To give up alcohol completely (not addiction-related)

[Frege]

I've never been a big drinker but used to enjoy a couple of glasses of wine at the weekend.

I'm 40 now and finding that even my 1-2 glasses a week is affecting me terribly the next day- I get horrible headaches and feel either weepy or just completely disconnected and unmotivated (to be clear, I'm totally fine normally). It's just not worth it and I'm thinking about going tee total.

Has anyone else found this? Is it just age? I remember drinking loads as a student (years ago) and then just necking some ibuprofen and feeling fine- why can't I still do that?

At the moment I want to give it up entirely but am finding it awkward in social situations (eg having dinner with friends)- I feel like such a killjoy so end up accepting a drink I don't really want and that I know will make me feel like shit. I want to make a definite decision and stick to it. I'm also a bit worried that people will assume I have a drink problem if I don't drink at all- the only teetotallers I know are alcoholics. I do appreciate that's a silly worry though.

[QuopQuop]

Hi.
Try looking at sulphur free wines. Sometimes people can have a sensitivity to the sulphur added that makes the typical hangover symptoms worse!

[MagicMarkers]

Drinking isn't compulsory. Just tell your friends the truth that it makes you feel sick. If they can't accept it then they're likely to have alcohol issues themselves or they don't have your interests at heart.

I drink very rarely and I have found that people want to tell me that they worry that they're drinking too much.

[BlackPepperCrab]

At the moment I want to give it up entirely but am finding it awkward in social situations (eg having dinner with friends)- I feel like such a killjoy so end up accepting a drink I don't really want and that I know will make me feel like shit. I want to make a definite decision and stick to it. I'm also a bit worried that people will assume I have a drink problem if I don't drink at all- the only teetotallers I know are alcoholics. I do appreciate that's a silly worry though.

To be honest, I think your issue here is that you worry too much about what other people might think. It's your choice if you want to drink or not. I don't personally drink anymore for various reasons. In social situations, I just say "nah I'll pass" when someone asks and usually that's the end of it.

[Kentnurse2015]

Why does it matter if you drink or not? I don't care either way with my friends

[SandyDenny]

Of course you can give up drinking, it's entirely your choice, why would you care what anyone else thinks?

[SomewhatIdiosyncratic]

I'm a light drinker. Friends have no issue if I drink a little or not at all. Although my friends are pretty sensible and used to drivers, pregnancy etc.

I've noticed the last few times I've had wine that I get tired and headachy like the hangover is kicking in as I drink it. I don't get that with cider or gin & tonic.

Good friends won't care if you stop drinking because they'll be friends for your company.

[MilibandStoleMySonsName]

I've had to give up alcohol because of interactions with medication. Ive found that nobody cares if I have a soft drink, anymore than i care what anyone else is drinking.
Very occasionally I'll miss alcohol but I don't miss the two day hangovers though!

[HesaidIwasflighty]

Just tell your friends the truth that it makes you feel sick. If they can't accept it then they're likely to have alcohol issues themselves or they don't have your interests at heart.

^This, for definite! It's nobody's business but your own if you give up alcohol. TBH, if people are rude enough to question your reason for not drinking, you're better off not spending very much time with them.

[imjessie]

I’ve given up really at nearly 43. My friends can’t really understand it as I’ve always been a big drinker when on nights out ( but never drunk regularly or at home ) . I had a spell of horrible headaches and these were aggravated by alcohol so it made sense to cut it out .

[Feministcheeseplate]

Looking like you want to vomit and having a migraine will make you a killjoy. Not drinking won’t.


You risk becoming very popular though. designated driver

[Feministcheeseplate]

Although obviously if you’re having headaches in general you want to get that checked out

[pointythings]

I think you should just tell people straight out that alcohol gives you severe headaches and that you do not want to drink any more. If your friends give you grief about that, they are not your friends.

[EdwardBear1920]

I drink very little - a sip of DHs to taste it or a mouthful of small-brewery beer if he's getting something different.

Friends never question my not drinking (family is another story).

What has helped socially is to have a back-up drink. If I order sparkling water, I'm getting something I like and they don't feel I'm missing out as it somehow feels if I'm just drinking tap water. It makes the splitting the bill thing easier too - I'll pay the same as the others.

One group of friends order along with theirs. 'Can we have a bottle of house red and a bottle of sparkling water, please?' Nobody bats an eyelid.

The only odd social thing I did find was whether to take a bottle of wine when my friend made dinner. I went with just flowers, and she was pleased. She had a bottle of sparkling water already in the fridge for me.

You get very used to saying, 'no thank you, I'll have...'

[uncoolnn]

I don’t drink often. People tend to get used to it after the first few times, I wouldn’t worry what others think

[User7628]

I don't drink anymore for similar reasons and because it makes me feel sluggish. I was a big drinker at one point too. At least 5 bottles of wine a week. So glad I did it as I feel much better daily, have lost shit loads of weight and have saved about £3000 in 2 years which I now spend on holidays.

I get where you are coming from though. I still get friends asking why I am not drinking 2 years later. Some think it's odd.

[Frege]

Thanks, everyone. Lots of my friends are big drinkers so it will seem a bit strange to them, I think. But you're right that it doesn't matter.

[tealandteal]

Some people won't understand and will say "but what about x drink, have you tried that" and seem aghast when you say no thank you I don't drink. However you soon get used to saying no thank you and saving money! I don't like the taste of alcohol in anything and haven't had it for about 8 years, no one has ever assumed or asked if I am an alcoholic.

[Fifthtimelucky]

I’m now in my 50s and gave up alcohol over 30 years ago (though do cook with it). I have no idea whether anyone thinks I used to be an alcoholic but my friends know I didn’t and I don’t much care about anyone else!