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I must be a troll...

(66 Posts)
WhitePhantom Thu 12-Oct-17 12:52:53

Ok, been here years, Mexican house thief, naice ham, pom bears, cutted up pear, etc.

It's so easy to rattle them all off to prove my non-trollness.

But the only one of those stories I actually know is the Mexican house thief - what a brilliant story of cheeky fuckeriness!

Can someone fill me in on the others? Thanks! grin

c3pu Thu 12-Oct-17 13:04:28

Browse through classics, you n00b!

Papafran Thu 12-Oct-17 13:04:36

Cutted-up pear- not even a funny one imo. Someone pretending to write an AIBU from a baby/toddler. Lame.

Pom-bear- some weird thread about being invited to a dinner party and being served loads of convenience-food instead of home cooked. Suggestion being to invite them back and serve pom-bears or something.

Naice ham- someone found a shopping list in a waitrose trolley which included 'naice ham'

Thinking about it, those are all quite lame ones. I am sure there are better ones out there.

ToEarlyForDecorations Thu 12-Oct-17 13:18:02

Yeah - penis beaker (lets hear it, hip hip hooray !)

Bendyandtheinkmachine Thu 12-Oct-17 13:50:46

Elderly Korean lady in the garden?

Eolian Thu 12-Oct-17 13:52:31

The T-Rexing in the supermarket one is the funniest imo.

Aridane Thu 12-Oct-17 13:56:06

I don't think I have a (Mumsnet) sense of humour. Threads that have people spitting tea over their keyboards / waking the baby with their laughter / DH coming in from another room to see what's going on leave me cold. Cutted up pear raised a smile though

Dontknowwherethelineis Thu 12-Oct-17 13:57:09

Poo crumbs!

WhitePhantom Thu 12-Oct-17 13:57:10

I've read a good few classics, but never came across some of those. Some hilarious stuff in classics but from what you've said these ones don't sound that funny!

Was the elderly Korean lady the one where she had previously taken the gooseberries (or blackberries or something) from the owner's garden and was very irate that the owner had had the "cheek" to take them herself?

What's penis beaker? I forgot that, that's another I've seen as 'proof' of not being a troll. Never heard of t-rexing in the supermarket! What's that??

Pigface1 Thu 12-Oct-17 13:57:43

I liked cutted-up pear! I didn't really 'get' the Pom bear one though.

WhitePhantom Thu 12-Oct-17 13:58:03

I've seen a few about poo crumbs - they make me laugh!

MomToWedThorFriday Thu 12-Oct-17 13:59:59

Even Mexican house thief didn’t really do it for me.

ReasonableLlama Thu 12-Oct-17 14:00:09

The Korean lady one is where someone sold their shed and they came to collect it and spent hours taking it apart bit by bit but they bought an elderly Korean lady who just parked herself in the garden watching the shed dismantling.

WhitePhantom Thu 12-Oct-17 14:02:03

Bought an elderly Korean lady???? I presume that should read 'brought' an elderly Korean lady? Buying elderly Korean ladies is illegal I think grin

Ginslinger Thu 12-Oct-17 14:07:02

didn't Pom Bears start from when someone was going to do Come Dine With Me and that she would offer Pom Bears as canapes so that we'd know who she was? Or did the idea for that come about because Pom Bears was already a thing?
Baffled and I've been here a while

EllieMentry Thu 12-Oct-17 14:09:59

Auntie Tantrums made me laugh more than any of these.

ILoveMillhousesDad Thu 12-Oct-17 14:10:22

Oh god. The ones were people write from pov of toddlers, babies, cats, teenagers.

Lame as fuck.

RustyBear Thu 12-Oct-17 14:10:48

I'm pretty sure the original shopping list just said 'nice ham', and the 'naice' spelling evolved on the thread from the idea that it must have been written by a Hyacinth Bucket type who would say it that way.

ILoveMillhousesDad Thu 12-Oct-17 14:11:32

Don't know if it is in classics, but the one where the OP told her MIL she was the carcass did make me laugh.

HarrietKettleWasHere Thu 12-Oct-17 14:11:33

Centre Parcs and anal sex?

I find the Ines written from a toddler/cat/dog POV really tedious to be honest!

I mostly enjoyed the thread that came off the back of that excellent Jilly Cooper-esque troll where the very stoic woman had discovered her husband had shagged her best mate then hilariously over egged it by saying the mate had with her wedding dress. The piss-taking follow ups that came off the back of it were brilliant.

IvorHughJars Thu 12-Oct-17 14:11:43

I'm on the t-rexing in the supermarket one under an old name. I didn't find it funny then and I don't find it funny now. Just thought it was weird and a bit tedious. Cutted up pear was funny at the time. My fave thread ever never gets a mention in the "I'm not trolling cos trolls can't use a search function" type opening posts, and that's one about an op who pooed on her skirt at work. I think it's in Classics. Never re-visited it but at the time it made me cry with laughter.

HarrietKettleWasHere Thu 12-Oct-17 14:13:29

Sorry- the mate apparently had worn the OPs wedding dress to shag her husband.

I believe it all came tumbling down for the OP when she insisted the daughter was in the middle of her A level exams and it was completely the wrong time for the exams, or something.

Papafran Thu 12-Oct-17 14:13:39

Rusty in that case it's even more lame than I thought. Can't believe anyone even started a thread about someone writing nice ham on a shopping list. Let alone that it became a sensation.

FeralBeryl Thu 12-Oct-17 14:16:39

The one that had me actually crying with laughter was the poo pouffe one.
Poster had taken delivery for a neighbour and her child pooed on it.
When she gave it back, she said 'sorry it's been shat on' and the neighbour was fine, she was then worried the neighbour thought she was doing a Sean Connery impression and just saying 'sat on'
Fucking fabulous.
A lot of the ones mentioned depend on the style of writing. Some posters have the knack of making the most mundane subject interesting.

HesterLee Thu 12-Oct-17 14:19:08

I've had a smile at some of those mentioned. But the only one that had me laugh out loud was this one
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1452031-Please-recommend-your-best-buys-what-enharnce-your-life-But-but-but-they-cannot-cost-more-than-4-73

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