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To tell SIL to come up with her own wedding ideas?!

(115 Posts)
IrrelevantPeasant Thu 12-Oct-17 20:23:43

DH and I got married 4 years ago on a beach abroad. It was only us and a couple of close family members. SIL is now planning her own wedding and wants to get married on the same beach, have a similar style wedding cake and is wanting to order the same bloody flowers I had 4 years ago. I am livid! It was our wedding and she's basically doing everything we did all over again. I know in the scheme of things this is a bit petty but AIBU to ask her to consider at least a different beach?! She's an intelllegent, creative woman so no idea why she can't come up with her own ideas.

Aderyn17 Thu 12-Oct-17 20:28:17

Not sure why it really matters - it takes nothing away from you. Unless she is all single white female, I'd take it as a compliment that she thinks your wedding was so lovely she wants to imitate it.

Lelloteddy Thu 12-Oct-17 20:28:50

So nobody else has ever got married on that beach in the past four years? grin

KindleBueno Thu 12-Oct-17 20:28:56

Take it as compliment

Ttbb Thu 12-Oct-17 20:29:45

A bit odd but who cares? Imitation is the highest form of flattery after all

Papafran Thu 12-Oct-17 20:32:07

Yeah, because that is something worth getting 'livid' about.

AgathaOHara Thu 12-Oct-17 20:32:42

So what? Be flattered and enjoy returning to a place that's special to you. You'll sound like a previous idiot if you say anything to her.

ludothedog Thu 12-Oct-17 20:32:46

does it really matter?
A wedding is a day, a marriage is for life., if you're happy what's the problem?

AgathaOHara Thu 12-Oct-17 20:33:22

precious not previous.

greendale17 Thu 12-Oct-17 20:35:41

Very odd and pretty sad when you think about it. Looks like she wants a carbon copy of your wedding

ZoeWashburne Thu 12-Oct-17 21:04:34

I didn't realise you could copyright flowers, venues and cakes.

No wedding is completely unique. Nothing you did hadn't already been done before.

Why are you so territorial? I'd love to go back to my wedding as a guest.

FittonTower Thu 12-Oct-17 21:06:57


IrrelevantPeasant Thu 12-Oct-17 21:12:22

Really? Nobody else thinks it strange that a close family member wants to get married on the same beach with the same cake, flowers etc? You have to arrange with the local fishermen to take you to this beach as you can't access it otherwise so I doubt anyone else has got married there- it's not a regular venue.

Obviously I abu then but I find it totally weird that she doesn't want to make it her own special day!

Bonelessbanquet Thu 12-Oct-17 21:14:49

If it was just a bog standard cake and flowers surely it's hard not to be copied? If you had something extremely unique I could understand

seagreengirl Thu 12-Oct-17 21:22:39

Yes, of course it's weird.

Mumsnet is so strange sometimes people are deliberately obtuse. Is it your DH's sister, if so maybe he could have a word, and let her know how you feel.

Aderyn17 Thu 12-Oct-17 21:28:27

I'm not saying it isn't weird - of course it is. Only that it isn't a problem as such, unless she copies lots of things you do.
Everyone knows you got married first and that she is copying. It reflects badly on her, if anything, but doesn't actuslly tske away anything from you - you had the wedding you wanted.

Andylion Thu 12-Oct-17 21:29:54

I agree with seagreen, it's weird. At best it shows a lack of imagination, on her part, at worst, well, I don't know but it ain't good.

ForeverTuesdayMorning Thu 12-Oct-17 21:30:24

Totally weird and I too would feel pissed off

wictional Thu 12-Oct-17 21:33:49

I'd love to go back to my wedding as a guest.

I think I would say this outright to her! “It would be so fun to see how you guys saw our wedding - I always wondered how those flowers looked from the guest’s perspective/see how I looked walking down the beach; thanks for giving me an excuse! Also, here’s Pinterest. It might help.”

Celticlassie Thu 12-Oct-17 21:34:45

It is weird, but it’s her that’s going to look weird - everyone’s already been to your wedding so will know who’s copied who.

cupofchai Thu 12-Oct-17 21:37:03

I'd be pissed off! It's like your wedding and totally your day!!

Is she better looking? Damn that would make it even worse!

StatueInTheSky Thu 12-Oct-17 21:37:16

oh c'mon you'll be moaning she is getting married to a man in a suit and wearing a fancy frock in a bit!

wedding flower....orchids, lilies, roses
cake...lots of icing
guests...close family

Mulch Thu 12-Oct-17 21:38:56

I think you have alot of time on your hands if her wedding plans really irk you so much

Scholes34 Thu 12-Oct-17 21:39:20

Do you get to go? You could wear your wedding dress.

Papafran Thu 12-Oct-17 21:40:48

I would seriously not be making any sly digs at her. Back in the olden days before people payed ridiculous amounts for a party (and got themselves into debt that they hadn't cleared by the time they got divorced), everyone got married in the same venue- usually the local church or registry office. The wedding doesn't matter- the marriage does and surely if you're so happy with your DH, it shouldn't even enter your head to be 'livid' about her choosing the same venue. I suspect you're pissed off because hers might be better than yours.

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