Fri 13-Oct-17 09:59:19

How do other carers get to/from their first and last visits?

SteampunkPrincess Fri 13-Oct-17 10:00:34

so will they have to travel with you through the evening?
you have to use your own fuel/car - do you get refunded?

goodnessidontknow Fri 13-Oct-17 10:01:41

I assume you will be driving your colleague all day between jobs so maybe say that you're happy for them to hop in with you from your house to the first stop but I certainly wouldn't be doing any picking up.
If you're feeling generous and you're not going directly somewhere after work you could offer the same in reverse but make it clear from the start that you are not going out of your way to get someone else to their job.
I know too many people who have ended up being required to provide transport in this sort of scenario and none of them get paid for the extra time or inconvenience.

TheDowagerCuntess Fri 13-Oct-17 10:02:00

Penners summed it up, really.

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